Problem with wanting sex to just be natural - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #46 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 05:57 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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20 years! Wow!
I stumbled on one of my wife's fantasies by accident. That was after about 5 years.
When i asked where her orgasm came from, one like I had never seen before, she told me she had wanted me to do that to her for years! Go figure. I'd have never guessed she had that fantasy, and when i asked, she said she never would have told me. She was afraid i would have thought she was a perv or something. One thing....it was nothing i would have thpought of doing, much less that she wanted me to.

Anyway....i did it all the time after that.....and i did it better and with more and great enthusiasm!
She told me another little thing she wanted to try later, and i did that too! Then...another and another.
One good ffantasy deserves another....


Get her drunk, and pry it out of her!
Or you may never know what you are missng....and her either!

Lots of people have sexual fantasies that can't be accomplished with one sexual partner.

One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.
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post #47 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:05 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.


Prude.
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post #48 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:06 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.
You probably can't; it's quite difficult to form a circle with just one person

That's some fantasy though...Kudos to her for having the balls to tell you.
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post #49 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:36 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Lots of people have sexual fantasies that can't be accomplished with one sexual partner.

One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.
There are also fantasies which are physically impossible! My wife had one of those....quite bizarre.
She fantasized about me boinking her and eating her at the same time, all while overfilling her with a major volume of ejaculate.

We did a 'simulation' with a dildo....as close as I could get!

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post #50 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:43 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

Hope that wasn't TMI for the board......
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post #51 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 06:51 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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There are also fantasies which are physically impossible! My wife had one of those....quite bizarre.
She fantasized about me boinking her and eating her at the same time, all while overfilling her with a major volume of ejaculate.

We did a 'simulation' with a dildo....as close as I could get!

Don't forget to bring a (small) a...plug next time for her as well. It's important to get it right...

But seriously, I wonder how all these fantasies sit with the "porn" threads where it is generally assumed that porn ruins the men's brains for good, provides unrealistic expectations and causes ED.

Those fantasies originated in women's brains, I presume. Or is it the expectation that this is something that men want and women feel they need to live up to something? I could never get my head around which way it is. And I don't think it matters, as long as everyone is enjoying it.
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post #52 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:00 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Don't forget to bring a (small) a...plug next time for her as well. It's important to get it right...

But seriously, I wonder how all these fantasies sit with the "porn" threads where it is generally assumed that porn ruins the men's brains for good, provides unrealistic expectations and causes ED.

Those fantasies originated in women's brains, I presume. Or is it the expectation that this is something that men want and women feel they need to live up to something? I could never get my head around which way it is. And I don't think it matters, as long as everyone is enjoying it.
Well....my wife is not a porn fan by any stretch of the imagination. She thinks this stuff up in her own brain!

Took us a few years to figure it out, but she's the kinky one!! I'm running a distant second!

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post #53 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:02 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

Same here. Go figure...
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post #54 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:04 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Same here. Go figure...
That's OK.....
Don't know 'bout you....but I kind of like it!!

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post #55 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:15 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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That's OK.....
Don't know 'bout you....but I kind of like it!!

Yup. It seems we are blessed; don't say it out too loud otherwise you might scare it away
Enjoy.

Though I think the fantasies are there in every person; just takes time, practice and trust to figure them out & press the right buttons.
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post #56 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 07:18 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Yup. It seems we are blessed; don't say it out too loud otherwise you might scare it away
Enjoy.

Though I think the fantasies are there in every person; just takes time, practice and trust to figure them out & press the right buttons.

Mum's the word.....

And, I have to agree. Took 5 years to discover the first one of her fantasizes. That was the right button to learn more later! When she figured out that I was always willing, I learned a lot!!

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post #57 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:29 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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I think there is an actual fantasy (every woman has one, or a few). The fact that she is worried that it might be scripted if she told you suggests something more elaborate than a pot of honey or an activity. Probably an impersonation or the first thing I mentioned. Have you heard of Clive Bixby and Julianna? :-)
IF.... there is a real fantasy she indicated that it would be something that could just happen naturally. So I doubt there would be any theatrics or role playing.
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post #58 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:32 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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IF.... there is a real fantasy she indicated that it would be something that could just happen naturally. So I doubt there would be any theatrics or role playing.
Well, if you ever find out, I would be very interested to know what it was: I am collecting these to add to the repertoire at home.
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post #59 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:04 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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IF.... there is a real fantasy she indicated that it would be something that could just happen naturally. So I doubt there would be any theatrics or role playing.


Although if it hasn't happened in 20 years, it doesn't seem like something that occurs naturally, easily! Can you not ask her to guide you?


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post #60 of 70 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:37 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Lots of people have sexual fantasies that can't be accomplished with one sexual partner.

One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.
Agreed with others. MAJOR kudos to your wife for being open enough to tell you such a fantasy.

Would freak me out initially to hear something like that, but would then appreciate the openness.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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