Problem with wanting sex to just be natural - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #61 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:37 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Lots of people have sexual fantasies that can't be accomplished with one sexual partner.

One of my wife's fantasies is to be surrounded by a circle of masturbating men, although I'm fine with her having that fantasy amongst others I certainly won't be accomodating her.
Agreed with others. MAJOR kudos to your wife for being open enough to tell you such a fantasy.

Would freak me out initially to hear something like that, but would then appreciate the openness.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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post #62 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:15 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Although if it hasn't happened in 20 years, it doesn't seem like something that occurs naturally, easily! Can you not ask her to guide you?
I'm making a mental list of things that are rather "natural" for a monogamous couple, but that are just not my style. There actually would be a few things on that list. A few of our recent conversations of hers have also hinted at a few stylistic changes.

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post #63 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:51 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

Does she read spicy romance or erotic novels? Most women gravitate toward the books that have characters having sex the way they fantasize about it.

Have you tried the kitchen counter or up against the refrigerator yet? Or on the stairs on the way to the bedroom, with the scenario being you can't wait long enough to make it to the bed? (And yes, I would have loved any of those, tame as they may seem. My H never wanted ANYTHING other than vanilla doggy style or spooning. He didn't even like missionary. Although he did tell me once after we split that he did have fantasies just not involving me. I was his "good girl" and he couldn't treat me that way.

I read a romance novel once where they had sex on a moving treadmill...talk about fantasy ... as in, how is that even possible 😜

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
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post #64 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:59 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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I read a romance novel once where they had sex on a moving treadmill...talk about fantasy ... as in, how is that even possible 😜
Are you sure it wasn't Men's Health magazine? From time to time they always preach how to give enjoyable sex to your wife while work out your body at the same time...(pathetic!)
Now if only they mentioned one of those Power Vibration Plates, I could maybe understand the appeal!
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post #65 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:06 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Are you sure it wasn't Men's Health magazine? From time to time they always preach how to give enjoyable sex to your wife while work out your body at the same time...(pathetic!)
Now if only they mentioned one of those Power Vibration Plates, I could maybe understand the appeal!
I thought enjoyable sex is a workout???

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post #66 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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Does she read spicy romance or erotic novels? Most women gravitate toward the books that have characters having sex the way they fantasize about it.
��
She does not like reading fiction. I'm more likely to find her enjoying a book on the history of western civilization or philosophy.

Anything we watch on TV that has a nude scene (game of thrones), she fast forwards through those scenes. I get upset and tell her those scenes likely include half the plot, but she seems put off by the gratuitous nudity that is most likely just for increasing the ratings.

So as for books, stuff like this would be the only potential clue, but I'm sure she skips over this part as well:

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post #67 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:26 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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So as for books, stuff like this would be the only potential clue, but I'm sure she skips over this part as well:


Or maybe she's stuck on that page??

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post #68 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 03:10 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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The other day my wife and I were discussing fantasies (mostly mine). She revealed to me that she has a very particular fantasy, but that she will not tell me out of fear that it would absolutely ruin the experience by making it feel scripted and planned as opposed to her desire for it to happen completely naturally. She said she has been waiting twenty years for me to try it one day and that she hopes I will figure it out soon.
.
What a cruel mistress! Psychological warfare!

Tie her up to the bed, and then proceed to do every sex act known to you, and see if you stumble on the right one!

You could trick her into telling you with modern technology!
http://mojoupgrade.com/
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post #69 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 05:29 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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What a cruel mistress! Psychological warfare!

Tie her up to the bed, and then proceed to do every sex act known to you, and see if you stumble on the right one!

You could trick her into telling you with modern technology!
Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples | Mojo Upgrade
What a cool idea for some couples!!

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #70 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-17-2017, 11:50 AM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

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You could trick her into telling you with modern technology!
Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples | Mojo Upgrade
Well, I just zipped through the mojoupgrade quiz mentioned above. Cool idea, and it is pretty "advanced". Initially, I imagined that my wife wouldn't even read/answer some of the questions. Then I came across questions I was unsure of answering. It definitely raises some personal and interpersonal dynamics, while asking about non-vanilla activities in a VERY VANILLA way.
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post #71 of 71 (permalink) Old 01-17-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural

let us know if it works out for you.

I think the premise is, you MIGHT have very kinky thoughts, and want to try things, but are too embarrassed to tell your spouse what it is. BUt you two might have a common kink that yu would be surprised that the other person wants also.
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