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How old were you the first time you masturbated?

24K views 78 replies 46 participants last post by  SadSamIAm 
#1 ·
I thought about making this a poll, but I'm looking for more in-depth responses than simply giving an age. I'm wondering...

1. How old were you when you first masturbated?

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm?

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating?
 
#45 ·
1. Very young. Not sure of exact age, but probably between 8-10. I had been sexually abused and as a result I was hyper-aware of parts.

2. 20. After finally getting therapy to deal with the past abuse, I also saw a sex therapist that helped me learn how to let myself O. Prior to that I wasn't able to as I associated some of the sensations with my abuse and would just shut down.

3. I remember exploring and trying to figure out what the big deal was with private parts. Why were men/boys so interested in them? I didn't O, but it did feel good.
 
#47 ·
1. How old were you when you first masturbated?

12 or 13, 13 at the latest

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm?

Happened my first try. (I've always excelled in this department :))

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating?

Is this how it's done? Oh, gee, I'm kind of committed and I hope no one walks in. How's it going to end?

Peers had made many mentions of the act, and I was feeling over due for the experience.

Didn't take long before familiarity with the mechanics left me free to focus on the fantasy. No cable TV or VCR or porn stash discovery for quite awhile. Had to make due with certain sections of the Sears catalogue, bridal magazines (you'd be surprised what could be almost found in there), and the like.

I recall one recurrent fantasy of a girl in my grade who I felt was so nice and beautiful and out of my league. We'd get lost in the woods, had to spend the night huddling together in my tent (somehow happened to have one handy), and were afraid we might not survive. And, well, things developed from there. It occurs to me at that early age not later than 16 I'm guessing) my stronger fantasy was to be needed, to rescue or at least be someone's strength. Precursor to KISA an codependent tendencies I'd express much later? WTF. Did not ever notice that before.
 
#48 ·
Ugh. This question just brings back to the surface how sheltered and isolated I was and how all those around me that should have/could have told me about sex failed me (parents/school).

1. 18
2. 18
3. I was watching a porn I had secretly recorded from some channel called spice late at night. My dad had some aftermarket cable box that decrypted all the cable channels, and I mean ALL of them. He used it to watch boxing or something. Anyway, I would go in the TV room at 2AM and record for a few hours, then retrieve the tape at 4AM. It was a risky operation, because I had to be SUPER quiet and I could NOT FALL ASLEEP and leave the tape in the VCR!!! Of course, the tape was clearly labelled "History Channel" and the porn started after the history show ended and after about 5 minutes of static recorded on the tape. It certainly was "educational" :p. So, I got the tape back to my bedroom, where I had my own VCR (the old retired one). And played the video. It was heterosexual sex, nothing crazy. It was visually arousing, but I had no idea what to do with the erection. I thought maybe after the erection, there is something only a woman can do to make it work. I was completely confused how you can make a baby doing what they were doing. I figured, some fluid must transfer, but it's not urine, is it? Could it be in urine? How could a different fluid come out of the same hole? I must be in the urine. But, that can't be right... Then I thought to myself what if I rub my penis with my hand, kinda like the woman in the video. Bah, how could that work? I tried it anyway, and this amazing feeling came over my body. I was compelled to continue, faster, then before I knew it I was ejaculating across the room! The orgasm was the greatest feeling I'd experienced in my life by a factor of 100. I immediately wanted to do it again! But, also, I was so relieved to finally understand how you make a baby. It seemed like everyone else knew except me. This was obviously how. Whew... Then I realized, holy CRAP I have to clean all this up. It brings a smile to my face remembering that moment. I masturbated almost daily since then and remember being so much happier all the time after that. It was probably the daily shot of oxytocin from orgasm, made me enjoy life more.
 
#53 ·
How old were you when you first masturbated?

4-6, before Kindergarten I think.

How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm?

4-6, before Kindergarten I think. It was faster and easier for me to O as a child than it is for me now as a post-menopausal woman. It might be easier for a girl to O before puberty than a boy.
I think I did it about once a week. I obviously had an instinctual sex drive even that young.


What were you thinking about while masturbating?

Mostly nothing except how it feels. I didn't know anything at all about sex then. I remember sometimes fantasizing about being naked and spanked in public when doing it and that made it seem a bit shameful. Even knowing nothing about sex or the concept of masturbation, I must have felt there was something taboo even though I never discussed it with anyone. I did it in bed before I went to sleep.

How did you find out about sex?

When I was 8, I asked my mother where babies come from. She wisely knew to only answer the question I asked and not give me more information than I was really asking or ready for. But that meant I had to drag out the information from her bit by bit. Because back then ladies did not talk about such private matters, she could not bring herself to say the word 'vagina' or point to that area on me or her, so when I asked where it was, she had to get out an anatomy book and show me. I asked her how 'intercourse' felt (since that's what she called it), and she said 'pleasant'. I was afraid of the idea at first even though I had masturbated for years, I didn't connect the two in my mind.

But in some ways, my mom was fairly modern. On her bedroom bookshelf, she had 'Joy of Sex' which I started reading at age 8. Also at age 8, I found my dad's stack of Playboys and always sneaked in their room to see if there was a new one when they weren't home.

Fortunately, I read some feminist books of my mom's at age 8 also, including books by Germaine Greer, Betty Friedan, and writings by Gloria Steinem. (I was a book worm since Kindergarten.) I remember those books saying women shouldn't be treated as sex objects and shouldn't have to shave their legs or wear bras if they didn't want to.

I realized the depiction of women in Playboy was sexist but I still liked reading it for the dirty cartoons mostly.

I think it was a very fortunate thing that I learned about sex from the book 'Joy of Sex' instead of just Playboy. 'Joy of Sex' made sex sound fun and natural and loving and a thing that happens between equals, not something pornographic or that objectifies women. It talked about women having orgasms and implied that sex is for women's enjoyment as much as men. It is sad when I hear about other women who had sex for years and never realized that women could have orgasms too.

What did you learn about it?

The Joy of Sex book was like a reference book which mostly discussed and depicted heterosexual sex, but made mention of homosexual sex and very briefly mentioned fetishes, BDSM, even golden showers I think.

What did you think about it when you first saw anything about it?

At 8 years old, I liked the idea of having sex in the future but was also sort of afraid it would hurt the first time, and I knew that I would always need to use birth control if I didn't want to get pregnant. The drawings in 'Joy of Sex' looked loving and romantic to me.

I never liked the idea of doing sexual things with males that I wasn't in love with. At ages 12-14, I used to briefly french kiss guys to see what it was like and we often played the 'spin the bottle' game with a crowd of friends where you have to french kiss the person of the opposite sex that the bottle points to. After a while, I realized I didn't even like kissing a guy unless I was 'into' him emotionally and physically attracted to him.

I had unrequited crushes in my teens and then a very religious boyfriend at 16-17 who seemed LD and repressed (a sexual mismatch for sure) so we only kissed. I was a virgin until 18 when I started dating a guy that I loved and was compatible with (who wasn't prudish about sex), and only after I went on birth control.

----

It is surprising to me that so many people never even seemed to touch themselves or get the idea to masturbate until they were teens. It obviously felt good when I touched myself 'down there', so it is mysterious to me that others could go so many years without noticing that. Maybe I just had more hormone levels than others as a child, so maybe for others, they felt nothing special down there until they hit puberty.

Also, I'm surprised other people didn't ask their parents about sex at that age (e.g. age 8-10 years). Weren't other preteen kids curious how babies are made, it didn't even occur to them? Even in Kindergarten I couldn't avoid seeing the drawings or etchings of erect penises and sexual comments on the desks and bathroom doors at school. I don't understand how kids in the elementary and early middle school years weren't curious enough to ask their parents (before teen years when you start being self-conscious and more independent of your parents)? Or maybe many parents lied or dodged the questions.

I told my kids only the mechanics of how babies were made (P goes in V and baby comes out of V) at age 3 or so (there are lots of children's books that help with this) but of course didn't discuss the 'feelings' of sex. I didn't give them 'Joy of Sex' but I did put various books on their bedroom bookshelves meant to introduce teens to sex and puberty.

I think my kids learned that making babies is associated with sexual excitement, romance, kissing around age 8-10 from watching TV shows. Many shows are sort of PG-13 these days that show people passionately kissing, talking about sleeping with each other etc..

I also learned a lot about sex and relationships from watching the daytime soap operas. I remember being so confused at around 7 years old about why in the soap operas there were so many affairs and how a child could be discovered to have a different father than his mother's husband. That led to asking my mother some questions.
 
#62 ·
I never liked the idea of doing sexual things with males that I wasn't in love with. At ages 12-14, I used to briefly french kiss guys to see what it was like and we often played the 'spin the bottle' game with a crowd of friends where you have to french kiss the person of the opposite sex that the bottle points to. After a while, I realized I didn't even like kissing a guy unless I was 'into' him emotionally and physically attracted to him.
Ahh... spin the bottle at my friend's house. She agreed with my suggestion that we go to the other room to kiss instead of in front of everyone. I confess the reason behind this was I figured it was a way someone could have an out without being embarrassed. Although somehow the boys I liked spun the bottle to me. Instead it ended up with giggles outside the door and knocking to tell us time was up. One boy, who I had a crush on, confidently told me he would kiss me that night. Somehow he spun and landed to me. I remember with fondness how nervous he was when we were about to kiss. I instructed him to remove his gum. My friends thought I'd be the first among us to lose my virginity. I was the last... waiting to feel that connection and love.

I didn't ask my parents about sex. My mother called herself a prude and claimed sex was overrated. I grew up with modesty. She was great with was not hindering or interfering with my own journey. She encouraged me to walk to the beat of my own drum and in terms of love and sex, be respectful of myself and others.
 
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#54 ·
@kari2,

The reason I never asked my parents about sex (at any age) is I felt embarrassed and ashamed about it -- about being, or being someone who would eventually be, a sexual being.

I grew up serious about my religion, and I somewhere picked up shame about sexuality from that (particular statements in the main texts). Looking back, I put all that on myself, perhaps with the help of peers (teasing, trying to shame classmates for emerging or delayed puberty and sexuality) and culture (movies), and that's consistent with some neurotic tendencies at the time (social anxiety). My folks, looking back, and my religious peers too, were not looking at sexuality with the same lens of shame I was. (That aspect of my past would be worth changing, if I could do it again.)
@Vega, if it's not too much derailment, I'd be interested to know if folks found masturbation shameful or embarrassing, and if that changed over time. Same goes for partnered sex. For me, I finally felt liberated as a sexual being once I started having sex -- somehow that legitimized it. Though, that did not really remove the shame felt from masturbation. (That's a work in progress, made more difficult I suppose by being an adult in a very sexless marriage.)
 
#55 ·
1. Probably about 11 or 12

2. I think I was 12 before my first orgasm. Didn't know what I was doing. It scared me when it happened, and wasn't sure what that white stuff was, but it felt soooo good!

3. I was sitting alone watching "The Price is Right". Those models on that show were hot!
 
#57 ·
1. How old were you when you first masturbated?

10, maybe 9. I honestly don't know what prompted me to start, either. I think my parents bought me a book around that time that discussed puberty, and the body, and sex in a general way. Curiosity, I suppose.

It wasn't sexual, per se, it just felt good. I lost my virginity when I was 16, and up to that point, I actually was quite happy just masturbating. I was so busy with high-level sports, school, a part time job, etc. that I had no time for girls. I wouldn't say I was a late-bloomer, just that I had other priorities. The instant I got my first girlfriend, and we started having sex, it was a whole different story!

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm?

Same as above. Though I recall not ejaculating at first. I also recall not being surprised the first time I ejaculated, either, so I must have known it was something that would eventually happen. I guess the book told me.

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating?

Up until 11 or 12, nothing, just enjoyed the feeling. After that, magazines with women in them (not porn).
 
#58 ·
On the topic of masturbation and discovery... I had a friend that called off an engagement after finding out his fiance regularly had sex with her brother since they were young. She didn't think it was a big deal and said it didn't count and she was still a virgin. But it was a big deal to him and and he called it off.

But now, I have a son (age 10) and daughter (age 8). I grew up with only brothers and no sisters. So, I was wondering, with hormones going in the teen years, how common is it that brothers and sisters have sex and experiment with each other. So, I asked our therapist today and she looked me in the eye and said "it is a lot more common than you think." WHAT?! I thought, well, she is a therapist and probably is exposed to more people that have had that experience than what is normal... But, I am still a little freaked out. How common is this? 1%, 10%, 30%? Is this no big deal to some people? We all know kids have poor judgement and don't think of the consequences... Is this usually just an issue of parents just telling them that it's not appropriate?

Anyone have experience to share about this?

Should I start a new thread?
 
#64 ·
as for the original question, i have no memory of masturbation or orgasms until i was 14.

what was i thinking of for the first orgasm? probably nothing but the feeling. i cant remember the circumstances of the first time.
 
#67 · (Edited)
I was 9 or 10 and staying with my aunt and uncle and their nefew from the other side of the family. Anyway, he was 11 and we had to sleep in the same bed.

One morning, I was awakened by him shaking the bed. I asked him and he pulled back the covers to show me that he was masturbating. I had never seen or heard about this and was curious. He didn't believe me that I had never done it before.

After some instruction from him I started. Wow felt pretty good! He soon came and I was amazed again at what happened. I tried until we had to get up but to no avail...... no cum! (We also stroked each other,)

The next morning we did the same thing and he 'helped' me by sucking on it ..... that was another lesson learned! I still didn't cum but when he asked me to suck him, I was all in! He came and I did what was natural, and swallowed, not knowing anything different. I was hooked. This went on for a couple of days more of the same.

That Saturday, my uncle wasn't at work and he and my aunt 'slept' in. We could hear everything that was happening and I of course didn't know about sex at the time. The other lad described everything in detail to me as to what they were doing while I rubbed it out and lo and behold I came. What a thrill !!!!!!

The next day, the other lad and I sucked each other and he got me to cum that way also.
I've been hooked on sex, masturbation and sucking since ............. The first two in particular and occasionaly the sucking.
 
#68 ·
I guess I got started a bit young compared to some.
1) I was 10. The first time I remember I humped my pillow until I orgasmed. There was no ejaculate so the orgasm was a lot different then. I don't remember what age I started ejaculating and using my hand but it was maybe 6-12 months later about 11. I don't recall actually masturbating before that, but I looked at playboy and penthouse from about age 8 with sexual interest. I had teen friend/babysitter that that got me the magazines.
Add: The most embarrassing moment ever was when my mom walked in on me humping my pillow. She said, "What are you doing?" and played it off like she didn't know. I was mortified.
2) See #1
3) Mostly what I saw in magazines combined with fantasies of older girls I knew.
I'll add, first PIV sex at 14. First regular sexual relationship with a girlfriend at 16.
 
#69 ·
. very late eleven or early twelve

2. middle twelve*

3. was with my best buddy who was a year or so older than me. He taught me how and we were just talking about doing it and him telling me about ejaculating. He then ejaculated I was amazed .

*When I was about six months into doing it still with my friend and I hadn't ejaculated yet he said he had just the thing to make me "come" He then told me I had to promise never to tell anyone which I eagerly did. He then leaned over and gave me my first blowjob, sure enough it did he trick and in seconds I was having my first orgasm half in his mouth half by my hand as he was spitting it out. we got into a habit of "helping each other out after that" as we got a little older we just stopped doing either together.
 
#72 · (Edited)
1. How old were you when you first masturbated?

6 years old

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm?

11 years old

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating?

neighborhood girls I knew. Well, that was at age 11. At age 6 I was thinking about girls at school. Especially the glimpses of their panties. Those were cherished moments.
 
#75 ·
I masturbated to orgasm the first time at nine years of age. I had no idea of what sex was, but my mother had forced me to attend girl scout camp the summer after third grade, to help make me less shy. I fell madly in lust with my camp counselor, Daisy! I would insinuate my way next to her side during hikes, and hold her hand...she would politely unpeel me from her after a few minutes, LOL. When I would get home from camp every day, I would masturbate.

Upon completion, a deep shame would envelop me, but fortunately I outgrew that.
 
#76 ·
1. How old were you when you first masturbated? 11

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm? 11

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating? I just liked the sensation. I used a showerhead, but I don't remember what made me think of it. I liked playing with a garden hose outside too.;)
 
#78 ·
1.) 6

2.) Right then.

3.) Doubtful much of anything. I was copying my cousin who I saw furiously rubbing her beev with a throw pillow and seeming to enjoy it. I didn't know what it was for many years to come (pun welcomed) and finally realized what it was when I read the word orgasm in a cosmo of my moms years later.
 
#79 ·
1. How old were you when you first masturbated? Can't remember ... guessing 17

2. How old were you when you first masturbated to orgasm? Can't remember .... guessing 17

3. What were you thinking about while masturbating? Can't remember ... guessing my girlfriend


My first orgasms were wet dreams and I didn't know what it was. The first time I had an orgasm while awake, I was making out with my girlfriend at 17 years of age.

The first time I had sex, I was 16 and didn't cum. My previous girlfriend and I made out a ton but I never had an orgasm with her.

I think I didn't orgasm until 17 because I wasn't mature enough before then (not from lack of trying).

I don't remember my first masturbation because my first experiences were with a girl, not by myself. Guessing I started masturbating around the same time though.
 
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