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post #16 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:25 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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What about IUD's
Yes, what about a non hormonal IUD? Served us well.



Sigh, my wife gives me the speaking treatment.
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post #17 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:26 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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So every other birth control method except vasectomy is something you and your partner won't/can't do?
Pretty much. We're not closed minded or anything, just everything takes too much enjoyment out of it, feels unnatural, distracting and disconnecting.

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post #18 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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My exH had a vasectomy. His urologist used the laser method and it went very well. The procedure was outpatient and took about 25 minutes. The only mark left behind was a small pencil eraser sized spot of raw skin that healed up within 3 days. He said he ached for a day or so, but no actual pain. If you're sure you don't want any more kids, I think vasectomy is the way to go.

I had a friend who used the pull out method for years. He was so conditioned to pulling out, he had a difficult time ejaculating inside when he was trying to conceive with his partner. So, be aware that it might take some time before you can finish inside as a matter of routine.

Personally, I HATE the pull out method with the passion of 1000 fiery suns. It makes sex so...incomplete. Just when I'm at my most sensitive and the sensations are the most intense...WHAMMO! stimulation ends because he's pulled out. Gah!

Also, simultaneous orgasms are a thing. The pull out method pretty much guarantees no simultaneous orgasms.

Yeah, if other BC is unacceptable to you, get the vasectomy. It will change your life.
I'm not chicken of the surgery, but when I was considering it I was just recently divorced and chose to wait until I was on a new path before making it. Then last year I got my cancer diagnosis so the idea of getting any unnecessary surgeries was off the table.

As for the pullout method leaving a feeling of incompleteness, I guess that is what I'm really trying to figure out is the root cause or not. I don't think I'm "too" conditioned to be able to go back to finishing inside, after all when my ex had her tubal we always came simultaneously and it was great, but I've never experienced simultaneously ever since, even with condoms. Maybe a big part of me is just really missing that.

I'm pretty sure I know where I stand with the V, just have to discuss when an appropriate time is with my doctor.

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post #19 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Couples that use the pull-out method, are generally known as 'parents'.

I disagree, aside from abstinence altogether, when combined with the timing method it is the only foolproof method there is. The problem is there is less room for error if you don't follow perfect practice. I've been relying on it for most of my 25 year sexual history. I find what is most sad about this is that I'm able to follow perfect practice, when so much of that time my biology has been craving more mess.

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post #20 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Holy sh!t. I would NEVER use the pull out method as a viable birth control method. As Lurkster said, people that do that are called parents. There still can be sperm in the pre-ejaculate. Hello baby.
In a healthy male there should be no sperm in the pre-ejaculate, if there's any there it's either from edging to close and actually ejaculating a little or else it was leftover from round 1.

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post #21 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:57 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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I disagree, aside from abstinence altogether, when combined with the timing method it is the only foolproof method there is. The problem is there is less room for error if you don't follow perfect practice. I've been relying on it for most of my 25 year sexual history. I find what is most sad about this is that I'm able to follow perfect practice, when so much of that time my biology has been craving more mess.
Well.....good luck with that.....foolproof......hardly.
The list of people I know, including us, and many friends & relatives, says you are totally wrong.

I wave the BS flag!
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post #22 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 03:01 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Yes, what about a non hormonal IUD? Served us well.
She has spent years towards detoxifying and eating clean, avoiding metals and anything that wouldn't be incorporated into a body by natural organic exposure, so copper is most likely out, and obviously all the hormonal methods are out too. Honestly the V would be the best solution, I'm just wanting to establish where my unfulfillment is coming from, and after reading from some of you and introspecting for a long time I really do think it stems from always having to hold back a little and always forcing myself to exercise self control.

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Last edited by Lon; 01-09-2017 at 03:24 PM.
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post #23 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 03:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Well.....good luck with that.....foolproof......hardly.
The list of people I know, including us, and many friends & relatives, says you are totally wrong.

I wave the BS flag!
You can disagree if you want, but even Planned Parenthood states that when perfect practice is followed the withdrawal method is 96% effective (that is, 4% of couples that rely on this method alone will experience a pregnancy within one year). Which is right up there with condoms, especially if also using fertility awareness. My problem has to do with my psychological issues surrounding having pretty much relied on this my entire adult life.

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post #24 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 03:48 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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I admit there is likely a strong psychological barrier, but it's rooted in the fact that I know what happens when sperm meets ova. When my ex W had her tubes tied (was a unilateral decision on her part) that is when I've had the most uninhibited sex ever, it really was wonderful for a short while before she decided to exit the marriage. I suspect after a vasectomy I'd be a little cautious at first but in short order would probably come to trust it.
Doctors make it easy on you. For the first few months, you're supposed to use an alternate method of BC until the tanks and tubes are fully cleaned out, so to speak. You'll go back to the urologist with semen samples. The lab will check the samples for sperm. Once it's confirmed you are no longer firing live rounds, you'll be cleared for sex without back-up birth control. This means you'll have lab confirmation the vasectomy was successful and that should help you feel comfortable trusting it.

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You can disagree if you want, but even Planned Parenthood states that when perfect practice is followed the withdrawal method is 96% effective (that is, 4% of couples that rely on this method alone will experience a pregnancy within one year). Which is right up there with condoms, especially if also using fertility awareness. My problem has to do with my psychological issues surrounding having pretty much relied on this my entire adult life.
I have one Pill baby and one condom baby. Turns out, real world use of BC is less effective than lab studies. Who knew, eh?

Having spent countless hours researching, you are correct. The CDC and the WHO agree that the Fertility Awareness method is highly effective. In fact, used correctly, it is as effective as hormonal methods. The problem is user error. For Fertility Awareness to be effective, the woman must be educated on signs of fertility and diligent in her tracking methods. Most chart cervical position, cervical mucus, and body temperature to accurately predict ovulation and avoid unprotected sex on "dangerous days".

Knowing I'd utterly fail at charting, I just had a tubal instead.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #25 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 04:12 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Having spent countless hours researching, you are correct. The CDC and the WHO agree that the Fertility Awareness method is highly effective. In fact, used correctly, it is as effective as hormonal methods. The problem is user error. For Fertility Awareness to be effective, the woman must be educated on signs of fertility and diligent in her tracking methods. Most chart cervical position, cervical mucus, and body temperature to accurately predict ovulation and avoid unprotected sex on "dangerous days".
There are some women that also do not have an easy relationship with their own vaginas that would make doing so too awkward to be effective.

I mean we are talking about mucus here:





OMG Kristen Wiig is one of my favorite SNL characters.

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post #26 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 04:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Doctors make it easy on you. For the first few months, you're supposed to use an alternate method of BC until the tanks and tubes are fully cleaned out, so to speak. You'll go back to the urologist with semen samples. The lab will check the samples for sperm. Once it's confirmed you are no longer firing live rounds, you'll be cleared for sex without back-up birth control. This means you'll have lab confirmation the vasectomy was successful and that should help you feel comfortable trusting it.



I have one Pill baby and one condom baby. Turns out, real world use of BC is less effective than lab studies. Who knew, eh?

Having spent countless hours researching, you are correct. The CDC and the WHO agree that the Fertility Awareness method is highly effective. In fact, used correctly, it is as effective as hormonal methods. The problem is user error. For Fertility Awareness to be effective, the woman must be educated on signs of fertility and diligent in her tracking methods. Most chart cervical position, cervical mucus, and body temperature to accurately predict ovulation and avoid unprotected sex on "dangerous days".

Knowing I'd utterly fail at charting, I just had a tubal instead.
The problem with timing method, is that you have to avoid sex on not just the day of ovulation (assuming you could even pinpoint that) but the sperm can live for up to 5 days. Many women aren't like clockwork either, so add a few days safety factor plus at least 24 hours after during which the egg is viable and that's 9 or 10 days of the month that are off limits if using that method alone.

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post #27 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 04:54 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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There are some women that also do not have an easy relationship with their own vaginas that would make doing so too awkward to be effective.

I mean we are talking about mucus here:
Badsanta
Lord, if a woman is squeamish about her own cervical mucus, she'd have some real issues with the pregnancy and birth process. She'd die at the sight of the various hazardous wastes and fluids oozed by babies and toddlers.

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The problem with timing method, is that you have to avoid sex on not just the day of ovulation (assuming you could even pinpoint that) but the sperm can live for up to 5 days. Many women aren't like clockwork either, so add a few days safety factor plus at least 24 hours after during which the egg is viable and that's 9 or 10 days of the month that are off limits if using that method alone.
That's why I said "dangerous days".
Another forums I go to have had many lively discussions on FAM. Some of those ladies only have 3-5 days a month they feel safe having sex outside of during menstruation. Others only have 5-7 days a month where they don't feel safe. There are a few who have such wonky bodies they can't use FAM at all and only have sex when menstruating unless they're trying to conceive.

Just like all other methods of non-sterilization BC, FAM doesn't work for everyone.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #28 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 05:01 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Lord, if a woman is squeamish about her own cervical mucus, she'd have some real issues with the pregnancy and birth process. She'd die at the sight of the various hazardous wastes and fluids oozed by babies and toddlers.
OMG I remember my wife hanging out with some other moms all with newborns and somebody had something on their shirt:

PERSON 1: Is that chocolate on your shirt?

PERSON 2: (Takes some and tastes it) I don't know?

PERSON 3: Was that poo?

PERSON 2: Umm there is more over here!

PERSON 1: Definitely poo!

PERSON 2: Did I just taste poo?
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post #29 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 05:13 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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OMG I remember my wife hanging out with some other moms all with newborns and somebody had something on their shirt:

PERSON 1: Is that chocolate on your shirt?

PERSON 2: (Takes some and tastes it) I don't know?

PERSON 3: Was that poo?

PERSON 2: Umm there is more over here!

PERSON 1: Definitely poo!

PERSON 2: Did I just taste poo?
Run, do not walk, to the nearest urologist, OP! RUUUUN!

I once got a phone call to please come help a friend. He was alone with his children and fell asleep reading. The 3 and 5 year olds covered the furniture and carpet in a mix of syrup and powdered Nestle chocolate. The baby removed his diaper and covered himself, his toys, and his entire playpen in poo. Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean poo from mesh??

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #30 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 05:30 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Lord, if a woman is squeamish about her own cervical mucus, she'd have some real issues with the pregnancy and birth process. She'd die at the sight of the various hazardous wastes and fluids oozed by babies and toddlers.
Tell that to my wife.

Wont touch herself down there because its sticky and icky.

Found out she's less than enamored with semen as Im guessing its sticky and icky too.

Had no problem with any of that with our kids.

Yippee.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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