ejaculate inside - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 05:48 AM Thread Starter
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ejaculate inside

Sorry for the graphic thread title, but I've been in one of my depressive cycles these past few months and I've recently been unable to stop dwelling on this topic in my mind. I'm feeling quite unfulfilled and it's reminding me of all the other years/decades of my life when I've been unfulfilled. While it's not that sex itself is not fulfilling, and I don't really pressure myself to be one way or another, I try to take it organically, however all my life I've been fearful and reluctant of finishing inside my partner. In fact I've only ever done it with my first ever GF and my ex W, and no more than a dozen times (including the one time it took to conceive my child), I always finish outside. Mostly due to fear of unwanted pregnancy, because other birth control methods just haven't been something I or my partners have ever been fond of or could use.

So while I've mastered the art and science of the pullout method, so much of the time there is a part about sex that feels incomplete. My GF and I are completely open to discussing this, and have figured out some workarounds, such as during oral she will swallow sometimes (which has a much bigger emotional affect on me than when not). Neither of us want any more children, and both of us are against hormonal or chemical methods, and physical contraception has too many drawbacks for us. I'm not against a vasectomy at this point (a few years ago I was about to but wasn't 100% sure yet but now I am) I have just had so many other medical priorities this past year to deal with. In all of the few relationships I've had they have always become sexless and I find the joy of self-pleasuring myself is sometimes just more enjoyable than the worries that go along with a loving partner (not saying it's better, just that its so much easier and therapeutic), because I don't have to worry about the time of the month or hearing the infamous words "my period is late" again even though it always inevitably arrives a day or two later. This worry greatly reduces the frequency of sex in my relationships.

I guess I'm just concerned if it's just too long I've been like this... I am hoping that a vasectomy, after proven effective with testing, will help me shed some of the fear, but am I the only guy that has been so timid this way, is it that abnormal? And if there is any other men that have had similar hangups that later had the V done, did it help ease the overwhelming sense of responsibility that goes along with sex?

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post #2 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 08:09 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Originally Posted by Lon View Post
My GF and I are completely open to discussing this, and have figured out some workarounds, such as during oral she will swallow sometimes (which has a much bigger emotional affect on me than when not).
Between barrier methods (sponge, diaphragm, & condom), and the timing method (non-fertile times of the month), you should be able to have a more natural and full experience without just yet needing a vasectomy.

I know having sex during her period may seem awkward, but if you do not feel safe enough to finish inside at that time, you may have a strong psychological barrier that even a vasectomy will not remedy.
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post #3 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 08:37 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

So every other birth control method except vasectomy is something you and your partner won't/can't do?
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post #4 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 08:57 AM
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Cool Re: ejaculate inside

For as long that having children is no longer a viable issue, (i.e. you've reached your agreed-upon optimum number, don't desire to have any, et. al.,) I would highly advocate just going ahead and getting the vasectomy!

IMHO, from the male's standpoint, there's nothing quite as sexually fulfilling and pleasurable as unprotected PIV orgasm/release!

A good vasectomy would totally alleviate that fear of yours!

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Last edited by arbitrator; 01-09-2017 at 09:05 AM. Reason: Edification
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post #5 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 10:32 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

Not going to have anymore kids? Get a vasectomy. I did.
Not that big of a deal really.

Takes the worry out of what goes where!

Then, you'll probably discover that you want to and can come inside all the time, as there are no worries.
After a while, you'll decide that maybe outside would be fun now & then too.....you, and hopefully both of you, miss the show & the mess.

Ask me how I know that!
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post #6 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 10:47 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

If you are 100% sure you don't want anymore kids, get the vasectomy. There really isn't a drawback to it.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #7 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 11:25 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

My exH had a vasectomy. His urologist used the laser method and it went very well. The procedure was outpatient and took about 25 minutes. The only mark left behind was a small pencil eraser sized spot of raw skin that healed up within 3 days. He said he ached for a day or so, but no actual pain. If you're sure you don't want any more kids, I think vasectomy is the way to go.

I had a friend who used the pull out method for years. He was so conditioned to pulling out, he had a difficult time ejaculating inside when he was trying to conceive with his partner. So, be aware that it might take some time before you can finish inside as a matter of routine.

Personally, I HATE the pull out method with the passion of 1000 fiery suns. It makes sex so...incomplete. Just when I'm at my most sensitive and the sensations are the most intense...WHAMMO! stimulation ends because he's pulled out. Gah!

Also, simultaneous orgasms are a thing. The pull out method pretty much guarantees no simultaneous orgasms.

Yeah, if other BC is unacceptable to you, get the vasectomy. It will change your life.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #8 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 11:28 AM
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Re: ejaculate inside

Couples that use the pull-out method, are generally known as 'parents'.

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post #9 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:30 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Personally, I HATE the pull out method with the passion of 1000 fiery suns.


I'm so sorry MJJEAN, but I have been having trouble placing this meme, and I think I found just the right spot.

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post #10 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:37 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post
Personally, I HATE the pull out method with the passion of 1000 fiery suns.
I could not agree MORE with this. Except maybe with the passion of ten thousand fiery suns!

In fact I have been known to say -- "If you pull out now you are a dead man!!!"

Simultaneous orgasm is the way to go.

Last edited by Hope Shimmers; 01-19-2017 at 01:04 PM.
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post #11 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:39 PM
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Hey, I get it. My husband and I feel the same about it as you do. However, we have unprotected sex all the time and he never pulls out and there's no baby look up something called natural family planning. Bacically I chart my temp and cervical stuff each day so I learn when I'm fertile or not. We just avoid those few day a month and it's worked flawlessly. Pretty each to do actually
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post #12 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 01:50 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

Holy sh!t. I would NEVER use the pull out method as a viable birth control method. As Lurkster said, people that do that are called parents. There still can be sperm in the pre-ejaculate. Hello baby.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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post #13 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 01:54 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Holy sh!t. I would NEVER use the pull out method as a viable birth control method. As Lurkster said, people that do that are called parents. There still can be sperm in the pre-ejaculate. Hello baby.
There is a reason I know that to be true!
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post #14 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: ejaculate inside

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Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
Between barrier methods (sponge, diaphragm, & condom), and the timing method (non-fertile times of the month), you should be able to have a more natural and full experience without just yet needing a vasectomy.

I know having sex during her period may seem awkward, but if you do not feel safe enough to finish inside at that time, you may have a strong psychological barrier that even a vasectomy will not remedy.
Sponge and diaphragm we don't trust to be reliable enough, Condoms just don't work very well for me, I end up spending the whole time focussed on trying to keep it up and not losing it, the smell alone is a boner killer and we've tried other brands and materials just nothing works. Period sex is ok, she is very aroused at that time of month however she gets horrible cramps when we have sex at that time of the month which aggravates her back injury.

I admit there is likely a strong psychological barrier, but it's rooted in the fact that I know what happens when sperm meets ova. When my ex W had her tubes tied (was a unilateral decision on her part) that is when I've had the most uninhibited sex ever, it really was wonderful for a short while before she decided to exit the marriage. I suspect after a vasectomy I'd be a little cautious at first but in short order would probably come to trust it.

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post #15 of 40 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 02:23 PM
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Re: ejaculate inside

What about IUD's, the pill, and the like?
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