Sleep groping - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 11:39 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

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Why? Could it not also be interpreted as the ultimate sign of his attraction for you? That his attraction is so strong that his body responds even while he is unconscious?

Funny topic.
Ok sure, if this had happened a time or two, and he was fun and sexy about it even while fully asleep, I'd love it!

But my experience with people who act things out while they are fully asleep hasn't been very good. People can kick, punch, shove and grab you so hard they can leave bruises. They cannot respond to you, they do not know you exist, you are not "you", you are some dream image to them, and they have super human strength. It can be very frightening. If they speak to you, they are not speaking to "you". And they do not act in rational ways, because they are dreaming, so even what could be a nice grope, if he's totally asleep, it can quickly turn into a shove or a punch or a squeeze so hard you leap out of bed. Because he wouldn't know what he was doing nor be able to gauge your reaction in the least. You can't mess around with someone who has super human strength and absolutely no sense of reality.

I require enough consciousness being present to understand consent.

But as I said...if I had experienced my boyfriend in a fully asleep state just sexily touching and groping me, sure, that would be fun.

I had one experience with an ex, where we both apparently slipped into a sex dream about each other and both went for each other at the same time in our sleep! We woke up having sex! We were both stunned! It was really fun because it was so odd and different, and it was like what you said about our bodies just going at each other without us even having to be involved...so it felt really primal and sexual. That did not happen exactly like that ever again, but there were a few times when he said I started climbing on top of him in my sleep, he didn't discourage me and was willing to participate, but he said once I got up there I just passed out on top of him all dead weight. Not too sexy by then, ha! And there were a couple of times he did something of the same thing to me...came after me with a night erection seemingly just awake and initiating sex, but when I started responding and trying to kiss him he was essentially dead weight again.

He actually also grabbed my wrist once while he was dreaming about something random and he almost broke it. He had no idea. It was scary. That only happened once, thank god.

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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 06:05 AM
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Re: Sleep groping

When in my twenties, we would wake up having full on sex. Never sure who instigated it. According to one TV documentary its not that uncommon.
I might add though that I was a sleep walker as a child and that's very common.


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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 06:16 AM
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Re: Sleep groping

My wife was a sleep walker & talker; i once had an argument (must have been 15+ years ago) with her because i took something from her drawer (I think it was a floppy disk. So must have been long time ago). She was very worked up about it and gave me 50 million reasons why it was so wrong of me to take it out of her drawer in the middle of the night and i felt very guilty and ashamed of myself the whole night. Next morning she didn't remember any of it and i realised her eyes weren't actually open when she was shouting at me. She sleep-shamed me.
I do sometimes grope her in my sleep. But she shouldn't take it as a compliment; I also groped my sister and one of my best (male) friend once I had to sleep in close proximity to them. My friend assured me I was a gentle "groper" the next morning.


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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:32 AM
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Re: Sleep groping

My husband is a major sleep talker. He will also get up and start doing things such as open drawers. He is never awake, and never remembers.

We always spoon to sleep, and he often sleep gropes me which I enjoy. Even when asleep he seems aware of me. Such as if I cough, I can feel his arm lift slightly off me to give me room to breathe. It's just a reaction, and he doesn't even know he does it.

He also does funny stuff like kiss me on the forehead and tell me happy birthday.

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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:40 AM
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Re: Sleep groping

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My husband is a major sleep talker. He will also get up and start doing things such as open drawers. He is never awake, and never remembers.

We always spoon to sleep, and he often sleep gropes me which I enjoy. Even when asleep he seems aware of me. Such as if I cough, I can feel his arm lift slightly off me to give me room to breathe. It's just a reaction, and he doesn't even know he does it.

He also does funny stuff like kiss me on the forehead and tell me happy birthday.

Sooo.... How old are you now?

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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Sleep groping

Haha this is all fascinating to me. I never knew it was a thing. I always sleep soundly and don't move an inch.

Except for one time. I was having sleep trouble and was prescribed Ambien. I was taking half a pill a night. Well one night I took a full one for some reason and fell asleep. Well I apparently turned into a sex fiend. Came on to my husband and we had crazy rough sex. And I was telling him to be rough. Ordering him to do it harder.

When I woke up, he told me about it. I didn't remember a thing, it was actually really creepy. He had no idea I wasn't conscious. My eyes were open and everything. I seemed to really enjoy myself.

I Googled it after, it's apparently a weird side effect from the Ambien. I think they need a warning on the label. "Beware, this could turn you into a sex fiend"
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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 01:08 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

my wife says I have done it off and on years. Even a few times she says we have had full on PIV sex and I never knew it! I now take ambien and most nights she says I don't move once I go to sleep.
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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 01:29 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

When you are asleep, it is the subconscious mind that is dominant. It is his subconscious mind that is fondling you. What a deal. You now have two men to love, the conscious hunk and the subconscious mystery man. And, you get to love both with moral certitude.
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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 01:38 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

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When you are asleep, it is the subconscious mind that is dominant. It is his subconscious mind that is fondling you. What a deal. You now have two men to love, the conscious hunk and the subconscious mystery man. And, you get to love both with moral certitude.
If she's having sex with his unconscious self, who is heretofore defined as a "second man" as per your post, then she's cheating on her husband and that could be considered grounds for divorce, depending on how he feels about it. If she is a woman of honest and moral character, she would refuse the advances of his unconscious self.
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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 01:56 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

I've never been sleep groped, but my current partner and I (when I sleep at his place) will fall asleep while spooning, and sometimes he will like to hold one of my boobs in his hand while we spoon. But his hand goes slack and he lets go as soon as he falls asleep. Eventually, one (or both) of us will roll over to sleep apart. But he eventually rolls back into spooning position and reaches out to pull me back in, even though we're both still asleep.

It makes me wonder if he reaches for me when I'm not there...

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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 02:39 PM
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Cool Re: Sleep groping

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I have groped my W at night unknowingly. My W has groped me unknowingly. Sometime we grope the other when fully awake and the other is asleep. :smile2
I guess that for the immediate time being, still being single and all, that I'll just have to make do with "groping myself" in those long, lonely, wee hours of the morning

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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 02:56 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

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I guess that for the immediate time being, still being single and all, that I'll just have to make do with "groping myself" in those long, lonely, wee hours of the morning
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 03:21 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

Wow, some women actually think that "sleep groping" is actually molesting and being violated. I think I've heard practically everything now! Are men actually permitted to touch their wives?? Who the **** knows??

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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 03:30 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

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Wow, some women actually think that "sleep groping" is actually molesting and being violated. I think I've heard practically everything now! Are men actually permitted to touch their wives?? Who the **** knows??
If a guy goes to jail for it he only has to serve his time at night. When he's asleep of course.
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 03:50 PM
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Re: Sleep groping

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Wow, some women actually think that "sleep groping" is actually molesting and being violated. I think I've heard practically everything now! Are men actually permitted to touch their wives?? Who the **** knows??
My partner and I were talking about consent recently, and he occasionally asks me jokingly if he has my permission to do this or that. I told him that he always has my consent until I explicitly state otherwise, including while I am asleep.

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