How do couples with different sex drives make it work? I'm jealous of the women whose husband's don't leave them alone.
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I got divorced then found a man with a HD. No other viable option unless you are Ok with settling for a sexless life.How do couples with different sex drives make it work? I'm jealous of the women whose husband's don't leave them alone.
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There are actually case studies of this, where an individual will try to "impress" their ideal partner and be somebody that they are actually not. All relationships begin this way to a certain degree, but inevitably a person will eventually "be themself" later in the relationship once things are more secure.The biggest concern I would have is exactly what @arbitrator mentioned, the good ole bait & switch, where someone acts as a higher drive person at the start of the relationship b/c they know that is what is needed to keep the other person interested.
Well of COURSE it doesn't make sense to the LD! You will physically DIE without food or water. You will NOT physically die without sex!Me: male HD, Wife LD/reactive desire.
25 year marriage.
Do not let the LD know that you need sex as much as you need food or water. Even if you told them it would make no sense to them, so stop. It's useless.
Coming from an LD point of view, *I* can use the same analogy.C: Trying to explain what sex for a HD is like to a LD is difficult. Nothing is quite the same. One more try: imagine that social norms required you to eat the same foods as your partner. Now imagine that your partner is only willing to eat McDonalds hamburgers and salads, no sauce, dressing etc, and vitamins as needed. Nothing else ever. You can live on that (baring some very long term health effects). Your are wealthy enough to eat whatever you want, around you people are eating apples, drinking fresh orange juice, chocolate, steaks etc. All you get year after year is McDonalds. They don't understand why anyone would eat anything else.
Here is a link to a thread that might be helpful for you.How do couples with different sex drives make it work? I'm jealous of the women whose husband's don't leave them alone.
Let's talk about the real stuff, okay?
Let's start with this:
1. Negotiate minimum frequency to satisfy both partners. We came up with twice a week. Tuesdays and Friday. A minimum sex frequency was mandatory or I was gone.
2. HD must stop talking about sex, stop asking for sex even on the scheduled sex days. Do not let the LD know that you need sex as much as you need food or water. Even if you told them it would make no sense to them, so stop. It's useless.
3. HD should stop all groping and minimize physical contact outside of scheduled sex days.
4. HD must find something else in his or her life to replace their constant desire for sex and never let the LD know they are unhappy with their sex life.
Let's see, threats, compromise, don't talk about it, and don't admit to a problem. Gosh, why wouldn't that work?
Actually, no; I didn't describe anything that a person should do. As I said before, there is no push button solution; if there was, you would already have found it.describing a variety of sexual things that an LD Person who isn't interested in sex should do.
The bolded is really the sad part of it all ...I have bought a really good sex toy and use it when I'm really in the mood. This way, I don't pester Mrs.CuddleBug for sex and get the "eyes rolling" or "sigh" etc. response.
Mrs.CuddleBug is LD and conservative.
I am HD and adventurous.
There is no easy way to make sexually mismatched couples happy. What usually happens is the HD spouse does all the comprising while the LD spouse does little to nothing.
Just the way it is.