....I have decided that I am not going to tolerate some things that I did in past relationships. Things such as low drive, having to teach my partner how to make love, communication and jealousy.
.....he seemed to be on the same sexual level as me and he seemed like and overall great man.
....Beyond my better judgement, I decided to give him a chance and the sex was just terrible.
Now I am sitting here debating if I should give him a 3rd chance to live up to my expectations. I just think that he wont because he seemed very insecure in himself, and I just do not want to deal with an emotionally unstable man at this point. Then I think about how he first came off to me and how I could possibly steer him in the right direction if I put some real effort into him.
I am just thinking out loud really.
Anyone have an input?....
I want you to read the above, but from the perspective of a man. Then think about what you communicated above. If your date or any future date ever gets a hint of what you said (and your body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. probably will convey the message) they won't want to date you.
First, each and every human being responds to foreplay and sexual stimulation differently. Your saying you aren't going to bother to teach him is basically saying. Hey I am available for an adult version of 20-questions, but you had better guess right on all of the questions or I am kicking you out of the bed.
Seriously, some women prefer being held, some having their feet rubbed, some having their neck and shoulders rubbed, prior to more intimate touching. Some women love to have their breasts and nipple stimulated and others don't. There is no "one size fits all" foreplay routine. You really do have to do a bit of instruction on your preferences.
Second, sex should be fun and playful. That means that sometimes the sex will be great and sometimes it will be a disaster that you both laugh about. I feel sorry for the poor folks to whom each sex act is huge deal. That sets up performance anxiety for both you and your lover. That sure will dampen things down a bit.
Third, your first sexual experience with him "...was just terrible...." I'll bet when he left he knew how you felt. Do you remember when you lost your virginity? Was it a great "the earth moved and I was in bliss moment?" For most of us it was so, so at best. The reason is that sex like anything requires a degree of practice and familiarity with your partner. You wouldn't expect to play great doubles tennis with someone you had just met and got on the court together for the first time would you?
Finally, I will agree with one of the others who commented before me. You are not ready for a serious relationship yet so don't try to impose those standards on the people you are dating. You need some time to heal, clear you soul, and become less needy and demanding. Until then, if you must satisfy your needs, go look for a stud who f-you, not someone who "...seemed like an(d) overall great man...."
But if you do that, watch out for those bonding hormones as they do quickly create the illusion of love.