I don't judge people by how they perform in bed. I am attracted by their integrity, kindness, moral values, self control, how they treat me etc. If those things are right, then I have no worries about the sex later on.
I do judge them because for me it matters and does make a difference between having meh sex versus wow.
I will also add it isn't an either or proposition, lots of people who "do great sex"and will have it at the beginning of a sexual relationship also have integrity, kindness, moral values and self control, such things really aren't mutually exclusive.
For people like my wife and I, we feel that investing our hearts in a sexual relationship with someone we discover we are loathe to have sex with, is wasting time barking up the wrong tree.
Hence why we prefer to test drive sexual partners early, when looking for sexual partners.
Good loving sex isnt based on how we 'perform' but how we express love to each other, its something we work on and improve as time goes by.
You can love somebody until the cows come home, yet that in itself can't make the sex any better if you and your partner don't work well sexually, or if one of you are inept at it.
At the end of the day anybody can draw, yet no matter how much they practice most people aren't going to draw as well as me. Some people appreciate stick figure drawing, while others don't like anything that is nothing but a work of art, or at the very least a snazzy illustration.
Likewise Some of us have higher sexual expectations and some of us have lesser ones. Neither are right or wrong, all that matters is what works for you.
If a man wants to have sex after a very short time, then that would put me off completely.
Which is what dating is all about, if you don't want to have sex in a short time and the other person does you are not compatible. Likewise for my wife and I, anyone who waits a long time for sex would put us off completely.
A young lady I know was dating a guy and after only a few dates was pressuring her into sex. Despite the fact that she told him that she wasn't ready, that she didnt want sex until or if they were really serious and committed, he still kept on despite saying that he respected her for her stand. Thankfully she got fed up with the pressure and ended it.
Good for her, evidently they didn't want the same thing. That being the case it is a complete waste of time for either of them to press on to no end or worse a miserable end.
I've had sex with plenty of women, turned down a decent number of others as well and have been married twice.
My first wife saw me at a party and asked a friend to ask me to talk to her. Shortly after that she asked me to kiss her, after a few hours of talking and snogging she asked me to have sex with her, so we then had sex.
Between my first wife and my second (current) wife. I have been with various women of whom most of them asked me out on dates and or offered me sex. The norm for me was sex on the first or second date, with no particular pressure from me, it just tended to be a mutual we can't keep our hands and mouths off of each other which quickly led to sex. Or they'd simply say something like, "do you want to have sex?".
In my experience if a woman viscerally wants to have sex with you, it's a bit hard to miss. So pressure really isn't a thing, she either wants to or not and you either want to or not. Then if you are both on the same page get on with it. If you aren't on the same page then the following works, "it was fun, but I'm/we aren't feeling it, so we won't drag this out any further".
My second wife met me at work and despite seeing another guy was keen on me, so after about a week of talking at her instigation, she asked me out on a lunchtime date.
Which we then followed with an evening date on the same day, where we watched a movie together and had a feed. Then at her invitation went back to her place and snogged a lot, talked a lot more, then fell asleep in her bed without having sex.
She then dumped the other guy and after a few days, we went on another date, which ended in her asking me to have sex with her. So we ended up having sex on our third date.
Following on from that I have now happily been with my current wife for almost 21 years, while also having been married to her for almost 18 years, through having two children as well that are 16 (boy) and 13 (girl). Throughout our relationship we have enjoyed a terrific life together, inclusive of a smorgasbord of tremendous and ever frequent sex as well.
Throughout our time together we haven't experienced marital infidelity a sexless marriage or compatibility issues. Plus we've also been raising two academically accomplished, very fit and happy children. All while also contributing positively to society as well.
Yet heaven forbid we had sex early (and still think it's the best way) and don't need to be in love with someone to enjoy sex (that said liking the person does help).
The thing is where I come from, having sex early for many if not most people, has been the norm throughout my life as an adult. Plenty of us are fine with it, while some others aren't. As far as I'm concerned if it's adult and consenting, go for it "but you might smudge your lipstick".
If you want to wait, WAIT! If you don't want to wait, DON'T!