50 shades of grey on valentines day - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 09:42 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

My wife is going with a couple of her friends to see it tonight. There were good results after she saw the other one....
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post #32 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 10:07 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

This sums up my thoughts perfectly....




Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #33 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 10:39 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

I wonder why this particular movie / book succeeded. I haven't read but other people have indicated that the writing isn't very good and it doesn't portray BDSM well.

Of course its quite possible that what is desirable in *fantasy* BDSM is very different from what is desirable in *real* BDSM. This isn't really surprising - a movie about real espionage wouldn't be as much fun as a Bond movie.
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post #34 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 10:47 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

It succeeded because there is/was an overall wave of more open sexuality spreading among us as we shake off the shackles of our puritan ancestors. This particular book was helpful because it helped a lot of people imagine something new in that realm, even if what they imagined was not really true as far as BDSM reality. There were many other books, movies, websites and mass consciousness shifts that all occurred in the past 10 years, but which began much earlier.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #35 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 10:54 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

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It succeeded because there is/was an overall wave of more open sexuality spreading among us as we shake off the shackles of our puritan ancestors. This particular book was helpful because it helped a lot of people imagine something new in that realm, even if what they imagined was not really true as far as BDSM reality. There were many other books, movies, websites and mass consciousness shifts that all occurred in the past 10 years, but which began much earlier.
People had shaken off those shackles long ago. I think its sad that such an awful badly written book and film were so popular.
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post #36 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 11:33 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

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I wonder why this particular movie / book succeeded. I haven't read but other people have indicated that the writing isn't very good and it doesn't portray BDSM well.

Of course its quite possible that what is desirable in *fantasy* BDSM is very different from what is desirable in *real* BDSM. This isn't really surprising - a movie about real espionage wouldn't be as much fun as a Bond movie.
It started out as fan fiction. It's based on Twilight. She started writing it on one of those fan fiction sites and it took off. She had thousands of readers waiting for the next installment. I'm not sure if she decided to put in book form or if she was approached by the publisher.
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post #37 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 11:34 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

I don't know if that is true. A lot of people seem to have fantasies about various forms of sexual coercion. Some want to keep it as pure fantasy, others find it fun to act out those fantasies in a safe situation.

The popularity of movies like this, and of light bondage gear in mainstream sex shops suggests that this is pretty common.

I think you are right that some abused people may develop an unhealthy interest in this as a result of their abuse, but I don't think its a majority.


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As I see it, the need to hurt or be hurt to get aroused often shows that the person is sexually scarred and damaged.
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post #38 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 11:43 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

Speaking as a moderator:
@BradWesley2, that is enough.

Continuing this unwelcome line of questioning will result in a ban.

Be cordial, folks.

"Our ability to feel joy is directly related to how much pain we are willing to feel." - Mavash.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
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post #39 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 01:54 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

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Speaking as a moderator:
@BradWesley2, that is enough.

Continuing this unwelcome line of questioning will result in a ban.

Be cordial, folks.
Thank you. I wasn't going to answer such a crude question anyway.
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post #40 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 04:12 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

I heard it's gash... people were bursting out laughing.... it might have a positive effect though....

i'll be following some of the ideas from this article... and who know maybe 10 out of 50 shades....
https://www.buzzfeed.com/gorzauni/ro...as-for-c-2sfg0
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post #41 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-12-2017, 01:37 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

I have heard the movie isn't very good (50 Shades, not the new one). Neither myself or my wife have seen the original and I don't see us watching the new one either. I did enjoy 9 1/2 Weeks back when it came out, but just don't have an interest in these new ones.

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post #42 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-12-2017, 03:00 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

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As I see it, the need to hurt or be hurt to get aroused often shows that the person is sexually scarred and damaged.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm picking on you. I am picking out your comments because they reveal a lack of awareness of the broad range of human sexuality, not to mention the judgemental narrow minded attitude about sex.

We, human beings, don't know exactly why some things arouse while other things don't. Trauma may or may not have something to do with sexual fetishes but trauma also impacts many other areas of our lives.

Are people who are afraid of heights reacting to a previous trauma?
Are people who dig bungee jumping reacting to previous trauma?

Maybe to both questions. The point is being afraid or being totally into it are all on the spectrum of normal human experience.

I dig lots of kinky stuff and I also have a history of sexual trauma. But my enjoyment of kinky stuff couldn't get beyond a very tightly held secret until AFTER, I healed from the trauma. Which shoots your theory all to hell. Not only that but there are LOTS of kinky people who have zero history of sexual trauma.

We just are and just aren't.

Are we crazy or are you a prude?

Maybe both, maybe neither.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry


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post #43 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-12-2017, 03:17 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

I refused to read the books until the price dropped significantly and it took a long while for that to happen. Prior to reading those books I had been reading, writing, and editing BDSM type erotica for a few years. News flash: none of it is good writing! LOL!

It's not meant to be anything more than scintillating, and it succeeded for a lot of women.

When I finally read the books, kindle sale all three for $9, I wasn't impressed with the eroticism at all. I was expecting to be aroused at least a little. Nothing. It wasn't until book 2 that the story became interesting and by the end of book 3 I got a headache from rolling my eyes too much.

BDSM was actually a plot devise and it was poorly used. Consent was sought, limits were discussed, safewords were issued and there was one spanking scene. That was the extent of BDSM in all 3 books! It really was nothing more than a cheesy romance that used props from BDSM. That's it.

When the movie came out, I saw it and wasn't impressed. The guy who plays Christian Grey was awful! But I thought Dakota Johnson was adorable. The music....the music was HOT!

Ya'll are making a mountain out of a mole hill. I got more aroused watch James Bond, with Daniel Craig.

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry


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post #44 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 06:14 PM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

So the wife and I went to see 50 Shades Dumber yesterday.

No plot. Seriously, zero plot. At a couple of points I thought there might BE a plot, but they let those moments go completely to hell and didn't develop the story at all. Continuation of bad acting and poor dialogue. Not erotic in the slightest, and the soundtrack was off-putting. Timing the thrusting to crescendos in the music? Seriously?

Best things I can say about it are that they made Dakota shave her legs this time, and they had an awesome Falcon Crest moment with Kim Basinger.

Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me! --- Sebastian
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post #45 of 55 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 07:58 AM
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Re: 50 shades of grey on valentines day

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The first movie was also released on Valentine's day the year it came out and my ex-h and I went to it that night. I had not read the book but had a pretty good idea of it because I read so much ABOUT the book. I'm not into the BDSM type of stuff portrayed in the movie, but I am kinky and wanted to see it...even knowing it would be totally stupid (and it was). It was a fun date. We had great sex afterwards though we would have anyway. I would never ever read the books now that I saw the movie, but I'm not sorry I saw the movie. It was amusing and like I said, a good date night.

This year I don't have a date. I might go see the new one with a girlfriend if one is interested. Mostly to make fun of how wrong everything is.
Let me know when you make one of those Youtube videos called, "Everything Wrong with 50 Shades Darker in under 20 Minutes." Because I really enjoy that kind of stuff!

In one of my books I read about sex, a PHD researcher was rather upset about these movies because in many scenarios the concept of sexual nonconcurrence is portrayed as "this is as good as it gets!" As in one loosing all control of their sexual response without inherently even being aroused by something mentally.

I have not seen any of these movies, nor read the book. But I have to imagine that it comes across like this one scene in "Masters of Sex" season three where this wife is desperate to make love to her paralyzed husband. Masters and Johnson did some research and showed her the possible ways to make her husband's body still respond sexually and even get a viable erection for sex. The problem was is that he had no control over this, nor any physical enjoyment, and it was just emotionally challenging for him to witness his wife really getting off on that.

...anyway, hope you find a date!

Cheers,
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