Sexless - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 21Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2
Sexless

I have been with my partner for 16 years and, for the last 7 we have not had any type of intimacy or physical contact. Recently she has been a little to close to one of her coworkers. I looked at her phone and it showed that he is the most frequent called number. He has a girlfriend, but she lives 3 hours from him. On New Years Eve he called her phone at 12:14am. I saw it in her history and when I asked her about it she said she didn't see a missed call from him. It has taken me all of 3 weeks to finally get her to admit that she saw the missed call. Now I am having some serious trust issues knowing that she not only lied to me, but tried to make it look like I was crazy. Any advise? Right now I just feel broken!
lostsoul4sure is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 04:59 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,918
Re: Sexless

Why is it that you have not been intimate for that long?
If it is because she doesn't want it, then maybe its time to ask her if she wants you to stay together or not, with that and the OM.
Diana7 is offline  
post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 04:59 PM
Member
 
bankshot1993's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: alberta
Posts: 252
Re: Sexless

Only one question because it will come up, why are you still married when you haven't had physical relations in 7 years?

I'm not saying this to be smart ass, I'm asking as sometimes there is a valid reason and there are other ways that couples compensate for it. It would be a waste of time to go looking for physical infidelity if your wife isn't capable of being intimate.

Our lives are a novel and we, the authors. if you don't like the story line, only you have the power to change it.
bankshot1993 is offline  
post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 05:00 PM
Member
 
badsanta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Southpole!
Posts: 3,251
Re: Sexless

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul4sure View Post
for the last 7 we have not had any type of intimacy or physical contact.
Seven years of no sex or physical contact? Ummmm I'm not sure I would even call that a marriage. More like roommates or just friends.

New problems aside, why have you allowed so much time to pass without intimacy?
badsanta is online now  
post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 05:09 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Sexless

It's rather odd that you dismiss the 7 years of no sex and focus on the possibility that she's in contact with some guy.

To quote one of my favorite metaphors, it's like you're wondering if you should put something under one of the legs on a dining room table on the Titanic because it's wobbling a bit.
browser is offline  
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 05:10 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2
Re: Sexless

Honestly... This is the question I have been asking myself for the last 7 years.
lostsoul4sure is offline  
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 05:18 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 1,456
Re: Sexless

Which question? The one about the dining room table on the Titanic or whether she's cheating on you or why there's no sex?

If it's the last one why haven't you brought it up to her in the past 7 years?
browser is offline  
post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 05:23 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,918
Re: Sexless

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul4sure View Post
Honestly... This is the question I have been asking myself for the last 7 years.

Have you never talked about it in 7 years??????
Diana7 is offline  
post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 08:09 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6,306
Sexless

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul4sure View Post
Honestly... This is the question I have been asking myself for the last 7 years.


That's a question you should be asking your wife. Tonight.

But really. If you don't know the answer already, WTF have you been doing for seven years?
225985 is offline  
post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 08:37 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 408
Re: Sexless

I can relate to the OP. It's a tough question to ask your wife. You want your wife to genuinely want you. She's rejected you or starfished you a few times, which cut you deep. You want to make love to this woman you love, but you want to wait until she's ready. It'll just be a few more weeks or months, after all. You know you can probably pressure her into it, but then she'd be doing it under duress and it doesn't "count." It's not the "real thing." Her compliance wouldn't even be fun or meaningful. So you're hesitant to bring the subject up--you just keep hoping she'll come around and demonstrate that she genuinely wants you.

OP, you need to consider the possibility that your wife is involved in an affair with this co-worker. It might be wise for you do a little investigation. Look at the phone bill--how many texts does she send? How many calls to and from this number? Does she drive to work? If so, put a VAR (voice-activated recorder) in her car to record phone conversations she has in her car. If you confront her with your suspicions of an affair before you have evidence, she'll just hide it better and you'll never know.

You need to get on this right away. You don't want to be coming back here next year to post the same issue.
Tatsuhiko is online now  
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 08:53 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,891
Re: Sexless

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostsoul4sure View Post
Honestly... This is the question I have been asking myself for the last 7 years.
Answer it and gtfo
Herschel is online now  
post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 09:00 PM
Member
 
Holdingontoit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: In the woods
Posts: 1,384
Re: Sexless

Please be reassured that a lousy sex life is, by itself, more than sufficient reason to divorce even if every other aspect of the marriage is excellent. Which is rarely the case.

do not feel guilty. Do not feel that you are forsaking your vows. Your spouse is forsaking HER vows by not having sex with you regularly and ensuring you are satisfied. What do you think "to have and to hold" means? You agree to forsake all others precisely because each of you agrees to have and hold the other. She has failed and refused to do so. You are absolved of your vows.

Go forth and seek a partner who is willing to live up to her vows. If your wife tries to guilt you into staying with her, tell her that she needed to maintain her vows to you years ago if she hoped to hold you to yours.

When you can see it coming, duck!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Holdingontoit is offline  
post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 08:27 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: new england usa
Posts: 327
Re: Sexless

nip it in the bud. Valentines day is coming up. Make it a very romantic/sexual day for her, and snap her the heck out of whatever she was thinking!
Talker67 is offline  
post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 09:09 AM
Member
 
41362's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 308
Re: Sexless

7 years!?!?

Flamethrower + Marriage License = Happiness

My story:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
41362 is offline  
post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 05:55 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Hudson Valley, New York State
Posts: 636
Re: Sexless

If I had gone 7 days without sex I would have launched a major investigation.

But Original Poster, you said you were asking yourself that question for 7 years. Why weren't you asking your wife? Or, did you ask your wife? And what was her answer?

Until you answer the question of why you two were not intimate for those 7 years there is little use in pursuing why she's interested in another man.
WilliamM is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Unexpected end of sexless marriage after three years- hope? wifey82 Sex in Marriage 5 06-23-2017 07:44 PM
Sexless marriage Rhapsodee The Ladies' Lounge 13 08-27-2016 10:54 PM
Sexless Marriage: It's low love, not low drive MachoMcCoy General Relationship Discussion 66 04-20-2016 03:49 PM
Considering a sexless marriage aerodynamic Sex in Marriage 61 01-19-2016 12:40 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome