Porn over sex - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:22 PM
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Re: Porn over sex

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Here's a question for the boys. Why would you chose porn over your wife when she's home and willing?

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Well the nicest reason I can think of it fear and inadequacy. Like maybe he doesn't feel like he is that good?

The more likely reason is laziness. What is the porn use like?

The most painful is that he is not attracted. Though I doubt that.

Low testosterone.

Maybe he is gay?

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-28-2017 at 11:17 AM. Reason: changed name on quote as account name changed
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post #17 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:25 PM
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Re: Porn over sex

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Here's a question for the boys. Why would you chose porn over your wife when she's home and willing?

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NO.

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-28-2017 at 11:16 AM. Reason: changed name on quote as account name changed
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post #18 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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Well the nicest reason I can think of it fear and inadequacy. Like maybe he doesn't feel like he is that good?

The more likely reason is laziness. What is the porn use like?

The most painful is that he is not attracted. Though I doubt that.

Low testosterone.

Maybe he is gay?
Definitely not low t and gay. I'm hoping it's him just feeling lazy now and again.

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post #19 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:37 PM
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Re: Porn over sex

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I think the emotional pain mentioned above could explain half, but why is he experiencing emotional pain? I feel like there is only half the story here, there is a reason he is doing that
He just realized Jr Bacon's are no longer on the dollar menu!
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post #20 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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Just from my own experience as a husband, do you have specific things you argue about on a consistent basis? Issues from the past that someone won't drop? Consistent conflict or something he is often mentioning that bothers him and is unresolved? Fear of a pregnancy he doesn't feel ready for? Any and all of these things can lead to a gradual disinterest in sex, out of frustration or insecurity with the relationship.
We're in the middle of moving provinces. So probably the stress of that. Definitely no more babies for us!

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post #21 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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He just realized Jr Bacon's are no longer on the dollar menu!
He's more of a McDonald's man
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Originally Posted by pag1617 View Post
Just from my own experience as a husband, do you have specific things you argue about on a consistent basis? Issues from the past that someone won't drop? Consistent conflict or something he is often mentioning that bothers him and is unresolved? Fear of a pregnancy he doesn't feel ready for? Any and all of these things can lead to a gradual disinterest in sex, out of frustration or insecurity with the relationship.

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post #22 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 10:59 PM
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Re: Porn over sex

So you say it is improving, improving from what and why did it need improving?

Next I hate to ask this but how long does it take for you to reach orgasm. How long do you expect the sex to be? I know this is kinda selfish and not saying I agree but maybe he feels like he doesn't have the energy to get you off but he want's his endorphin fix and he doesn't want to basically use you for it. In his mind he is being unselfish. He can help himself out very fast just so he can relax. That is the thing with us, we can usually get the job done pretty fast if we want to. Still get the same "hit" as they say.

You should talk to him about this, this is the kind of thing you talk about when you have a good sex life. Hard stuff like this, no pun intended.
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post #23 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 11:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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So you say it is improving, improving from what and why did it need improving?

Next I hate to ask this but how long does it take for you to reach orgasm. How long do you expect the sex to be? I know this is kinda selfish and not saying I agree but maybe he feels like he doesn't have the energy to get you off but he want's his endorphin fix and he doesn't want to basically use you for it. In his mind he is being unselfish. He can help himself out very fast just so he can relax. That is the thing with us, we can usually get the job done pretty fast if we want to. Still get the same "hit" as they say.

You should talk to him about this, this is the kind of thing you talk about when you have a good sex life. Hard stuff like this, no pun intended.
Our sex life was terrible for a while. He doesn't show interest I guess? He says he's not a sexual person (no dirty picures, no sexting, no sexual innuendos). I like doing those things. sex with both of us coming takes ten minutes max. It shouldn't be performance anxiety because it's rare that I don't cum. I guess I feel left out because he decided to hide it from me while I was still in the house. I wouldn't care if I'd been out doing something or unavailable.

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post #24 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 11:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
So you say it is improving, improving from what and why did it need improving?

Next I hate to ask this but how long does it take for you to reach orgasm. How long do you expect the sex to be? I know this is kinda selfish and not saying I agree but maybe he feels like he doesn't have the energy to get you off but he want's his endorphin fix and he doesn't want to basically use you for it. In his mind he is being unselfish. He can help himself out very fast just so he can relax. That is the thing with us, we can usually get the job done pretty fast if we want to. Still get the same "hit" as they say.

You should talk to him about this, this is the kind of thing you talk about when you have a good sex life. Hard stuff like this, no pun intended.
It's improving because we've had three pregnancies close together and all were surprises. That tires people out lol. He's been snipped and has a zero sperm count now so the fear of pregnancy is gone now

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post #25 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 11:11 PM
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Re: Porn over sex

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Our sex life was terrible for a while. He doesn't show interest I guess? He says he's not a sexual person (no dirty picures, no sexting, no sexual innuendos). I like doing those things. sex with both of us coming takes ten minutes max. It shouldn't be performance anxiety because it's rare that I don't cum. I guess I feel left out because he decided to hide it from me while I was still in the house. I wouldn't care if I'd been out doing something or unavailable.

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Well that is just sad. What was he using to get off if he doesn't look at dirty pictures?

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-28-2017 at 11:16 AM. Reason: changed name on quote as account name changed
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post #26 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-26-2017, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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Well that is just sad. What was he using to get off if he doesn't look at dirty pictures?
Porn. I mean him taking them for me and vise versa. So sexting basically lol

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post #27 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:11 AM
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Re: Porn over sex

The best answer to all of this is just talk to him. Maybe he has no idea what your are like sexually. He is your husband talk to him.
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post #28 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:17 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Porn over sex

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Originally Posted by sokillme View Post
The best answer to all of this is just talk to him. Maybe he has no idea what your are like sexually. He is your husband talk to him.
I have, he knows

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post #29 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:26 AM
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Re: Porn over sex

No
(its really that simple. I like porn but only as a substitute on the all too frequent occasions that my wife is not available). I've turned her down for sex no more than 5 times in 30 years.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mollymolz View Post
Here's a question for the boys. Why would you chose porn over your wife when she's home and willing?

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Last edited by EleGirl; 02-28-2017 at 11:15 AM. Reason: changed name on quote as account name changed
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post #30 of 77 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 12:31 AM
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Re: Porn over sex

I think Sex is more intimate , sometimes men just want a quick emotionless release. No hassle no cuddles no effort just some dirty porn to have a quick snap off to clear your head.
sorry for being so explicit haha just a quick easy reply of my opinion. but there could be something more, have you ever asked him why ?
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