Sexual Relationships 2017 Style - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 225Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #91 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:41 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,518
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Alright, since this is the official unofficial penis size thread, the timing of this was interesting. This morning I was listening to the "Blown Off" segment on the radio on my drive to work. Female called in (For ease, lets call her FemiPink), went on a date, really liked the dude (for ease, lets called him Conan ), he went ghost afterwards. She commented how she is very upfront in talking about herself, past relationships, what she is looking for, etc...

So radio station gets Conan on the phone. He said he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with FemiPink. His main issue, she was very upfront/aggressive about herself, and in particular FemiPink felt the need to talk in detail about how large her ex's trouser monster was, how at times it was difficult for her to "handle it" etc... FemiPink didn't see what was wrong with this, and if Conan wasn't strong enough to handle this then they didn't have a future together lol.

So, with that being said, does anyone feel that this is way too much info to share (whether it be on a first date as in this case or really at any point in a relationship)? I guess I don't see the value in disclosing this at any point. I can't imagine talking to a SO about how cavernous or tight an Ex's vagina was. I understand some people like to be as open as possible talking about their sexual past, but like I said I don't see the value in this specific information. At a minimum, doesn't really strike me as first date conversation lol.
EllisRedding is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #92 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:58 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,259
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

@alexm I've been with my fair share of above and very above average guys. But I've only directly commented on size, unsolicited, in one instance. They man in question was 5'11" incredibly lean (think Jack Sprat, but with tight, wiry muscles--he was incredibly strong), and he was hung like a horse. The size of his package in juxtaposition with his overall physique was so surprising that I made a (positive) comment in exclamation before I could stop myself. I believe I said, "Holy ****, you're hung like a horse!"

Luckily, he was very good at foreplay.

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

8. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

February 21st is the deadline for full enforcement of the measure.

Posting Guidelines - Forum Rules (2016) }

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 12:46 PM.
FeministInPink is online now  
post #93 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:03 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,259
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Alright, since this is the official unofficial penis size thread, the timing of this was interesting. This morning I was listening to the "Blown Off" segment on the radio on my drive to work. Female called in (For ease, lets call her FemiPink), went on a date, really liked the dude (for ease, lets called him Conan ), he went ghost afterwards. She commented how she is very upfront in talking about herself, past relationships, what she is looking for, etc...

So radio station gets Conan on the phone. He said he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with FemiPink. His main issue, she was very upfront/aggressive about herself, and in particular FemiPink felt the need to talk in detail about how large her ex's trouser monster was, how at times it was difficult for her to "handle it" etc... FemiPink didn't see what was wrong with this, and if Conan wasn't strong enough to handle this then they didn't have a future together lol.

So, with that being said, does anyone feel that this is way too much info to share (whether it be on a first date as in this case or really at any point in a relationship)? I guess I don't see the value in disclosing this at any point. I can't imagine talking to a SO about how cavernous or tight an Ex's vagina was. I understand some people like to be as open as possible talking about their sexual past, but like I said I don't see the value in this specific information. At a minimum, doesn't really strike me as first date conversation lol.
Hmm... that moniker is a little too similar to my own for comfort!

I will tell you guys about my previous partners in that respect, but I wouldn't do that with a partner, especially not on a first date! My guy and I have told each other some stories about our past sexual escapades, but we are also very happy in our sexual dynamic and never compare each other to previous partners... but then again, we both agree that there's really no comparison!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #94 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:11 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,518
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
Hmm... that moniker is a little too similar to my own for comfort!

I will tell you guys about my previous partners in that respect, but I wouldn't do that with a partner, especially not on a first date! My guy and I have told each other some stories about our past sexual escapades, but we are also very happy in our sexual dynamic and never compare each other to previous partners... but then again, we both agree that there's really no comparison!

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
You know, I think in your case though both you and your guy are both at a point (and on the same page) in terms of the information being shared (i.e. sharing some stories). The problem with FemiPink is that without knowing Conan, she took it upon herself to disclose this information under the pretense that "she is putting it all out there on the table". I almost got the impression from the call that she is actually very insecure, but tries to hide it by taking the exact opposite approach (could be wrong, just how I read the few minutes she was on the radio).

In my case, unless there is something specific that my SO had experienced in her past that may in some way impact us, I am content just knowing the minimum information as I rather just focus on us then run the risk of feeling like we need to compete with past relationships.
EllisRedding is offline  
post #95 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:29 AM
Member
 
MJJEAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: MI
Posts: 2,282
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post
I recall (way back in the early '90's for you young'nes) when smoking started to become socially unacceptable. I knew right there and then - NEW FETISH! recently I google "hot girl smoking" and OMG a billion hits - mostly porn sites. Go figure!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Naughty is hot. Smoking became naughty.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
Talking about temperature, my wife loved having me inside her when I had a fever.

She really liked the fact that my penis felt really hot. Personally I felt pretty numb and crappy at the time, but she thought it was great and still sometimes mentions it.
I don't know if it's available in the land of Oz, but KY brand has a lubricant that also warms if you haven't tried it. Your Mrs. might like it very much. I've never used it because DH is a walking furnace, but friends have reported liking it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post

I asked my ex-h at the time I read the article, "hey honey, this is weird, why would guys want to date a woman who smokes, especially if he doesn't?"

He said "it's totally obvious babe...women who smoke are already used to putting nasty, dirty things in their mouths, so guys think hey this chick will put ANYTHING in her mouth."

Makes sense to a random guy, I guess.
Ya know, there might be something to that. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but I've watched smoking go from something almost everyone does to something almost no one does. It's almost become a rebellious act. To some men, a smoker might seem like a "bad girl" who'd be more likely to get down and dirty.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Here's how it is for me...and I've read stories of and known other women who reflect my experience....however I've also read lots of stories like yours of women who experience O's through PIV....


....

In rare circumstances with the right angle, I can have vaginal O's from PIV. When I have done this, it has been the most incredible experiences of my life.

Clitorals O's? Never and not even close during PIV....unless adding a small vibe to the clit. This has been fun a few times but I find I don't want to bother with the stupid vibrating inanimate thing when I'm having so much fun without it.

I have had a handful of blended clitoral and vaginal O's. I can only guess that those are what you are experiencing, and yes I am envious. I can understand how this is totally possibly within some women's anatomy.

I just don't seem to have that type of anatomy.

I do not enjoy at ALL any inanimate object inside of me, to include condoms and any type of insertible toy. There's just something "dead" about it. I need blood pumping through it in order for me to react to something inside of me. Only a penis or a finger will give me the incredible sensations I described in that other post. And that feeling I described....will not give me an O.

However, it will be part of what generates the lust that causes me to have endless vaginal O's shortly afterward.
I have vaginal O's, clitoral O's, and combination O's. The most intense for me are the vaginal and combination with clitoral usually being less intense, but there are have been exceptions to the rule.

Combination O's usually happen when having sex and my clitoris bumps up against something in either the woman on top position or face down position. Sometimes with the right man on top angle. With woman on top or man on top, my clit rubs against his pubic "pooch". When on bottom and face down, it happens because I may be bumping against a towel or the blanket with each thrust.

"Something dead about it.." Great description! I'm stealing that one next time I have to try to explain my feelings on toys and condoms.


On the radio this morning I heard about a new product.

"The Lovely, a “smart” sex toy, fits around the penis and tracks sexual activity — from calories burned, to number of thrusts, to the intensity of intercourse. A smartphone app measures these and other data sets before recommending new sex positions “to help you have even better sex next time,” the Indiegogo page reads.

Made of silicone, the one-size-fits-all toy vibrates to help provide stimulation during sex. It syncs to your smartphone via bluetooth, and its battery lasts for seven hours without vibration, or two hours with. When Lovely’s battery gets low, just place it in its wireless charging cradle to power it up."

A FitBit for the penis with an App that gives you suggestions to improve your sex. Totally a Relationships 2017 Style thing!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
MJJEAN is online now  
post #96 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:42 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,518
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJJEAN View Post


Ya know, there might be something to that. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but I've watched smoking go from something almost everyone does to something almost no one does. It's almost become a rebellious act. To some men, a smoker might seem like a "bad girl" who'd be more likely to get down and dirty.
Hmmm ... that is an interesting perspective. I know for me, if I see a female who, let's say, is a "9". If a moment later I see her light up a cig, she pretty instantaneously drops down to a "1-2". I never really associated it with "Oh wow she smokes, I can only imagine what she would be willing to do in bed" lol.
EllisRedding is offline  
post #97 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 08:46 AM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,973
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
@alexm I've been with my fair share of above and very above average guys. But I've only directly commented on size, unsolicited, in one instance. They man in question was 5'11" incredibly lean (think Jack Sprat, but with tight, wiry muscles--he was incredibly strong), and he was hung like a horse. The size of his package in juxtaposition with his overall physique was so surprising that I made a (positive) comment in exclamation before I could stop myself. I believe I said, "Holy ****, you're hung like a horse!"

Luckily, he was very good at foreplay.
Do you comment on things other than size?

Every man I've been with who I've had wonderful sex with, I always commented on everything I liked about his c*ck. This is not that many men (I have a low number and not all of them were wonderful at sex), but I made sure each one of them knew exactly how much I loved their package and what I loved about it. I always told them their size and shape was beautiful to me, the color of it, the way it bends (or didn't), or whatever else was actually true about my feelings for his lovely unit.

The men I've had great sex with were always the type to compliment and really make me feel beautiful. I always give as good as I get. I know the men I've had great sex with in the past still hear my words of affirmation about their manhood ringing in their ears. And it was all true, every word of it.

A couple of them can't quite get over me because of this.

{Moderator Note: I spelled out the profanity. Please follow forum rules in regards to the profanity filter.

8. Filter Bypass/Obscenity: A profanity filter is in place and any attempts to bypass it are forbidden. You MAY type words that are filtered, as long as they are not abusive towards other quests or violate any other rules; however, you must allow the filter to do its job. Do NOT try to filter the word yourself and do not try to use creative spelling to bypass the profanity filter. Also, posting images of videos of obscene gestures, linking to obscene web sites, posting obscene or graphic descriptions of a decidedly adult nature, and violating a standard of decent behavior is not allowed.

February 21st is the deadline for full enforcement of the measure.

Posting Guidelines - Forum Rules (2016) }

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!

Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 12:46 PM.
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #98 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 09:11 AM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,973
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Semi-related amusing story.....

Having been dating for the past year now (and several months of this I had a boyfriend so that subtracts some of the time)....I now have a gallery of penis pictures.

Not of men I've had sex with, but of men I only TEXTED with.

I never asked for one of the pictures, not one. Every one was sent unsolicited. I'm not saying it was unwelcomed, I'm just saying it was nothing I ever asked for or encouraged.

It seems that if you put a penis and a camera in the same room, sooner or later there will be penis pictures in some woman's texts (or lots of women's). I couldn't believe this at first and wondered what the heck has happened in the world that every man I meet is willing to show me his junk before I've even met him!

But I got used to it pretty quick. So at some point I just enjoyed the free penis pictures and started a gallery of them. Again most of these guys, I never even met in person. And they didn't send pictures of porn star looking stuff, so I really think it was their own and not a stolen internet picture (plus some of them left their face in the picture too!)

I learned to admire the nudist attitude of these guys. They honestly didn't care if I was secretly thinking "wow, that's all you've got?" I think they just enjoyed being naked and showing me their goods.

I did not go on and on about how beautiful their penis was, unless it truly was. If it wasn't or didn't do much for me, I was still polite and would at least send a smiley face.

One guy I was considering for a make out buddy turned flakey on me really quick, but the exchange we had was simply hysterical....we had texted for a few days and met and made out once. By then he had sent me at least 3 penis pics and even a short video! He asked me if he could send them before he did, and I said "sure but you need to know, I literally have a gallery of penis pictures and if you send one, you will be in it". He was like "wow a gallery?", I'm like "yep, every man sends them". He said "even if he's not packing?", I said "yep, they all send them. You basically can't stop them from sending them". He said "ha ha" and then promptly sent them (the video came later).

When he started getting flakey in a way I didn't like, I ended it by text. He got irritated at my reasons for ending it and started getting snarky at me. Then he said in a huff "delete my pictures please". I said "will do" and immediately deleted our entire text string with all pictures and the video. That was it, I had not transferred any of his pictures to my photo gallery yet. Deleting the text deleted them all.

A few moments later he texted "wait, I'm in your gallery though aren't I?". I said "nope, just deleted them all because you asked me to". Then he tried to talk me out of dropping him again for a bit but I just remained sure it was over and told him we'd both need to move along now.

His next text said "a parting gift" with a penis picture.

Like I said to him, you literally can't stop them from sending pictures.

(In this guy's case, he actually was packing a beautiful one! Nice addition to my gallery).

They always ask for naked pictures in return. I might send something provocative and sexy, but not naked. Some of them whine and want naked, and sometimes will say "but it isn't fair, I sent you penis pics!" to which I will always laugh and say "I never asked you to", because I didn't.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #99 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 10:29 AM
Member
 
rockon's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: land of liquid sunshine (Florida)
Posts: 928
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
But men *can* learn to orgasm but NOT ejaculate.

Um............what? How? I'm really curious.
rockon is online now  
post #100 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 10:39 AM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 10,973
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockon View Post
Um............what? How? I'm really curious.
How to Have Multiple Non-Ejaculatory Orgasms: Step-by-Step

That's just one....there are hundreds of others.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #101 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 10:48 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,259
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
You know, I think in your case though both you and your guy are both at a point (and on the same page) in terms of the information being shared (i.e. sharing some stories). The problem with FemiPink is that without knowing Conan, she took it upon herself to disclose this information under the pretense that "she is putting it all out there on the table". I almost got the impression from the call that she is actually very insecure, but tries to hide it by taking the exact opposite approach (could be wrong, just how I read the few minutes she was on the radio).

In my case, unless there is something specific that my SO had experienced in her past that may in some way impact us, I am content just knowing the minimum information as I rather just focus on us then run the risk of feeling like we need to compete with past relationships.
I know, I said I wouldn't tell someone that type of stuff on a first date! LOL

I think your read on the insecurity is spot-on. Someone, in the past, made her feel bad about not disclosing this stuff early on, and so she decided that moving forward, she's going to tell every guy on the first date, so she knows up front if they're going to judge her, rather than waste time on them only to have them judge her later.

It's like this... I have a friend who, like two years ago, contracted genital warts (these are caused by HPV) from some guy she slept with. So she went to the doctor and got them frozen off or burned off or whatever, and has had no recurrence since. And she was talking about when she should disclose this, and she was saying that she thinks it's best to disclose on the first date... and I'm thinking, NO! Why would you DO THAT? You don't even know if you're going to sleep at him at that point, and if you don't have any actual warts at that point in time you're not contagious and you're not going to give him anything, you may never have a recurrence ever in your life, and HPV is so stupid common that it's very possible that he already has HPV. It's like 1 in 3 adults, it's so common that they don't even test for it anymore, and a lot of people never develop symptoms. It's not a big deal, really. You're acting like it's AIDS or terminal cancer, and it's not even close. But her logic was, if he's going to judge me, I'd rather have him do it now than later. And she refused to budge on it.

I think she felt a deep sense of shame about it, and felt that she needed to be punished in some way... and the shame of telling a virtual stranger about it on the first date, on every first date, was her way of punishing herself.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #102 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 10:59 AM
Member
 
FeministInPink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 5,259
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Do you comment on things other than size?

Every man I've been with who I've had wonderful sex with, I always commented on everything I liked about his c*ck. This is not that many men (I have a low number and not all of them were wonderful at sex), but I made sure each one of them knew exactly how much I loved their package and what I loved about it. I always told them their size and shape was beautiful to me, the color of it, the way it bends (or didn't), or whatever else was actually true about my feelings for his lovely unit.

The men I've had great sex with were always the type to compliment and really make me feel beautiful. I always give as good as I get. I know the men I've had great sex with in the past still hear my words of affirmation about their manhood ringing in their ears. And it was all true, every word of it.

A couple of them can't quite get over me because of this.
Well, Real Estate and I have had extended conversations about his, because he's kind of obsessed with it. He'll be going to town solo, and then he'll have me take a turn and ask, "Can you feel XYZ?" of whatever. There are certain things that he likes me to say, especially during sex, and I'll say them (and mean them), but I'm not one to typically wax poetic about someone's c0ck. It's just not my style.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
FeministInPink is online now  
post #103 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:27 PM
Member
 
ConanHub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Abroad. Currently Arizona.
Posts: 7,581
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Alright, since this is the official unofficial penis size thread, the timing of this was interesting. This morning I was listening to the "Blown Off" segment on the radio on my drive to work. Female called in (For ease, lets call her FemiPink), went on a date, really liked the dude (for ease, lets called him Conan ), he went ghost afterwards. She commented how she is very upfront in talking about herself, past relationships, what she is looking for, etc...

So radio station gets Conan on the phone. He said he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with FemiPink. His main issue, she was very upfront/aggressive about herself, and in particular FemiPink felt the need to talk in detail about how large her ex's trouser monster was, how at times it was difficult for her to "handle it" etc... FemiPink didn't see what was wrong with this, and if Conan wasn't strong enough to handle this then they didn't have a future together lol.

So, with that being said, does anyone feel that this is way too much info to share (whether it be on a first date as in this case or really at any point in a relationship)? I guess I don't see the value in disclosing this at any point. I can't imagine talking to a SO about how cavernous or tight an Ex's vagina was. I understand some people like to be as open as possible talking about their sexual past, but like I said I don't see the value in this specific information. At a minimum, doesn't really strike me as first date conversation lol.
LOL! You are a troublemaker!

Ok. Going on a first date and talking about having a hard time accommodating a previous partners junk would be kind of weird.

Now, not to say I would have been put off if other things about her were desirable.

I have had women talk about history in the process of hitting on me and the only reason I can imagine for that is they were trying to let me know they would be up for sex with me.

Mrs. Conan and I had a general talk about mostly our future when we knew we were serious but didn't discuss our histories until way into our relationship and I didn't discuss mine seriously until 18 years into marriage.

In a passing conversation about sex, Mrs. Conan confessed her first husband was part mammoth. Her words were "he had a log down there".

Funny radio show topic!
ConanHub is offline  
post #104 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:35 PM
Member
 
Holdingontoit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: In the woods
Posts: 1,344
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
So radio station gets Conan on the phone. He said he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with FemiPink. His main issue, she was very upfront/aggressive about herself, and in particular FemiPink felt the need to talk in detail about how large her ex's trouser monster was, how at times it was difficult for her to "handle it" etc... FemiPink didn't see what was wrong with this, and if Conan wasn't strong enough to handle this then they didn't have a future together lol.

So, with that being said, does anyone feel that this is way too much info to share (whether it be on a first date as in this case or really at any point in a relationship)? I guess I don't see the value in disclosing this at any point.
Actually, I think quite the opposite. I think FemiPink was correct to share the information. And I think Conan was correct to ghost her.

The point of dating is to determine compatibility. Discovering you are not compatible is not failure, it is success. Failure is continuing to date again and again with both desperately refusing to admit their underlying incompatibility.

The FemiPink you described is comfortable with her sexuality. She needs to be with a man who is also comfortable with his. If her being sexually open is uncomfortable for Conan, then they are incompatible and the sooner they discover that, the better. Doesn't matter whether the source of his discomfort is his size, his shyness, his view that discussing sex is something that should be reserved for after people are deeply romantically involved, or something else. They aren't compatible and her statement that identified that incompatibility was helpful in uncovering that reality.

When you can see it coming, duck!
Holdingontoit is online now  
post #105 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 12:50 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 2,257
Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeministInPink View Post
I know, I said I wouldn't tell someone that type of stuff on a first date! LOL

I think your read on the insecurity is spot-on. Someone, in the past, made her feel bad about not disclosing this stuff early on, and so she decided that moving forward, she's going to tell every guy on the first date, so she knows up front if they're going to judge her, rather than waste time on them only to have them judge her later.

It's like this... I have a friend who, like two years ago, contracted genital warts (these are caused by HPV) from some guy she slept with. So she went to the doctor and got them frozen off or burned off or whatever, and has had no recurrence since. And she was talking about when she should disclose this, and she was saying that she thinks it's best to disclose on the first date... and I'm thinking, NO! Why would you DO THAT? You don't even know if you're going to sleep at him at that point, and if you don't have any actual warts at that point in time you're not contagious and you're not going to give him anything, you may never have a recurrence ever in your life, and HPV is so stupid common that it's very possible that he already has HPV. It's like 1 in 3 adults, it's so common that they don't even test for it anymore, and a lot of people never develop symptoms. It's not a big deal, really. You're acting like it's AIDS or terminal cancer, and it's not even close. But her logic was, if he's going to judge me, I'd rather have him do it now than later. And she refused to budge on it.

I think she felt a deep sense of shame about it, and felt that she needed to be punished in some way... and the shame of telling a virtual stranger about it on the first date, on every first date, was her way of punishing herself.
Tbh, if a female were to tell me about her warts on a first date, I would pass as well. If I knew her better and liked her, I could over-look it due to that bond.

If a female were to tell me how her last partner was a horse, I would pass on the first date but once a relationship is established and we both enjoy the sex, then I would be fine with it. As long as we both are happy with what each other gives physically, mentally, and emotionally, I am cool with whatever. When I am in a relationship, the thing I care most about is my needs met, do I meet her's. I left someone that I could not meet her needs to before. She wanted someone to play stepfather to her child, I was 23 and did not want kids.

Oh, I would also leave a relationship if she brings up her ex on a constant basis as she is not over him or has not worked through her issues.

My advice to your friend would be to hold off on sex if she must and let the other person get to know her better first. I would totally sleep with her on a second date if things were clicking.

I am such a tree hugger because it gives me wood!
Mr.Fisty is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do Relationships Fall Apart Easier These Days? VS Glen Home Page Feature News 33 03-29-2016 06:12 AM
Addictive personalities and the effects on relationships the wife1962 Relationships and Addiction 1 03-10-2016 10:34 AM
Interesting sexual response from wife richardsharpe Sex in Marriage 58 12-17-2015 10:20 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome