Sexual Relationships 2017 Style - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #106 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 01:25 PM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

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You know, I think in your case though both you and your guy are both at a point (and on the same page) in terms of the information being shared (i.e. sharing some stories). The problem with FemiPink is that without knowing Conan, she took it upon herself to disclose this information under the pretense that "she is putting it all out there on the table". I almost got the impression from the call that she is actually very insecure, but tries to hide it by taking the exact opposite approach (could be wrong, just how I read the few minutes she was on the radio).

In my case, unless there is something specific that my SO had experienced in her past that may in some way impact us, I am content just knowing the minimum information as I rather just focus on us then run the risk of feeling like we need to compete with past relationships.
That's generally how I view people who over-share things early in relationships (including friendships).

For me, it would be far less about being part of some comparison, and more about 'why are you talking about somebody else's **** while on a date with me?' (why are you THINKING about somebody else's **** while on a date with me?)

My ex wife told me a story once, maybe a few months into our courtship in our late teens, about how this guy she was seeing was leaving her house one day, and was a little... excited. It was so large (or at least long, I guess) that it was protruding out of his jeans pocket, skyward. When she went to hug him goodbye, she basically ended up grabbing it, which shocked her. The reason she told me this story was innocent - her mother was right there, which, I imagine, would be horrifying for any teenage girl. (why I actually remember this story, I genuinely don't know. I thought it was funny at the time, and it didn't make me insecure in any way). But in my teenage wisdom, it's highly likely I went home, popped a boner, and tried to see how far my junk stuck out of MY pocket! (whether I did that or not, I can't remember. But yeah, probably!)

But that's far different than somebody talking about their ex's horse ****. Never mind on the first date, but pretty much ever, if it's unsolicited.

I've had far tighter than my wife, and there's no doubt she knows it. Would I ever, EVER even casually mention it? Even if it was a 'funny story'? Good god, no. Why? It's not that it'd make her insecure (it may, but I don't think so), but it's more along the lines of how I would feel if she did that to me. Why are you thinking/talking about somebody else's vagina???

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
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post #107 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 06:45 PM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

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I don't know if it's available in the land of Oz, but KY brand has a lubricant that also warms if you haven't tried it. Your Mrs. might like it very much. I've never used it because DH is a walking furnace, but friends have reported liking it.
It is and we tried it a few years ago as an anal lube.



It was way too hot for my wife's backside, which also informed me not to try it either. Aside from anal and through a couple of months after childbirth, my wife has never needed any lube at all. To the point that we'd be fine if she was a lot less naturally lubed down there.

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Ya know, there might be something to that. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but I've watched smoking go from something almost everyone does to something almost no one does. It's almost become a rebellious act. To some men, a smoker might seem like a "bad girl" who'd be more likely to get down and dirty.
When I started dating my wife, she told me she smoked and then asked me if I'd tried Indonesian cigarettes (Kreteks). I told her no and said I didn't like smoking, that said I absolutely love the smell of unburnt tobacco. Anyway not that I asked her, she then quit smoking following that conversation to the point that I have never seen her smoke in my life. I tried smoking when I was 14 and smoked around 2-4 cigarettes, before I decided it was boring and stopped doing it.

That said my wife is "very VERY dirty" when it comes to sex, as nothing at all seems to gross her out.

Although I'm very lucky to be with her, in my experience she hasn't been unique in being highly sexual and up for just about anything that would shock many.

The only odd thing in that respect, is the fact that she didn't lose her virginity, until she was 25 and not long before we started together. So when we started I found her to be pretty inexperienced, a bit awkward and clumsy as well. Yet she was very keen and wanted to do and try everything regardless of whether she'd heard of it before.

I suspect the fact that she was raised in an Italian Catholic migrant family, where her father sometimes called her a **** from the time she reached puberty. Then often called her a *****, after she moved out of home when she was 22, had something to do with her waiting. Since she didn't have sex with anyone until after her father died.

Anyway today my wife and I look like a conservative and boring middle aged couple, who look a bit mismatched with me being short and now fat (although I've lost 6kg/13lb so far this year Yay!), with her being tall and skinny. Yet when we're out she's all over me, we flirt lots, hold hands and kiss all the time (much to the displeasure of our 13 year old daughter, who rolls her eyes whenever we exchange a kiss).

The thing is we have a few different circles of friends, some of them are very conservative, very religious and would be shocked by other friends of ours. Who include a dominatrix who does all sorts of scenes or another woman who makes sex toys and on and on.

When we first started dating my wife (not knowing me very well) set out to shock me, by taking me on a date to meet one of her Fag Hag friends at a Tranny Club. When we got there and I didn't know where we were going, I laughed at her and told her I know you're trying to shock me, but it won't work.

Anyway she admitted that she was trying to shock me, so I then told her about the first time I got drunk when I was 15. During a Pub crawl down Oxford Street in Sydney back in 1986 (which is famed for it's gay bars), with two of my then 18 year old, gay school friends (the music was awesome and I still remember that night fondly).

As it turns out what shocked me more, was meeting her conservative church going friends.

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Last edited by EleGirl; 02-15-2017 at 01:19 PM.
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post #108 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

@Personal

Your post made me laugh. I was raised by a Lutheran mother who was liberal and a Catholic father who was not. I swear, my Dad literally believed until just a few years ago that women only had sex to make their husbands happy. I wish I was joking. My Mom (before she passed in 1996), my sister, and I sent countless hours trying to explain to him that women get horny, too.

When I was 15, I went to my mother to ask her to take me to the doctor so I could get on birth control because I was thinking of having sex with my BF. My mom was disabled, so she had to get a friend of hers to drive me to the appointment because Dad wouldn't. He literally laid in bed with the blanket over his head and refused to come out for hours and hours. A few weeks later, I went on a date with the BF and we did the deed. My dad must have radar, because he called a few friends over, sat at the table getting drunk as skunks, and lamenting over his "fallen" daughter.

Are we too old to talk about 2017 relationships?!!?!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #109 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 07:56 PM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

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@Personal

Your post made me laugh. I was raised by a Lutheran mother who was liberal and a Catholic father who was not. I swear, my Dad literally believed until just a few years ago that women only had sex to make their husbands happy. I wish I was joking. My Mom (before she passed in 1996), my sister, and I sent countless hours trying to explain to him that women get horny, too.

When I was 15, I went to my mother to ask her to take me to the doctor so I could get on birth control because I was thinking of having sex with my BF. My mom was disabled, so she had to get a friend of hers to drive me to the appointment because Dad wouldn't. He literally laid in bed with the blanket over his head and refused to come out for hours and hours. A few weeks later, I went on a date with the BF and we did the deed. My dad must have radar, because he called a few friends over, sat at the table getting drunk as skunks, and lamenting over his "fallen" daughter.

Are we too old to talk about 2017 relationships?!!?!
Not too old at all, anyway still being in relationships right now I figure we qualify for 2017.

My mothers parents were atheists yet my mother was/is? some sort of spiritual person, whereas my father was a Church of Christ Christian whose parents were very religious. When I was born my father got me a leather bound King James bible which I still have and even read when I was 11.



La La La, covering my ears, my parents aren't allowed to have sex! I can't imagine having that conversation with any of my parents, that said my relationship with them has been more of a love/like hate/dislike kind of relationship.

Anyway this isn't a sex story, yet it's similar in that when my father (who is in his 60's) retired a few years ago, my wife and I found out he had never in his whole life learned how to boil an egg, cook a meal or iron his clothes.

So his whole life up until then he'd been waited on by either his mother, the landlady and then his wife. Which is funny because my mother taught me how to iron my own clothes when I was 15 and wanting to eat I learned to cook as well.

Today having learnt a little bit he now sometimes cooks breakfast, makes lunch and or cooks dinner, yet I suspect my mother still does all of the ironing.

As to birth control that's smart, although in my experience oops it didn't work that one time with the woman who became my ex-wife. Since we stopped using condoms after a year because she was on the pill, yet she eventually got pregnant and then we got married. With the whole box and dice of Catholic, pre marital counselling and the Catholic Church wedding.

Funnily enough that Catholic Church wedding remains a bone of contention with my now mother in law, because my wife and I didn't get an annulment from the Catholic Church, so we didn't get married in that church. So she doesn't think we're married and a few years ago, has even gone as far as trying to hook my wife up with another man from the Catholic church she goes to. My wife's mother who is in her 80's likes to pretend my wife isn't really an atheist and will mend her ways soon.

Although I'm an atheist, I like reading your posts about Catholicism, since to some degree it's familiar to me having been married to a Catholic woman and an ex-Catholic woman. While having been with mostly Catholic women, outside of my marriages. That said I've never gone looking for Catholic women, they just seem to find me.

Last edited by Personal; 02-02-2017 at 08:12 PM.
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post #110 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:01 AM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

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Are we too old to talk about 2017 relationships?!!?!
As far as I can tell, most people younger don't have their groove fully functioning yet. When I talk about sex, their mouths drop and they say "I'll have what she's having". So no, I don't think we're too old to talk about 2017 relationships

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #111 of 111 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 10:37 AM
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Re: Sexual Relationships 2017 Style

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Not too old at all, anyway still being in relationships right now I figure we qualify for 2017.

My mothers parents were atheists yet my mother was/is? some sort of spiritual person, whereas my father was a Church of Christ Christian whose parents were very religious. When I was born my father got me a leather bound King James bible which I still have and even read when I was 11.



La La La, covering my ears, my parents aren't allowed to have sex! I can't imagine having that conversation with any of my parents, that said my relationship with them has been more of a love/like hate/dislike kind of relationship.

Anyway this isn't a sex story, yet it's similar in that when my father (who is in his 60's) retired a few years ago, my wife and I found out he had never in his whole life learned how to boil an egg, cook a meal or iron his clothes.

So his whole life up until then he'd been waited on by either his mother, the landlady and then his wife. Which is funny because my mother taught me how to iron my own clothes when I was 15 and wanting to eat I learned to cook as well.

Today having learnt a little bit he now sometimes cooks breakfast, makes lunch and or cooks dinner, yet I suspect my mother still does all of the ironing.

As to birth control that's smart, although in my experience oops it didn't work that one time with the woman who became my ex-wife. Since we stopped using condoms after a year because she was on the pill, yet she eventually got pregnant and then we got married. With the whole box and dice of Catholic, pre marital counselling and the Catholic Church wedding.

Funnily enough that Catholic Church wedding remains a bone of contention with my now mother in law, because my wife and I didn't get an annulment from the Catholic Church, so we didn't get married in that church. So she doesn't think we're married and a few years ago, has even gone as far as trying to hook my wife up with another man from the Catholic church she goes to. My wife's mother who is in her 80's likes to pretend my wife isn't really an atheist and will mend her ways soon.

Although I'm an atheist, I like reading your posts about Catholicism, since to some degree it's familiar to me having been married to a Catholic woman and an ex-Catholic woman. While having been with mostly Catholic women, outside of my marriages. That said I've never gone looking for Catholic women, they just seem to find me.
OMG! I was on the Pill for a little over 2 years when I got put on antibiotics for a lung infection, no one told me they would reuce the effectiveness of the Pill, and I got pregnant. I, too, "did the right thing" and married the father. We all know how that worked out... During the marriage, we were using condoms and I got pregnant with #2. Spent 3 days sitting on the couch, crying, when I found out because it felt like prison sentence extension since I'd have to stay married longer. It was so bad, my azzhole exH actually got worried for once in his life and called a friend of mine to come deal with me.

My dad was helpless, too! He was 7 years younger than mom. She was 28 and he 21 when they met. He went right from his mothers home to living with my mother. When Mom passed away, Dad was only 39. Far too young to remain a widower and far too helpless! He drove me batty. I kid you not, I was so desperate to get him married off I was giving tips and tricks to the woman who wanted to seriously date him and that he eventually married.

"So, you're interested in my Dad? You maybe want to marry him? Hallelujah! Here, let me give you this Care and Feeding of My Dad manual. If you need any other advice, don't hesitate to call, day or night."

DH was never taught how to do anything and never lived on his own, so if I die first he either has to remarry immediately, learn to cook and clean, or have enough money to hire someone. Otherwise, he'll starve to death in a filthy house.

I'll see your Catholic MIL and raise you my MIL, who trained to be a nun in her early adult years, and a devout FIL who never missed Mass until he got Parkinson's disease and could no longer attend due to his health. They're in their 80's and have been married for nearly 60 years.

I was still married to my exH when I met DH. His parents were aware. Needless to say, it took a while (about 2 years and the birth of our son) for them to fully accept that I was sincere about divorcing and marrying DH. I went through the Annulment process a few years ago when I decided to convert and, although his parents never said anything about it, I know having the Annulment approved meant a lot to them.

My MIL and FIL are now really thinking about their mortality and the afterlife. They are naturally concerned for the children they will leave behind when they pass and the immortal souls of said children are naturally also a concern. Honestly, if I hadn't gotten the Annulment already, I would do it now just to ease their minds.


Of course you kept fining Catholic women! I don't know how many are still practicing, but there are currently around 1 billion Baptized Catholics wandering around. Bound to run into a few!

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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