After children... - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 116Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 01:05 PM
Forum Supporter
 
MarriedDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ORYGUN
Posts: 1,848
Re: After children...

Quote:
Originally Posted by aine View Post
I cannot get over the many posters on here that present the male sexual urge as something he has no control over.
FFS! have men never heard of self-control, they are not dogs that must do it when the urge strikes. If that was the case then there is little to differentiate this type of thinking from the thinking in the country I live in that its ok for certain religions to have more than one wife because the man MUST (at all costs) have his sexual urges satiated. (never mind the consequences)


What about the wife!
1. she has just given birth
2. probably is very sore down there - there was blood and all when having sex
3. probably feels used and abused
4. He is a ****in prick because what he is doing now will come back to haunt him as she will be resentful and women never forget!

OP's H is a brute and any man who can't keep it in his ****ing trousers at this time can always smack the donkey in another way. He doesn't deserve a wife.
Understand...most men are fountains of self-control. If we weren't....the world would be a very very different place.

This isn't an issue of self-control....This is about respect and basic decency. OP's H...is lacking in both. This isn't about sex. IMO, sex is merely the symptom. The entire dynamic of the situation is just....sideways.....It doesn't make sense in the context of how OP describes other aspects of her H.

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
MarriedDude is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 01:26 PM
Member
 
Hellomynameis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Finger Lakes NY
Posts: 198
Re: After children...

OP - my H spent our entire marriage threatening to leave me if I didn't have sex with him at least once a day. When I started bleeding at 5 months pregnant and almost miscarried and got put on bed rest with no physical activity including sex, he insisted on it anyway and when I refused to risk the baby for his selfish urges he went out and found himself a f*** buddy. When the delivery went bad and I ended up being told not to have sex for at least another six months due to vaginal tearing, he left permanently.

If I had put my foot down sooner in the marriage instead of giving in to him, maybe he would have learned to respect me and we would have been in a better place later to work things out. So what I'd say to you is don't let him continue to get away with this because the more you give in, the more he will take advantage. You need to give him a reason to learn to respect you!

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
Hellomynameis is offline  
post #48 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 03:55 PM
Member
 
Hope1964's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Alberta
Posts: 8,845
Re: After children...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
OP - my H spent our entire marriage threatening to leave me if I didn't have sex with him at least once a day. When I started bleeding at 5 months pregnant and almost miscarried and got put on bed rest with no physical activity including sex, he insisted on it anyway and when I refused to risk the baby for his selfish urges he went out and found himself a f*** buddy. When the delivery went bad and I ended up being told not to have sex for at least another six months due to vaginal tearing, he left permanently.

If I had put my foot down sooner in the marriage instead of giving in to him, maybe he would have learned to respect me and we would have been in a better place later to work things out.
Holy crap what a POS. The best way to deal with this type of behaviour is to get rid of the perpetrator. I highly doubt anything YOU had done would have suddenly turned him into a respectable human being.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

Our R
Hope1964 is online now  
post #49 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 04:09 PM
Forum Supporter
 
MarriedDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: ORYGUN
Posts: 1,848
Re: After children...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
OP - my H spent our entire marriage threatening to leave me if I didn't have sex with him at least once a day. When I started bleeding at 5 months pregnant and almost miscarried and got put on bed rest with no physical activity including sex, he insisted on it anyway and when I refused to risk the baby for his selfish urges he went out and found himself a f*** buddy. When the delivery went bad and I ended up being told not to have sex for at least another six months due to vaginal tearing, he left permanently.

If I had put my foot down sooner in the marriage instead of giving in to him, maybe he would have learned to respect me and we would have been in a better place later to work things out. So what I'd say to you is don't let him continue to get away with this because the more you give in, the more he will take advantage. You need to give him a reason to learn to respect you!
WOW....This just seems outrageous. I mean...MrsmarriedDude...hell, I would have expected a Bat to the Dome....at best...and a Knife stick wake up at worst. How have these guys survived?

Holes burn deep in your chest,
Raked by machine gun fire.
Screaming soul sent out to die,
Living mandatory suicide.
MarriedDude is offline  
post #50 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 06:09 PM
Member
 
Hellomynameis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Finger Lakes NY
Posts: 198
Re: After children...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
WOW....This just seems outrageous. I mean...MrsmarriedDude...hell, I would have expected a Bat to the Dome....at best...and a Knife stick wake up at worst. How have these guys survived?
In my ex's case, at least in part due to wealth. Which he didn't have yet when we were together. But he has no problem finding women now who are willing to put up with the fact that he is an obese, unattractive bore. Several hundred grand a year and the status of a Fortune 500 executive position will get you a lot of sex.

The road goes ever ever on, down from the door where it began... JRR Tolkien
Hellomynameis is offline  
post #51 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 06:16 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,629
Re: After children...

That is absolutely horrible of him.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
OP - my H spent our entire marriage threatening to leave me if I didn't have sex with him at least once a day. When I started bleeding at 5 months pregnant and almost miscarried and got put on bed rest with no physical activity including sex, he insisted on it anyway and when I refused to risk the baby for his selfish urges he went out and found himself a f*** buddy. When the delivery went bad and I ended up being told not to have sex for at least another six months due to vaginal tearing, he left permanently.

If I had put my foot down sooner in the marriage instead of giving in to him, maybe he would have learned to respect me and we would have been in a better place later to work things out. So what I'd say to you is don't let him continue to get away with this because the more you give in, the more he will take advantage. You need to give him a reason to learn to respect you!
uhtred is online now  
post #52 of 52 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 09:50 PM
Member
 
sixty-eight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,160
Re: After children...

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedDude View Post
WOW....This just seems outrageous. I mean...MrsmarriedDude...hell, I would have expected a Bat to the Dome....at best...and a Knife stick wake up at worst. How have these guys survived?
in my es's case, it was the frog in a pot of water, and trauma bonding, and manipulation.
and sleep deprivation.

it's difficult to stick up for yourself against someone you love. And people that take look for givers, on purpose.

Treat yourself better OP. look out for yourself. I wish someone had told me to do that years ago. There might have been something left to save.

and maybe get some counseling or find a friend you trust to confide in and bounce things off of. Get together for a girls night, take time for yourself. Tell fiance that this is mandatory.
Especially with abuse in your past,abuse can be normalized. You may not notice that your fiancee's behavior isn't normal, if poor treatment is normal to you.

Forget enough to get over it, remember enough so it doesn't happen again.
sixty-eight is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
When the children don't matter to an ex-husband Threeblessings General Relationship Discussion 18 04-18-2016 10:42 AM
The Sexodus tech-novelist The Men's Clubhouse 1287 03-01-2016 11:22 AM
Sole parents with children and dating Threeblessings Life After Divorce 16 01-11-2016 08:10 AM
Should i be upset? Decisions about children hishersandours7 General Relationship Discussion 21 12-10-2015 08:37 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome