This is a very difficult period for both spouses. I feel for both of you. You can exit this period (baby in the house) as a stronger team or as enemies. Takes both of you working together to build a stronger bond. Only takes one of you not working at it to destroy your love.
Yes, he was a boor. Yes, baby in house and Mom breastfeeding will mean less sex for Dad for a while. He should accept the unavoidable reality and be less of a selfish jerk about that. But you need to be as sympathetic to him as he is to you. It HURTS many men to go without sex. Not just physically but even more deeply, emotionally. We feel rejected and worthless. I know lots of women think those are just words that men use to get into your pants but they are not. The pain and rejection and feeling of worthlessness are real.
The fact that you just went through delivery and you have a new baby in the house may kill of your desire but it probably doesn't affect his. As @badsanta
posted, the stress may well increase your H's level of desire and need for you. I know, not welcome, but just as real as your decreased desire.
And that is the problem. His desire for you is not welcome. Problem is, he likely cannot separate his desire for you from his love for you. So if you tell him to pack up his desire and send it away, there is a substantial chance that his love for you will go with it. Yes, it would be great if he could love you without desiring you so powerfully, but many people (men and women) simply cannot. It is a package deal. If I love you, I desire you sexually. If you prevent me from acting on my sexual desire for you, my love for you disappears. Sad (when not reciprocated), but true.
So you can work with him on ways to satisfy him sexually that are not so painful and bothersome for you. I agree you should not do anything that causes you physical pain, much less agony. Or you can leave him hanging. But if you think he can and should simply wait until you are feeling strong urges for sex before you guys have sex again, realize that you may be saying that he can and should wait until you feel a strong urge for sex before he loves you again. And I don't think that is what you want. Would be great if he could compartmentalize and take joy from the baby and jettison his need for sex for a while. But he simply may not be capable of doing that. Many people cannot. Doesn't make him bad or wrong or evil for having this need despite it being inconvenient for you.
Similarly, it isn't bad or wrong or evil of you to wish that you didn't have to have any sex until the baby feeds and clothes and bathes itself. Just makes you guys a (very normal and typical and unremarkable) bad match for each other at the moment. Something you both need to work through if you want to be a good match for each other later on. Because if you think you can just tell him to go stuff his needs for a couple of years and then have a loving and caring H at the back end, you are fooling yourself.
Just as he is fooling himself if he thinks the baby and the changes in your body are not going to affect his sex life. He is likely going to get less frequency and less enthusiasm than before the baby arrived. You are probably going to have to perform more frequently and with more enthusiasm than you are feeling at the moment. If both of you compromise and sacrifice for the good of the relationship, you will both appreciate each other more over time. If one ro both of you holds back and insists on having things "my way", then likely one or both of you will not appreciate the other very much in a few years.
No matter what else you do for your child, don't fool yourself into thinking that you are being a great Mom if your selfishness leads to Dad walking away. Dad leaving is a bigger deal than timely feedings or breastmilk vs bottle or timely changing and avoiding diaper rash or any single session of doing some "baby enhancement" activity. That doesn't mean this is all on you. Like I said, Dad should stop being a selfish jerk and should accept that reality has changed. Permanently. And that his behavior can affect how good or bad the change is. So it is in his own interest to make wise choices and support his wife so she is more motivated to reciprocate. BOTH of you need to pull back in some areas and push forward in others.
Just saying that focusing 100% of your attention on the baby and 0% on your H is NOT optimal. SO you should not see time with Dad as always selfish by dad and taking something away from the baby. You are giving the baby an invaluable gift. Mom and Dad getting along and loving each other every year for the rest of their lives is priceless. Try your best to get that for your child. And if that means you have a little less time and energy for the baby, trust me, years from now the baby won't complain. Every time he sees Dad kiss Mom and Mom smile, the former baby will smile (inwardly - outwardly the former baby will say "eww, gross, get a room you guys, that is disgusting!). And that is when you will realize that the time you took away from baby for Dad was well worth it.