Sex is fluid. I'm giving average numbers that give a limited understanding of my reality.
Besides all that, I get a funny read on you.
You are hiding behind the LD label to maybe justify your feelings.
You don't have to do that. Your feelings are important and have little if nothing to do with a LD label.
You were not treated in a compassionate or considerate manner and, I believe, you justifiably feel disrespected and unloved.
I don't believe it is directly related to HD and LD issues.
I know for certain that a woman, regardless of current drive level, that is genuinely, selflessly loved and cherished, will be far more open and comfortable for approach for sex.
Add a skillful and seductive lover to the previous mix and you have a man that you probably won't be LD with.
Maybe not a classification of HD, but I doubt you would even consider yourself LD with him.
Right now, I'm ND (N
o Drive). The last orgasm I had was a few weeks ago. Before that was several months ago. I'm not interested in having sex right now, nor do I want an intimate relationship right now.
In all honesty, I don't consider myself LD OR HD. My "drive" is situational. It's not consistent. Some relationships I've been HD in the beginning and LD toward end. Some I started out at LD and became HD...to become LD to become HD again.
But the difference between *me* and other HD's seems to be about the orgasm
. I could want my partner's hands on me daily, several times a day, yet only 'crave' an orgasm occasionally. If I was with a partner and we couldn't
have sex for the rest of our lives, I could still be happy with him
, provided there was plenty of affection and respect for each other
both in bed and out. Hugging, kissing, spooning, caressing, holding, stroking, whether naked or fully clothed. I don't need the orgasm in order to feel passion or immensely close and intimate with a partner. Heck, I could 'bond' with my partner over a game of Parcheesi (played in the buff!
) just as easily as I could 'bond' with him during a roll in the hay. And I want a partner who wants the same thing. One who doesn't constantly focus on the (especially his own) orgasm as the goal of lovemaking. It may be difficult for me to find, but...
I've learned a lot from TAM since I've been here. What I've learned most of all is two things:
#1. I have been settling in my life because I didn't realize that I was "allowed" to want certain things from my relationships. Now I know better AND,
#2. I will no longer settle.
And if that means that I'll be single for the rest of my life, never having sex again, I'm o.k. with that. I would rather be that way then to be in a bad relationship with a man who has NO CLUE about how to play Parcheesi!