Re: I've messed up
I do not know your fiancee's story but will jump on the YOU SUCK bandwagon because you really understanding this plus truly empathising with what your fiancee is going through is the key to your problem.
So lets start with you …
First, you are a selfish bully! You insist on having things your way and will bully your fiancee into succumbing to your wishes. How are bullies stopped ? Normally by someone standing up to them and not giving in and hopefully also knocking the sh!t out of them. In your case, neither of this has happened so you will continue to be a selfish bully. Sad but true. Until this is fixed, I am not sure anything else can be.
You are an insensitive dullard! How does one make someone who is insensitive more aware especially if he is also dumb? Normally by addressing the problem as dealing with special needs learning. This may be possible here at TAM but you need special help to educate you as you do not appear to be quick on the uptake. This is evident from the language you use.
You are insecure and weak. You are not confident in your own skin and in your relationship. How does one build one's confidence and security - by being proud of yourself and a good man all round. To do this you need to first address the previous two issues and then go on to understand your fiancee's love language, needs, fears, but most of all her value, strengths, wonderfulness (if thats a word) etc. Really appreciate her for who and what she is and value any scrap of affection she gives you (forget about sex - she is a million miles from that right now probably).
Do you think you could overcome all of the above. If not, then let her go find someone who can truly love her and appreciate her - that in itself would be a great act of love from you and get you on the road to addressing your issues.
I don't suppose you wanted to hear any of the above but its there for you to read, understand, take in and do something about …. or NOT.
If you manage to get through this first part, then we can go onto another section about her.
This is my quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To fight for the right, without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause