Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse. - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 04:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1003 Counterfeit Coupon for Love

Step 1: Dig through some of you old things from your wife. Find some papers where she signed her name to something.

Step 2: Cut out around where she signed her name, and leave just enough room to draw in the details for a love coupon. Be sure and put "no expiration" on it!

Step 3: Brag to your wife that you can not believe what you just found in some of your old things! Show her the coupon, and laugh that you can't even remember her making it for you.

Step 4: Tell her to get dressed in something sexy, because you are taking her out on a date. Ask her if she intends to honor the coupon or not afterwards, because that will impact dinner plans for the evening. If she will honor it, then the two of you are going to the nicest restaurant in town. Inform her if she refuses to honor the coupon, that she will be getting chili-cheese dogs for dinner, because one way or the other her áss is getting all torn up tonight!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-03-2017, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

A quick and easy one for Friday night or the weekend for those lazy husbands out there!

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1004 Preemptive Self Rejection

Step 1: Explain to your wife that you do not feel well and that you need some quality time.

Step 2: Tell her not to get any ideas, because you are NOT in the mood for sex, and that you just need a snuggle.

Step 3: Once snuggling, claim that you feel really hot and just get naked and ask for a back rub.

Step 4: (Now in order to pull this off, you have to try and be as sincere as possible with this one.) Apologize for being so pushy with sex all the time, and mention how wonderful it feels just to have a nice snuggle and talk.

Step 5: Claim since you are NOT in the mood for sex, ask her what she needs from you to improve that area of your marriage, and try to actually listen.

Step 6: (revealing that you are aroused) Pretend to get upset at yourself for getting aroused during such a nice moment. Claim to be very annoyed with yourself. Make your erection unavoidably visible and accessible to her. ...wait for her to touch it.

Step 7: Don't ask for anything, just allow her to do whatever she wants to do, but compliment that crap out of everything that she does and tell her how wonderful she is!

Step 8: Enjoy!


Can't tell you how many times this one has worked for me!!!!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-07-2017, 10:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1006 The Placebo Effect

Step 1: Cook/order your wife something to eat that she has never had before. Choose something a little spicy. Have her drink lots of water or alcohol.

Step 2: After finishing the meal pretend there is research that strongly suggests whatever it is she just ate has an incredible aphrodisiac effect on over 90% of women. Claim that the unique combination of herbs and spices are known to cause histamine to target the urinary system. While there is no impact on the urinary system itself, upon going to the bathroom that this histamine will cause her lady parts to swell a little and become hyper sensitive.

Step 3: Claim that there will be NO SEX this evening, but instead you two are going to a movie with her favorite male actor, and that you want her to experience sexual frustration. Upon returning home, there will be NO SEX.

Step 4: Order her a large drink for the movie and smile, or better yet, sneak some beer into the theater for her.

Step 5: Once she has to goto the bathroom during/after the movie, smile and say for her sake that you hope the research about the food she just ate being an aphrodisiac is wrong!

Step 6: Go home, playfully deny her the availability to have sex with you and wait for it!


NOTES: For husbands with a reluctant wife, many times refusing/delaying sex in the relationship is about her needing to be in control. If she finds herself in a situation where the husband will have control, she is not going to like that! She will initiate sex, and passionately so just so she can prove her husband is an idiot and has no control over when and if there will be any sex in the relationship! "Dinner and a movie" as we all know is just the traditional date night to get her primed!


Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-07-2017, 12:41 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

@badsanta is correct that the central dynamic is often about power and control. Once I showed my wife that I was serious about not having sex with her, she initiated more than once. Unheard of. Now she makes hugs and kisses far more available than back when I was begging her for sex.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-07-2017, 03:28 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

badsanta, you spend entirely too much time trying to figure out how to get laid. I'd go so far as to say that you spend entirely too much time thinking about sex - period (but, you're a guy so I won't make such a stupid statement). Relax and have fun!

BTW, Oprah's seamstress already beat you to the punch with the labels. She was proudly proclaiming she was wearing a size 6 (six) when it was evident she was born with a size 12 keester.
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-07-2017, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
badsanta, you spend entirely too much time trying to figure out how to get laid. I'd go so far as to say that you spend entirely too much time thinking about sex - period (but, you're a guy so I won't make such a stupid statement). Relax and have fun!
@Blondilocks I am relaxed and having fun! All my moves are now completely improvised after spending over a decade of learning the "hard" way what does NOT work and getting all passively aggressively upset about it.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1007 Stop Being So Dang Sexy

Step 1: Wait for one of those really awkward moments where your wife is not looking her best. Preferably while her face is covered in BBQ sauce from that half rack of ribs she is eating.

Step 2: Tell her to "STOP IT! YOU NEED TO STOP IT! STOP BEING SO SEXY!"



Step 3: Grab her and give her an extremely passionate kiss, BBQ sauce and all and make it a point to make a mess of yourself while kissing her.

Step 4: Apologize that it is too late now, that she is in trouble as soon as the two of you get home!


It is not all about sex, it is more about knowing how to be flirtatious and fun around your wife!!!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

OK, since it is Valentines and many folks out there have unrealistic expectations of guaranteed sex with a reluctant spouse, here is my move of the day.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1008 Preplanned Arguments & Tantrums

NOTES: Some spouses have a great deal of anxiety, particularly on days when sex might be expected. To help reduce this anxiety, instead shift the focus by using Murphy's Law and plan for everything to go horribly wrong!

Step 1: Plan out a really bizarre temper tantrum as a way to make fun of yourself for the way one behaves when you do not get the sex that you expect on a day like Valentines.

Step 2: Describe this tantrum in detail to the wife, and let her laugh about it, and make plans to get it out of the way early in the day. An example of a funny tantrum might be going out for an ice cream sundae alone to help calm yourself down. Claim to be in a forgiving mood since this tantrum is preplanned and invite her along.

Step 3: Explain to your wife that you are tired about arguing over sex, but that you are prepared to argue all night and refuse to take the blame for anything in the event there will be no sex. Do tell her that sharing an ice cream sundae while you have your tantrum is turning out to be rather nice, and that while your in a good mood perhaps you might even be willing to listen about why many of the problems in the marriage are actually your fault, but only just for a little while.

Step 4: As your wife vents her problems, look at her and claim that just an ice cream sundae may not do it, and say that you now need to go somewhere for a glass of wine or perhaps a beer. Try to actually listen to your wife, and thank her for coming along on your temper tantrum.

Step 5: As you end your temper tantrum, ask your wife if she is ready to go back home and deal with a husband that feels entitled to incredible sex? Tell her not to freak out, because you have already got your temper tantrum out of the way, so all there is left is just a really ambitious pervert of a husband for her to try and deal with.

Step 6: On the way home give your wife a valentines day card, but explain that it was planned for you to give it to her tomorrow. Have it read something like, "I'm sorry for being such an ass on Valentines day and throwing such a horrible tantrum, and trying to blame you for all our problems. Please forgive me? Will you still be upset if I am anticipating incredibly awesome makeup sex? As I am and always will be your incredibly ambitious pervert of a husband that can't get enough of you because you are so wonderful!"

That should do it! If someone needs more steps, let me know?

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 10:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1009 Reverse Guilt

A long time ago I too often would guilt my wife into having sex with me, and I was rather good at it too. But then I realized that eliciting pity sex (even when it turned out OK) was rather problematic towards creating a scenario to where my wife could really enjoy sex.

So I am sure many men on TAM know all too well how to make their wives feel sorry for us, and how painful it is to be deprived and rejected for sex so often. So envision that, but do the exact opposite as if you are responding to a hypothetical situation where your wife is making you feel guilty (even though she is not actively trying to do this to you), but try to be sincere about it!

Step 1: Obviously for husbands that have a higher drive than his wife, she likely does struggle, and it actually is important to acknowledge this!

Step 2: Brag about your own sexual prowess as being so spectacular that perhaps you indirectly guilt your wife into keeping up with you, and that you really should step back and not put so much pressure.

Step 3: Complain that for her you likely feel "too easy" and ask if as her husband if she feels like your underwear drops to the floor at even the slightest opportunity of seeing her naked? (obviously she will say yes!)

Step 4: Tell her you are going to work on this and start playing "hard to get" for her!

Step 5: Claim that this evening that you are now un-arousable! And apologize for never challenging her to have to win your affection and that you can only imagine what it has been like to not get to chase you any for all these years being as handsome as you are. (she will probably be giggling at this point)

Step 6: At this point your wife will begin to flirt and tease you, just to prove that you are full of ****. At this point you tease your wife back that she just has no idea how to tease you or flirt with you, but meanwhile make it obvious with you body language that you are struggling to contain your arousal. Tell her that you feel sorry for her, and that she really needs A LOT of practice if she is ever going to have a clue on how to seduce you and that you are willing to sacrifice yourself as she tries to learn (meanwhile your body language should be saying the exact opposite).

Step 7: Enjoy!!!!!!!

NOTES: This PUA move is about being overconfident as opposed to trying to get pity from your wife. She will likely respond to this much better simply because you are being fun and playful as opposed to serious and sad. Most women really enjoy a partner that can be playful and upbeat, even while she tries to be extremely critical and laugh her ass off at you! If you keep a smile through that, as a man you become irresistible!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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