Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:30 PM Thread Starter
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Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

I had started a similar thread a while back but deleted it as I included too much information. I thought I would start a new one to help some TAM couples get their mojo back, or at least have fun trying instead of being frustrated. So here goes:

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1000 The Mad Tailor


I used to work in a high end clothing store when I was in high school as my summer job. There was this one client that refused to buy cloths except from one of the company executives. The reason was because he could find cloths that fit her unlike any other person. The reality was that she refused to buy cloths in her actual size, so this person would pull tags from cloths of a larger size and sew in a label indicating a smaller size. The customer would beam with happiness and almost looked like she was ready to ravage this executive after she would finish trying on the cloths in the dressing room.

So as husbands, we know our wive's favorite cloths and where she purchased them. We can reverse engineer this idea as a way to seduce our own wife.

Step 1: Find "that pair" of jeans that you know she has outgrown, but refuses to throw away because she wants to fit into them again one day. Try to buy an exact same pair of these jeans, but in her current size. Wash the new pants so that they do not look brand new.

Step 2: Swap the small size label from her old favorite pair jeans into the new larger ones.

Step 3: Recalibrate your bathroom scales if you have some to indicate a few pounds less than normal.

Step 4: Compliment your wife and mention that she looks like she is loosing weight and looking hot.

Step 5: Setup a date night and ask to to wear that old pair of jeans that she likes and has not worn them in a long time to see if they fit again, because you think they would look hot.

Step 6: If she beams with joy that she now suddenly fits back into her favorite pair of old pants... shower her with compliments and ask her to get naked to see if she looks better that way as well.

Step 7: At this point you can do whatever you want!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:37 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Step 1. Leggings.

Done
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:51 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
I had started a similar thread a while back but deleted it as I included too much information. I thought I would start a new one to help some TAM couples get their mojo back, or at least have fun trying instead of being frustrated. So here goes:

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1000 The Mad Tailor


I used to work in a high end clothing store when I was in high school as my summer job. There was this one client that refused to buy cloths except from one of the company executives. The reason was because he could find cloths that fit her unlike any other person. The reality was that she refused to buy cloths in her actual size, so this person would pull tags from cloths of a larger size and sew in a label indicating a smaller size. The customer would beam with happiness and almost looked like she was ready to ravage this executive after she would finish trying on the cloths in the dressing room.

So as husbands, we know our wive's favorite cloths and where she purchased them. We can reverse engineer this idea as a way to seduce our own wife.

Step 1: Find "that pair" of jeans that you know she has outgrown, but refuses to throw away because she wants to fit into them again one day. Try to buy an exact same pair of these jeans, but in her current size. Wash the new pants so that they do not look brand new.

Step 2: Swap the small size label from her old favorite pair jeans into the new larger ones.

Step 3: Recalibrate your bathroom scales if you have some to indicate a few pounds less than normal.

Step 4: Compliment your wife and mention that she looks like she is loosing weight and looking hot.

Step 5: Setup a date night and ask to to wear that old pair of jeans that she likes and has not worn them in a long time to see if they fit again, because you think they would look hot.

Step 6: If she beams with joy that she now suddenly fits back into her favorite pair of old pants... shower her with compliments and ask her to get naked to see if she looks better that way as well.

Step 7: At this point you can do whatever you want!

Cheers,
Badsanta

Genius lol. That right there is worth a whole year of sex.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:53 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

@badsanta - dude, you have issues.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:56 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Dinner seduction:
My never fail chicken with white wine sauce, is absolutely diet friendly and when I was single, this dinner, I politely referred to as "Panty Remover".

2 Chicken Breasts, sliced into six 1/4" filets.
1 Cup chicken stock
1/2 Cup white wine
3 Tbsp dried mixed italian herbs (Oregano, Basil and Parsley)
1 Tsp chopped garlic
1 small sweet onion, finely minced.

Saute chicken breasts with onion and garlic. Brown on both sides. Add Stock, wine and herbs. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for at least an hour. You can add a little butter to the sauce and you may thicken if you like with a roux. (Diet friendly side-baby brussel sprouts with teriyaki/garlic) (Not diet friendly side-farfalle buttered)
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 02:56 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Are you the coyote from roadrunner? LOL!

I love your schemes!
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 03:40 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

What happens after your scheme unravels because she realizes the tare weight on the scale has been adjusted, or she decides to buy some new clothes and realizes the jeans you replaced are mis sized? Are ready for the fall out from that?

At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 03:43 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

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Originally Posted by Ynot View Post
What happens after your scheme unravels because she realizes the tare weight on the scale has been adjusted, or she decides to buy some new clothes and realizes the jeans you replaced are mis sized? Are ready for the fall out from that?
Blame electronics... And shrinking clothes sizes.
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 03:57 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

@badsanta's face when his wife walks in and says, "hun, why did you mislead me by changing the tag on the jeans?"


Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-01-2017, 08:57 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1001 No More Libido Enhancers

Step 1: Next time you are at the grocery store, buy a cheap bottle of some stupid male libido enhancers. Take them if you want, but probably best not to. Instead pour most of them out and leave the almost empty bottle next to your sink or anywhere conspicuous that your wife will discover it.

Step 2: Wait for her to discover it and ask you about them. If she says nothing, ask her to pick you up some more from the grocery store and show her the bottle.

Step 3: When she asks what they are for, claim that a high school friend recommended them to help reduce pain and that they act like a steroid to help optimize/rejuvenate your joints so that you can feel better and also have more energy throughout the day. Claim they have really been helping for that as you had a period in life where you felt really tired and could not even exercise.

Step 4: OK, this is when you wife will point out that the supplement is specifically intended to enhance libido and that perhaps it has been exacerbating her issues with being sexually mismatched in the marriage, and that you should discontinue use.

Step 5: Claim that everything on the label is absolutely false advertising and that you think it is pure BS, because you have been taking these things for years! Say it does help with muscle and joint health. Claim that you have never noticed them to cause your libido to increase and that you feel the same as you always have since you were a teenager.

Step 6: This is where you wife freaks out that you have been taking libido enhancers for years!

Step 7: Have this OMG reaction with her, and ask if it is normal that you still have the same drive as when you were a teenager? Apologize and stare at the bottle in disbelief.

Step 8: Discard the remaining contents of the libido enhancer into the trash and promise to never take them again.

Step 9: In the following day or two claim that no matter what, you are unable to get aroused. Say it is almost amazing. Ask your wife to show her boobs, and when she does say, "meh, nothing!" Ask her to try something else, and pretend to be completely uninterested. Claim that this is amazing! Ask her to do something crazy to see if anything will work!

Step 10: Once she lets her guard completely down and starts to get freaky to she if she can arouse you... Unleash your pent up desire and compliment her for being married to a wife that is way too freaking sexy!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 02:42 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1002 The Revenge of Mr. Nice Guy!

If you don't know about Mr. Nice Guy, his covert contracts for sex (does something nice and then expects sex), subsequent meltdowns (because he does not get any of the expected sex), and passive aggressive tantrums (because he feels entitled to sex)... well not all nice guys finish last!

STEP 1: Drain out all the laundry detergent except enough to run one load of laundry into a spare container, and hide it somewhere. Run a load of your own underwear and socks to make sure you can outlast your wife in clean cloths. Place the empty container of detergent on the shelve where it is normally kept (go so far as to rinse it out with water so that no one can squeeze and extra load of laundry out of it).

STEP 2: Begin taking your wife's clean underwear, and toss a few pair in the dirty cloths each day so that she runs out much sooner than expected.

STEP 3: Verbally mention to you wife that you will try to help catch up with some laundry so that she thinks there is nothing to worry about!

STEP 4: Stay too busy helping other friends and family to actually do any laundry.

STEP 5: Preemptively anticipate the moment your wife will run completely out of underwear, and mention that there is no more detergent and that you have to run to the store and get some.

STEP 6: Come home from the store with a bunch of groceries but NO laundry detergent. Let your wife discover this situation all on her own, and hopefully by now she is going commando around the house.

STEP 7: Once she freaks out, tell her not to worry that you purchased her a new pack of underwear, and for her to go check her dresser drawers to get some.

Allow your wife to go on her own to get a fresh pair of underwear. At this point she will now discover all her simple comfort fit underwear is long gone, and that you have now replaced them all with extremely sexy pairs of lingerie underwear.

STEP 8: wait for it, and pretend everything is normal as if nothing!



Badsanta
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 02:57 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

You do your wife's laundry?
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

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You do your wife's laundry?
Our laundry room is kind of like the volunteer fire department. When there is an emergency, generally the first available responder has to do the job.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 03:40 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

I understand, not trying to dig at you too much, just struck me as funny.

I do mine, she does hers and mostly by now the kid does his own at her command. I often offer to put her stuff in the dryer since she does an inordinate # of 1/4 loads. The answer is always no, which may have something to do with the time I dried her sweater close to 20 years ago - on HIGH. Cause, why the hell would you want it to tumble an extra 30 minutes on low or fluff?
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-02-2017, 09:12 PM
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Re: Badsanta's PUA Married Man's Playbook for seducing your spouse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
Badsanta's Married Man's PUA Move #1002 The Revenge of Mr. Nice Guy!

If you don't know about Mr. Nice Guy, his covert contracts for sex (does something nice and then expects sex), subsequent meltdowns (because he does not get any of the expected sex), and passive aggressive tantrums (because he feels entitled to sex)... well not all nice guys finish last!

STEP 1: Drain out all the laundry detergent except enough to run one load of laundry into a spare container, and hide it somewhere. Run a load of your own underwear and socks to make sure you can outlast your wife in clean cloths. Place the empty container of detergent on the shelve where it is normally kept (go so far as to rinse it out with water so that no one can squeeze and extra load of laundry out of it).

STEP 2: Begin taking your wife's clean underwear, and toss a few pair in the dirty cloths each day so that she runs out much sooner than expected.

STEP 3: Verbally mention to you wife that you will try to help catch up with some laundry so that she thinks there is nothing to worry about!

STEP 4: Stay too busy helping other friends and family to actually do any laundry.

STEP 5: Preemptively anticipate the moment your wife will run completely out of underwear, and mention that there is no more detergent and that you have to run to the store and get some.

STEP 6: Come home from the store with a bunch of groceries but NO laundry detergent. Let your wife discover this situation all on her own, and hopefully by now she is going commando around the house.

STEP 7: Once she freaks out, tell her not to worry that you purchased her a new pack of underwear, and for her to go check her dresser drawers to get some.

Allow your wife to go on her own to get a fresh pair of underwear. At this point she will now discover all her simple comfort fit underwear is long gone, and that you have now replaced them all with extremely sexy pairs of lingerie underwear.

STEP 8: wait for it, and pretend everything is normal as if nothing!
STEP 9: Fall asleep through exhaustion, as a consequence of trying too hard.
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