Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex. - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #91 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 07:51 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Originally Posted by Sunflower9119 View Post
no, this is not normal. It's also not an issue of shaming him or not needing his needs. It's an issue of him never meeting my needs or thinking of them too. Marriage is a two way street, bud. Its sad u have to think of other women as well in order to get aroused. A lot of men out there have a normal, healthy outlook on sex. They don't have to think of other woman or make their lady dress up in order to feel passionate about touching her.
Have you tried other ways of getting him aroused? It sounds to me like a huge part of his problem is the drugs he is on, and while some drugs can really do a guy in, a lot of them can be worked around. My husband also takes a bunch of meds that make it really difficult for him to get hard, but I've learned a bunch of techniques to work around that.

Although my husband isn't really into all the porned out lingerie either ...
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post #92 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 08:39 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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No one said anything about requiring NEW role play costumes each time!
Humor fail.
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post #93 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 03:53 PM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Humor fail.
Humour fixed.
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post #94 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 11:31 PM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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I didn't address his meeting or not meeting your needs because that's a completely separate topic and has nothing to do with normal views of sexuality.
Huh?

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #95 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 03:52 PM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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I didn't address his meeting or not meeting your needs because that's a completely separate topic and has nothing to do with normal views of sexuality.

OMG



@TheTruthHurts when is the last time you saw a clothing store full of very opinionated and passionate husbands insisting their wives keep trying harder to find something that looks nice? Nope... most men could care less what their wife wears, so here is what husbands look like when decision making is going on for lingerie:



If anything, most of those men are thinking if they could sneak off and get back in time to eat a cheeseburger without getting caught!

Badsanta

PS: OMG, I just noticed the one guy staring at his watch standing next to the door in the back. He is probably more worried about missing kickoff than whatever bra his wife buys or does not buy.
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post #96 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 06:05 PM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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OMG


@TheTruthHurts when is the last time you saw a clothing store full of very opinionated and passionate husbands insisting their wives keep trying harder to find something that looks nice? Nope... most men could care less what their wife wears, so here is what husbands look like when decision making is going on for lingerie:
Actually, it would seem that some men are actually very demanding about what women should and should not wear.

Of course, my opinion is that women should ignore these demands entirely. There is, IMHO, altogether too much pressure on women to conform to ideals set by others. And ultimately? Well, women need to determine their own identity for themselves.
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post #97 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 07:08 PM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
Just an observation.............. the couple of men here that are basically saying she is the one with the problem and what is the big deal about dressing up every time are also men with dysfunctional sex lives, hmmmm.



OP it sounds like you have reached your limit and rightly so, what your husband wants is neither well balanced or flattering. A partner should make you feel truly wanted and desired or they run the risk of losing you. He has issues and unless he makes the decision to change his behaviour then this is it for the rest of your life. Don't waste your best years on a man that isn't worth it.



Dressing up is a lot of fun and so is sex, but a good healthy sex life is where both partners get their needs met and do not have to every day sacrifice their needs for the other. A good man is one that wants to devour his wife no matter what she is or isn't wearing, one that wants his hands all over you without you having to dress up.



For some perspective, MrH is mid 50's and wants me whether I am all sweaty after the gym or if I am dressed to the nines and wearing killer heels. We do role play, I have a big lingerie collection but it is about fun and those things are thrown in for variety. Would bore me stupid and feel insulting to have to dress up every night. I could not respect or keep my desire for a man/child like this.



Time for a serious talk with your husband, the rest of your sexual life is on the line here.


I'm skipping around on this thread - sorry I usually read from the beginning so I don't post complete crap - but I have to call you out @MrsHolland. In fact, from all the prior posts I've read of yours, you are a very open minded, very sensual / sexual person. I know that sounds weird to say, but my point is that I'm sure you're very open and available to your H and genuinely enjoy him. So, I'm sorry, but I suspect your sweaty self can still be a sexy, desirable self. Clothes are just another way to show your desire... I'm sure yours comes through. Many women have difficulty showing that desire because of FOO issues and upbringing.

Since I didn't actually read the whole thread, I'm ready to stipulate that OP's H is a loser, unfeeling, unromantic guy if the people I respect on TAM say so. I only posted because what I did read talked only about dressing up and I never fault man or woman who lays out their preferences to help with arousal


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post #98 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 06:34 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post
I'm skipping around on this thread - sorry I usually read from the beginning so I don't post complete crap - but I have to call you out @MrsHolland. In fact, from all the prior posts I've read of yours, you are a very open minded, very sensual / sexual person. I know that sounds weird to say, but my point is that I'm sure you're very open and available to your H and genuinely enjoy him. So, I'm sorry, but I suspect your sweaty self can still be a sexy, desirable self. Clothes are just another way to show your desire... I'm sure yours comes through. Many women have difficulty showing that desire because of FOO issues and upbringing.

Since I didn't actually read the whole thread, I'm ready to stipulate that OP's H is a loser, unfeeling, unromantic guy if the people I respect on TAM say so. I only posted because what I did read talked only about dressing up and I never fault man or woman who lays out their preferences to help with arousal


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I don't quite get what you are calling me out on. Yes I am open minded and a sexual being, yes I feel comfortable in my gym gear. My point to the OP was more about my partner desiring me no matter if it is sweaty gym gear or dressed up and everything in between. There is no need for me to pretend to be anyone else for him, he likes me for me.

This is not what the OPs husband does, he wants her to be anything other than herself and that would feel pretty demoralising. If he likes her to dress up that is fine but IMHO it is only OK if she actually enjoys it and it is not a pre requisite for him being able to get it up.
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post #99 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 08:24 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Originally Posted by TheTruthHurts View Post

He may appear LD simply because you show an unwillingness to meet his needs, or somehow shame him for them
The term you are searching for is "being a boner killer"
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post #100 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 08:27 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

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Originally Posted by wild jade View Post
Actually, it would seem that some men are actually very demanding about what women should and should not wear.

Of course, my opinion is that women should ignore these demands entirely
. There is, IMHO, altogether too much pressure on women to conform to ideals set by others. And ultimately? Well, women need to determine their own identity for themselves.
that is fine, just so long as you do not mind him completely ignoring YOU sexually in return.
Sex is a negotiation. If your immediate response is to ignore or ridicule the man, he will stop trying, and may even find a woman who does not treat him so poorly.
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post #101 of 101 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 09:55 AM
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Re: Husband always wants me to dress up for him to have sex.

I agree if its "demanding". OTOH, doing things that please your partner is great if they do the same for you.

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Originally Posted by wild jade View Post
Actually, it would seem that some men are actually very demanding about what women should and should not wear.

Of course, my opinion is that women should ignore these demands entirely. There is, IMHO, altogether too much pressure on women to conform to ideals set by others. And ultimately? Well, women need to determine their own identity for themselves.
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