Just an observation.............. the couple of men here that are basically saying she is the one with the problem and what is the big deal about dressing up every time are also men with dysfunctional sex lives, hmmmm.
OP it sounds like you have reached your limit and rightly so, what your husband wants is neither well balanced or flattering. A partner should make you feel truly wanted and desired or they run the risk of losing you. He has issues and unless he makes the decision to change his behaviour then this is it for the rest of your life. Don't waste your best years on a man that isn't worth it.
Dressing up is a lot of fun and so is sex, but a good healthy sex life is where both partners get their needs met and do not have to every day sacrifice their needs for the other. A good man is one that wants to devour his wife no matter what she is or isn't wearing, one that wants his hands all over you without you having to dress up.
For some perspective, MrH is mid 50's and wants me whether I am all sweaty after the gym or if I am dressed to the nines and wearing killer heels. We do role play, I have a big lingerie collection but it is about fun and those things are thrown in for variety. Would bore me stupid and feel insulting to have to dress up every night. I could not respect or keep my desire for a man/child like this.
Time for a serious talk with your husband, the rest of your sexual life is on the line here.
I'm skipping around on this thread - sorry I usually read from the beginning so I don't post complete crap - but I have to call you out @MrsHolland
. In fact, from all the prior posts I've read of yours, you are a very open minded, very sensual / sexual person. I know that sounds weird to say, but my point is that I'm sure you're very open and available to your H and genuinely enjoy him. So, I'm sorry, but I suspect your sweaty self can still be a sexy, desirable self. Clothes are just another way to show your desire... I'm sure yours comes through. Many women have difficulty showing that desire because of FOO issues and upbringing.
Since I didn't actually read the whole thread, I'm ready to stipulate that OP's H is a loser, unfeeling, unromantic guy if the people I respect on TAM say so. I only posted because what I did read talked only about dressing up and I never fault man or woman who lays out their preferences to help with arousal
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