lonesomegra

Hi first post here so I'll try to be brief. I have many issues in my shaky marriage but I will focus in on just one thing for now. I seem to have one rather strange aspect of experience or non-experience as it were that I have not found yet anywhere else on the internet. As a man married for 17+ years I have never ever kissed any other woman on the lips other than my first girlfriend who is now my wife. There is no religious moral strictness behind this - it is what it is.
I count myself lucky to be married as my first kiss did not come until I was 22. I wasn't a virgin at marriage we slept together before making vows. My query here is: Does a lack of experience lead to strong feelings of curiousity arising later in a marriage? Due to current problems I am only now wondering what it's like kiss someone else but it was so hard to get one woman that this is highly unlikely to happen again. Thanks for reading!

straightforward

dont get too curious it may lead to you cheating on your wife and you dont want to go there at all. maybe you should start with the shaky stuff in your marriage which may be what is causing your curiosity to kiss someone else and deal with those issues. once you make sense of everything else hopefully you'll keep your good sense and not want to stray elsewhere.

2nd_t!me iz_best

concentrate on what you have. thats where all your energy should be going.
if you think this and go ahead and kiss someone else and like it, where can that lead?
what would it be like to have sex with someone else?
what then?
going to throw away a marriage for that?
hope not.

EleGirl

Ok, i've kissed a fair number of men. I can tell you kissing one is just like kissing another.

Think of eating your favorite dessert. Let's say its chocolate cake. Is eating one piece of chocolate cake different from eating another piece? Nope, it’s all chocolate cake.

It is our promiscuous society that puts though in people’s heads that somehow kissing different people is as though each one was a different kind of desert. It’s not… kissing one person is like kissing another person. BUT kissing someone you love is the best.

Maybe you could have some fun with your curiosity… find out about different kinds of kisses and you and your wife can have fun with it.

Maybe on some nights you could each find different kinds of kisses and surprise each other. Or make a night of just kissing … no sex.. just drive each other nuts with kisses.

26 Different Kinds
of Kisses
26 Kinds of Kisses - TRUE U Magazine

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2nd_t!me iz_best

good points.

the best thing about a kiss is not so much the kiss its self but more the person you are kissing and the feelings behind it.
cant beat a kiss from the one you love. that is what makes it best.

lonesomegra

Thank you all for your replies so far. I like the suggestion about the different types of kisses! I read the linked article and found it quite educational.
Up until recently I regarded myself as very 'non-curious' but now due to changes in my life I have started to think and wonder in ways that I never did before. Okay I have had my fair share of bedroom fantasies about other women but I have never acted on them. My biggest flaw is that I get crushes on other women. I understand them to be crushes and I always rationalize them away. I get in a fluster if I think any woman is coming on to me too strong. As I stated above I do not feel that I will act on this kissing other women impulse but it is more a case that I wonder will lack of experience leave me feeling empty as the years pass by. Due to the web I am forever learning new aspects to sex and relationships and I regard myself as 'Homer Simpson' clueless as to lots of things in life.
I will elaborate in other threads on various other aspects that have colored my marriage over the years but right now I am very interested in learning how inexperience plays an affect on matrimony and especially those in the 10 years and more bracket.
Thanks for taking the time out to read this.

romantic_guy

My wife was not my first kiss, but we got married at 16 and 17 so I did not have much experience before that...maybe 3 or 4 other girls. I will say that my then girlfriend now wife was the BEST kisser I had ever had (maybe that is what led to her getting pregnant at 16!!). Anyway, 39 years and I have never wanted to kiss another, or have sex with anther for that matter. Sure, there have been fleeting thoughts of, "I wonder what it would be like..." but it always comes down to, why would I steal a Fiat when I have Mercedes in the garage?"

__________________
The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)

sigma1299

Well I've certainly never kissed a man but my personal experience kissing women is not this. In my experience, like everything else, there is a certain amount of skill involved.

My first serious girlfriend was a friend of my first kiss. That GF told me that the girl who was my first kiss told her I was horrible. My GF confirmed that I was in fact a horrible kisser. Fortunately my GF elected to teach me instead of dump me. After some instruction from her she declared me skilled. I never had a complaint after that and actually usually got a compliment for being a good kisser.

Obviously being in love with each other always makes it better!!