Preparing myself for a threesome - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 04:20 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

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Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
I wonder if the best approach is to hire a professional. An escort who is being paid to let the OP experience sex with another woman, and a 3-some, but very clear boundaries about any emotional attachment. No pretending or thinking someone is in love. I financial transaction, not to be repeated except by joint consent.



I'm not in any way saying this solves all the problems, but it might help with some of them.


That's the only way I would have EVER considered it... but I still felt there was too much at stake in my marriage to risk it.


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post #47 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 06:55 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Some good responses. @TaDor seemed most helpful in regards to reference material. Several left their judgements behind.

Personally I feel for you because you were born with your sexuality - I know mine is a huge part of who I am.

I'm glad you reached out - on TAM as elsewhere we have varied perspectives and experiences and if you can stand the occasional frontal assault you are better off for the feedback.

Good luck and keep posting. I think your perspectives can benefit others.

My family - wife and kids - think I'm nuts to spend time on TAM. My marriage is good. My W worries all you nutty folks will put bad ideas in my head ha ha. But I like a broader view of life than the see in my daily routine, and since I'm unleashing my amazing kids into the wild in short order it doesn't hurt me to see what's going on in the world.

Personally I love the pro idea. If you have an itch and this is who you are, and you go to Nevada you can probably have an amazing time for the two of you if you save up. He11 you can probably get 2 women and lavish your H with attention while you itch your scratch. Win/win. I also love the phone sex and strip club ideas. All are "safer" options and H might feel better giving you an experience he knows you'll appreciate. Good luck


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post #48 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 07:02 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

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Hi there all, so Husband and I have been married for a little over 6 years and we have a good relationship. H knows that I am bisexual and just until this year he has become comfortable enough to let me be with another female sexually. Recently our sex life and relationship has been amazing and our communication has been better than ever. We have both talked about a threesome being a fantasy but I find it extremely hard to put the jealousy aside. He is OK with just watching me with a girl but I'd like to try the threesome because it's something I've always fantasizes about. I love him and know he loves me with all his might, but I'm insecure of myself and that doesn't help the situation. What can I do to help prepare myself enough to eventually be able to experience this? Also how could I go about finding a female to join?
don't do it, unless your ready to open the whole can of worms.
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post #49 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 07:19 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Ground rules and lots of communication. For me, we sleep with others on occasions. There is a cool down time as it were and we avoid sleeping with the same people or hanging out with them outside of sex. Prior to this relationship, I had a FWB that no matter how many times we had sex, we never went past friends as we had no romantic feelings for the other. I did have a FWB that developed feelings. So, my current way works best for me and my partner. I guess it is called monogamish and you can find out more if you listen to Dan Savage.

Some people will not know how they will respond until they try. It could be an amazing experience, fall flat on its face or okay. Really, until anyone tries it, they never know how they will respond. There could be negative or positive results.

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post #50 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 01:02 AM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Quote:
Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
I wonder if the best approach is to hire a professional. An escort who is being paid to let the OP experience sex with another woman, and a 3-some, but very clear boundaries about any emotional attachment. No pretending or thinking someone is in love. I financial transaction, not to be repeated except by joint consent.

I'm not in any way saying this solves all the problems, but it might help with some of them.
Actually, many couples have gone this route with a professional to avoid such pitfalls. Things is, there are lots of women online asking for 3somes with another woman, either direction.

@ Mr.Fisty : Yep, I've had many FWB. Only a few became attached and wanted more and that is when I ended the sex. I warned them too. I am still friends with those who wanted "more" except one because she was nuts in a possibly dangerous way.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.

Last edited by TaDor; 02-10-2017 at 01:19 AM.
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post #51 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-10-2017, 01:13 AM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

@EllaSuaveterre : Both my wife and myself did things to PLEASE the other doing the OR period - which was a mistake. We would have dialed back big-time. I actually never had jealousy issues. Just the concerns, then drama when she started cheating.

Hell, I still I still have pics/vids of our adventures - they don't trigger me or anything else negative. None of the stuff we did that was open, bothered me. But the image of her AP or thought of her doing anything with the POSOM would be negative - even so much as touching fingers. I used to trigger, but I can discuss it like an old memory now.

You brought up good points about looking out for each other. When we were just dating and not knowing we'd be serious - we did a 3some. She had an "uh oh. I don't wanna" look and I ended it. I made up an excuse and we went to my place. Then we got serious, marriage, kid, etc. It would be years before we did anything like that again - It would take about 12 months to go from okay to affair/breakup. Its lucky that we do have some friends who support us being together, even when some of them used to be play-partners.

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post #52 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 04:53 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Don't Do It. Flat out, DO NOT!!! I agree with quite a few posters above
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post #53 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-13-2017, 10:55 PM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Hi,
Please leave it as a fantasy. You may think to live it is fantastic; however, this threesome deal, if you carry it out it will be forever engraved in your mind and his. It will be tagged in you heart every time you look at each other. It will be a close friend like that small headache in your temple that never goes away. Don't even bring another woman into your home for sex. Eventually both acts will eat at your husband and ruin both of your lives.

If you must do it, do it where your husband don't know you did it and keep it a secret. You then can cross it off your bucket list.
He will not be the wiser just as long as you can keep the lie going. Is there anything else you can share with your husband what you would like to do that is kinky without bringing anyone else in your bed?

Good luck. Don't do it anymore.
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post #54 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:00 AM
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Cool Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Don't do it period! Trusting, loving sex between committed spouses was never ever meant to be that way!

You have way too much emotionally invested in each other rather than to up and throw it all away in what is nothing more than a sheer moment of lurid carnal curiosity!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #55 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 05:42 AM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

Have to agree with everyone else. This will be the cancer that eats away at your marriage. You are already having concerns, which means that you know deep down it's not going to end well.
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post #56 of 56 (permalink) Old 02-14-2017, 10:33 AM
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Re: Preparing myself for a threesome

many years ago I had a GF that was bi curious, as time went on we discussed it at length and eventually agreed to a threesome. When the partner was found it happened to be a mutual friend that was married and very bi. As the discussion about logistics went on one weekend with the friend included she suggested that if we really wanted to give it a try she would only do it under one condition, that first we have one with her husband and the next weekend with her. It came to light that he had seen me semi erect while changing at the gym and for some reason all of a sudden decided he wanted to try a bi threesome with me and my GF. Well the next weekend was a three day weekend and Friday was M, M, G It was amazing I never thought seeing a man do me would be such a wild thrill and would have never thought him doing my GF would be so wild, I even tried him orally and it was OK not something I'd pursue on a regular basis but not bad.
Saturday was even more wild watching the two of them and being invited to fill in anywhere I wanted and all three of us rotating through the possibilities.
We ended spending Sunday and Monday with all four of us and that was the best weekend GF and I ever had, sadly she discovered that she really liked the bi end of it more and more. Last I seen her was commited to another woman.
My point I guess to prepare maybe discuss all the possibilities and guage each or your emotional responses
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