birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 02:34 AM Thread Starter
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birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

my wife and i have been together for 16 years been married for 12 great years. we have a five year old son whom we both love very much but we have decided we really dont want any MORE kids. the cost of raising one child is astronomical these days and he already eats us out of house and home. i am currently away from the home and wont be back for another month. i have started a new carrier (CDL truck driver) and the only way i can gain experience and get a local job is to drive with a large company. i am currently in training which is about 2 months of not being home. my wife has been taking the pill for the last 15 years but she is currently experiencing high blood pressure so she had to come off of it. its possible after she gets it back under control she might go back on it for a short period of time, but the end is near for her pill usage. she is 35 years old and cannot stay on the pill for the rest of her life. right now i am not home so it doesnt matter that she is lapsed from the pill right now. we are both suffering from sexual tension that is building up and when i eventually go home we will vent on each other (not in a bad way lol). condoms are out of the question. we both agree that we HATE them for our purposes. we feel that it separates us with a piece of latex. we share a committed, exclusive, monogamous, and intimate bond. frankly we are inseparable till death do us part. we watch other people around us cheat, divorce, and generally act like pigs but not us. anytime i read any literature about having sex without a condom with the goal of ONLY preventing pregnancy i end up reading about condoms and STDS. frankly neither one of us cares about STDS because we arent bringing a stranger into the bedroom. its just me and her and we are both clean.

i have decided to get vasectomy when i finally get off this trainer's truck. in the meantime we need to have some birth control that does not involve separating us with latex. yes i do finish inside of her, frankly we both enjoy it and i think being in the relationship we are in that should not be taboo. when i get home we both have tension to relieve.

i was wondering are of the non barrier, non hormonal methods effective? one has caught my interest, its called VCF or vaginal contraceptive film. the website says its 94% effective when used as instructed WITHOUT use of a condom. the website says safe effective birth control you both cant feel. its a spermicide product.

are there dangers to her for remaining on the pill too long, it has worked for us but her health is of great concern and i dont want her to get cancer or something from being on it too long. i also know her libido does suffer from the pill. it is time she gets off of it but we were hoping it could wait till i got a vasectomy.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 09:10 AM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

Unfortunately condoms and a vasectomy are the only two reliable forms of birth control available to men. While there is also coitus interruptus it sound as if you have no interest in pulling out.

The other barrier methods you mentioned are just as problematic as condoms as most women are sensitive to the chemicals used in spermicides (can create a burning or irritating sensation).

My advice would be to change your perspective on condoms and use them as a way to appreciate the day that you will no longer need them. Use the fact that you don't like them to your advantage and try to make yourself feel like a teenager that can't wait for the day that you will no longer need them. That in itself can create some very fun moments and sensations for you and your wife to explore. Besides, variety is the spice of life.

Lambskin condoms would be the best if you have never tried one. They can be awkward at first because they are produced from a biological product, but they do NOT feel like the same barrier that latex creates.

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 09:18 AM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

My girl has an IUD and has been doing it's job for a year now. But I'm getting a vasectomy in a few months just for good measure. Even after I get a v, she's going to keep the IUD up to date. She doesn't get periods with it, so she loves it. And that means she's open for business 365 days a year!
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 09:50 AM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyInColorado View Post
My girl has an IUD and has been doing it's job for a year now. But I'm getting a vasectomy in a few months just for good measure. Even after I get a v, she's going to keep the IUD up to date. She doesn't get periods with it, so she loves it. And that means she's open for business 365 days a year!
This. I had a vasectomy years ago. She went off her IUD when it was due to "run out" soon after I had the procedure done. She went back on within a year to avoid her period since there was no appreciable difference in her hormones/moods/libido/etc when she whether she was on/off it.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-08-2017, 02:20 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

An IUD or a diaphragm is the best if you cant do rubbers. My wife's first pregnancy was difficult. She was gestationally diabetic, and the baby weight was low. We had a difficult time conceiving, and were pretty much not using anything UNTIL...7 years later, when we got the big surprise. This time the pregnancy was WORSE. She was spotting at the 6 month mark, and we got the news that she was placenta previa. (Leave it up to my son to paint himself into a corner). She spent the balance of the pregnancy in bed, I had to make arrangements to be able to be home within 15 minutes (I switched jobs so that I could be available on a moments notice), I came home at lunch to empty the bedpan and make lunch. (I loved having lunch at home with her, however) I would take her, very gingerly, to her weekly OB/GYN appointments. Of course, my son was born by caesarean section, but just before she was to go under, she grabbed my collar, and said, "Guess who's getting fixed?" Made the doctor's appointment the next day.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:33 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

Im 48 and on my third Mirena IUD. Love love love it.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 05:55 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

I'm married to a CDL-A truck driver. It may be different where you live, but here it's impossible to get a local job without at least 6-9 months OTR experience. Most driving jobs that aren't OTR are regional. The regional jobs get you home more often than the OTR jobs, but there is still a significant amount of time away each week. It may be a while before you're home long enough to schedule a vasectomy, have the surgery, and heal. After the surgery, you'll have to go back for sperm checks a couple of times over a period of 6-9 weeks or so before you can stop using a back up method. All considered, I think a copper (non-hormonal) IUD would be perfect.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 06:42 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

I have a Mirena IUD. I had to get it because of my high blood pressure. There is 1 birth control pill that is safe for women with high blood pressure however I didn't dig it. I tried it before getting the IUD. I can't remember the name of it though.

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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 08:53 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

I am posting as a fellow citizen - not a mod.

Nineteen years ago I got my vasectomy on a Friday, returned to work on Monday and never looked back. Best thing I ever did.

You are taking a very large financial risk to avoid using condoms for a very short time. No one 'likes' condoms. I personally hate them. They are however highly effective and for the short time frame you describe, they are the smart move.

I've been married for 26, together with M2 for near 28 years.

So let me share a couple friendly observations. Your marriage may or may not go the distance. You will only know for certain at the end. Clearly your intentions are good which is a great foundation for any marriage.

That said, the most common reason for divorce is financial conflict. Finishing inside your wife greatly increases the odds of an outcome you clearly don't want. This type of high risk behavior is common in younger males. It isn't typically what males in their mid thirties do.

As for this last bit, I hope you take it to heart and recognize the helpful spirit in which it is offered.

The difference between a male and a man is big. A male competes with others and is focused on winning. A man competes with himself and focuses on succeeding. A male often competes by putting others down. A man is able to collaborate and often lifts others up.

End of old man (well intentioned) lecture.




Quote:
Originally Posted by ad356 View Post
my wife and i have been together for 16 years been married for 12 great years. we have a five year old son whom we both love very much but we have decided we really dont want any MORE kids. the cost of raising one child is astronomical these days and he already eats us out of house and home. i am currently away from the home and wont be back for another month. i have started a new carrier (CDL truck driver) and the only way i can gain experience and get a local job is to drive with a large company. i am currently in training which is about 2 months of not being home. my wife has been taking the pill for the last 15 years but she is currently experiencing high blood pressure so she had to come off of it. its possible after she gets it back under control she might go back on it for a short period of time, but the end is near for her pill usage. she is 35 years old and cannot stay on the pill for the rest of her life. right now i am not home so it doesnt matter that she is lapsed from the pill right now. we are both suffering from sexual tension that is building up and when i eventually go home we will vent on each other (not in a bad way lol). condoms are out of the question. we both agree that we HATE them for our purposes. we feel that it separates us with a piece of latex. we share a committed, exclusive, monogamous, and intimate bond. frankly we are inseparable till death do us part. we watch other people around us cheat, divorce, and generally act like pigs but not us. anytime i read any literature about having sex without a condom with the goal of ONLY preventing pregnancy i end up reading about condoms and STDS. frankly neither one of us cares about STDS because we arent bringing a stranger into the bedroom. its just me and her and we are both clean.

i have decided to get vasectomy when i finally get off this trainer's truck. in the meantime we need to have some birth control that does not involve separating us with latex. yes i do finish inside of her, frankly we both enjoy it and i think being in the relationship we are in that should not be taboo. when i get home we both have tension to relieve.

i was wondering are of the non barrier, non hormonal methods effective? one has caught my interest, its called VCF or vaginal contraceptive film. the website says its 94% effective when used as instructed WITHOUT use of a condom. the website says safe effective birth control you both cant feel. its a spermicide product.

are there dangers to her for remaining on the pill too long, it has worked for us but her health is of great concern and i dont want her to get cancer or something from being on it too long. i also know her libido does suffer from the pill. it is time she gets off of it but we were hoping it could wait till i got a vasectomy.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 09:20 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

Learn her cycle and avoid sex -- or, at the very least, internal ejaculation -- in the 3-5 days surrounding ovulation.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."

Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-09-2017, 10:00 PM
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Re: birth control that DOES NOT involve a condom

IUD or Diaphragm. Neither are hormonal.

Why isn't your wife talking to her OB/GYN about birth control options?

Get a vasectomy!

"Some women are blessed with multi-orgasmic ability for a reason and I'm damn sure not going to waste a blessing" ~FrenchFry

"Vaginas are tricky creatures." ~Lucy999
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