I think her LD is far more deeply rooted. It's intrinsic to who she is, to simply not need or think about sex that much. An HD person has sex no matter what their weight or treatment. An LD person uses weight as an excuse not to have sex. An HD person would leap at the chance to improve their sex life with therapy. An LD person avoid sex therapy like the plague.
You are unhappy about two separate things. Her unhealthy weight, and her low interest in sex. Don't pressure her to fix her weight thinking it will also fix the LD issue.
Why not go to a sex therapist by yourself? You might get some ideas for making her feel desirable despite her weight, or what you can do to trigger responsive desire, or techniques to use to enhance her pleasure and make sex more enjoyable for her.
One thing I learned the hard way about LD is that it can develop when one partner doesn't get anything out of sex, that the idea of sex has become all about the other person. The more you tell her sex is important to YOU, the more she'll feel it's a chore for HER. Being heavy could be her way of trying to make you want sex less, like a shield of unattractiveness.
You're right. Nailed it pretty good.
I can go to a sex therapist? To find ways to have more sex with my LD wife? Better sexual aids/toys? I need a way to lower my adventurous sex drive or increase hers. I am physical so that works for me more than talking. My main love language is physical rating 12 (highest).
I could still have sex every day and sometimes multiple times a day, or in an hour......but I can lower it to say 3x week. Even at 3x week, that's just enough for me not to relieve myself and / or view porn. Basically zero porn and zero relieving myself. The urges are totally controlled and I honestly forget about porn altogether. No, I don't view porn every day, more like 1x month when my sex drive is that bad.
I don't think being heavy is a shield against Mrs.CuddleBug and I having sex. She was heavy when we got married and in her high school years. She's always been that way but has never gone to a gym, life style change, eat better to get healthier and over the years, the weight would come off and then its maintenance. It's motivating her is the real issue.
Would you rather eats treats and junk food, chillin' on the couch, a nice cold beverage, watch some tv, laptop, maybe a nap OR go to the gym for an hour?
With my sex toy, I get it out of my system and never pester Mrs.CuddleBug for sex anymore. No more endless rejections with excuses.