So you're saying its too much and unrealistic for someone to take care of themselves, their spouse and marriage? WOW.
I didn't say that at all. I said that your expectations for your wife are unrealistic. She has always been this way. Expecting her to change who she fundamentally is – that’s unrealistic. She isn’t the type of person who wants to take care of herself, her spouse, and her marriage; at least not in the way that you want her to. That’s the woman you married. Expecting that to change is unrealistic. She isn’t going to change who she is.
You seem extremely frustrated and unhappy with that part of who she is. You can’t change her, so what are you going to do? Remain in a state of extreme frustration and unhappiness over it or make a change in your circumstances that does not require anything of your wife?
I take care of myself. I eat well and exercise regularly. I’m in decent shape. I don’t think it’s unrealistic since I’m living it. I do, however, think it’s unrealistic to expect it of someone who shows no propensity to be like this.
Is it unrealistic for me to want my wife to get in shape? NO.
Wanting it and expecting it or two entirely different things. You are upset with her and your life with her because she will not comply with your wishes. You think what you are asking is perfectly reasonable and doable and your wife should comply. If your wife agreed, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. She clearly does not share your view and she never will. You cannot change her to what you want her to be. What are you going to do about your situation?
Is it unrealistic for me to want my wife to get a healthy sex drive? NO.
Do you think you are entitled to what you want? It appears that you consider what you want to be what you ought have. How’s that working out for you?
I take care of my body. So can she.
For some reason she doesn’t want to. It’s her body and her life. She does with it what she wants. You do with your body and your life what you want. She wants your sex drive to decrease. Is he asking what’s wrong with you that you want too damn much sex? Should you decrease your drive to make her happy?
I have a healthy sex drive and am open to almost anything you can imagine. Anything she wants to try, I'm game.
Apparently she is trying everything she wants to try and it’s not good enough for you.
I can change and adapt, better myself, open to new things. So can she.
But she doesn’t want to. I don’t see you adapting to her. Why should she adapt to you if you aren’t adapting to her?
I have changed so much over the 17 years but she has remained almost the same. Only thing she did was get braces to straighten her teeth and I had to push her to do it. Now that the braces are off and her teeth are amazing, no longer insecure to smile, she wished she would of done this way back instead of nothing.
Looks like she’s done some adapting to your wishes. She even put up with the pain of braces to increase her attractiveness to you.
It's almost like Mrs.CuddleBug has a mental disorder or something and can't adapt, learn and change to better herself. She has to be pushed and her hand held or nothing happens.
I thought that living in a world of make believe was a mental disorder.
She still talks with her parents and sister almost every day after work for 1 to 2 hours and they live 10 minutes away.
Apparently they are her best friends. They probably accept her exactly for who she is.