Re: Time for little update
You sound miserable and depressed.
The hardest part is accepting it's never going to get better and take action. Go see an attorney first. You need to see what a divorce will look like financially and make sure you don't make any mistakes. Accept it, you're going to lose 50% of all your crap. Yes, it's crap. You will make more money and be able to buy more crap. I'm 13 months since separation and 8 months since divorce. I'm still paying off debt and working on buying another house. But I also just got engaged, so that set me back a little. Worth every cent. I am young at 35, so I have time on my side. The joke "Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's fcking worth it!!" is soo so soooo true!
I'll say, the first couple weeks is hard living on your own. Not able to sleep and being scared to start over. But once you connect with another woman and see what you've been missing, it's all worth it. It took me 4 weeks to find my fiance, so I got lucky I suppose. But I detached years ago from my ex wife, so I was ready to move on quickly. No sex for 4yrs will do that!
Man up and leave her. It's the right thing to do for you and her. She checked out of your marriage a long time ago.
However, from your posts, I don't think you'll do it. You are too much of a nice guy and worried about hurting her feelings and disappointing friends and family. You need to realize only you can make yourself happy. Only she can make herself happy. This is your one and only life, so live it up. Don't waste it like so many wimps do.
Finally, you need to realize she DOESN'T want to have sex. This is why she gained the weight. It's her defense shield to keep you from desiring her. Think about that. That is grounds for a divorce. Give it to her.