Mrs.CuddleBug said to me today, we don't do that much together and communicate, etc. I told her, you have a very low sex drive and need to lose 80+ lbs. I don't see you doing anything and that would go a very long way. No response from Mrs.CuddleBug.
What a horrible, contemptuous and condescending attitude to take with your wife! Do you hear yourself talking? She probably thinks you HATE her and why would she want to do anything you want?
Maybe try saying something like "you're right honey, we should spend more time together. Want to take an evening walk and talk with me?"
I'd say we have a great marriage, just not a physical sexual marriage.
I doubt your wife thinks it's a great marriage, if you treat her the way you described above.
Its sad that LD spouses never have to change, we shouldn't of married them, its all our fault, etc.
How about this? LD spouses know they are LD and why don't they do some changing? Why is it one sided?
That's just the way LD is. It's intrinsic and they can't change it any more than you can change HD. The solution is part ways, not to expect her to magically change with weight loss.
Mrs.CuddleBug is a kind, loving, smart, caring woman. Great qualities in a wife. True.
That explains why she puts up with your attitude.
If Mrs.CuddleBug got off her butt, got in shape, made up for the last 17 years of 1x month sex, yah, I'd be the happiest guy out there. No question about that.
I doubt that very much. You simply sound like a mean guy, and that doesn't change without hard work on your part.
If your wife suddenly got in shape, she's not going to want to have more sex with you. She'll still be an LD person, and you'd still be a jerk.
Any woman that only wants sex 1x month, is not for me.
So why stay married to one?
A loving and sexual wife should be taking care of her mans needs and rocking his world, out of love and take care of his needs as her own and being his wife. This goes the other way as well, us guys taking care of our ladies needs.
If the guy is always physically and sexually starved, the wife isn't being very loving and taking care of him. Only herself.
That is a very selfish attitude! Sex isn't something the wife does for the man, like a chore. Sex is a mutual pleasure, to be had at a mutually agreed upon frequency. If you don't find your partner's frequency to your satisfaction, you don't marry that person, you keep dating until you find a more compatible one!
You have an antiquated idea of marriage, if you think the woman is supposed to be a sex toy for the husband no matter what her feelings are, and you're sharing your upset on TAM because she's not holding up her end of this imagined bargain you have.
I think your demanding, demeaning attitude towards your wife is hurting your wife. No wonder she doesn't have any motivation to do better in the marriage and spends so much time on the phone with her family. She obviously isn't getting emotional support from you. Instead she is a fat, unattractive, lazy, foolish, disappointment to you. You're never going to see a change in the direction you want it. As long as you hang onto your view that you are right and must be obeyed in the things you have outlined, your marriage will continue to go down hill as the distance between you grows.
I feel bad for your wife. Does she ever tell you that you're mean?
She's probably too nice to say something like that, but I have no doubt that she feels it.