Dying for a good sex life - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #76 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 04:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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Originally Posted by hifromme67 View Post
Oh wow...are you married to my husband??


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I think it's common and men like don't get it.
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post #77 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 04:37 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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I think it's common and men like don't get it.
Be advised , it is really HARD for him to believe it takes you that long to warm up - cause he ain't like that.
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post #78 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 07:16 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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He tried to go to sleep before finishing me off... hahahahahahaha he had another thing coming. He's so silly.

Good for you!!
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post #79 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 09:43 AM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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I feel I'm in a similar boat as the OP except I'm a man. My SO rarely pursues me (maybe once a month), I get shot down for sex probably 90% of the time. It's gotten to the point where I'm just unplugged. She talks about how her last husband cheated on her but he never told her the relationship was toxic to give her a chance to fix it. When I tell her what I need, instead of listening to me, she flips it and makes it about her. Says it makes her feel like she isn't good enough because I want it more than once a month (3x-4x a week is my need level). I do everything for her and I'm always there when she needs me, when she is hurting, or is overwhelmed by something. I continually take on more and more to alleviate what stresses her, but then I'm left out in the cold. I want pursued. I want desired. I want chased some. I want complimented now and then.
Wait, are we married to the same woman?!
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post #80 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 05:16 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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Be advised , it is really HARD for him to believe it takes you that long to warm up - cause he ain't like that.

you can rev yourself up before he gets home. read a kinky book or watch some porn or a sexy movie, put on some lingerie, and when he walks in the door jump his bones. Do NOT give him a chance to lie down on the couch and fall asleep, do him first. If you want to get his head into it, text him a picture of you in that lingerie as he is getting into his car....get his mind fixed on getting laid.
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post #81 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 08:03 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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you can rev yourself up before he gets home. read a kinky book or watch some porn or a sexy movie, put on some lingerie, and when he walks in the door jump his bones. Do NOT give him a chance to lie down on the couch and fall asleep, do him first. If you want to get his head into it, text him a picture of you in that lingerie as he is getting into his car....get his mind fixed on getting laid.
@Talker67 you know good and well it does not work that way. Women get all revved up with stuff like watching us husbands install new custom bathroom cabinetry, or us taking our wives shoe shopping and out for dinner and a few glasses of wine. That is not exactly something that works so well solo.
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post #82 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 08:15 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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I get that he works a ton. I'm just tired of it. Everyday it's the same thing with the same outcome.
What I do, has no affect on anything. It doesn't matter if I'm home or not, if I go to bed early or late. If the house is a complete mess or amazingly clean. If I cook dinner or not. Nothing matters. He doesn't complain. Ever. He comes home half asleep, and quickly falls asleep no matter what I do.

He complains about not having enough sex, but does nothing to change it. And I get that he can't help it if he's tired. But every time he says something about sex it drives me insane!!!! Like I literally just offered to drive up to the hospital so we can have an afternoon delight in the on call room because I know he will be operating all day and late tonight. He said that he will be in the OR for the next 4-5hrs. (Not the response I wanted to hear). Then he says to me... if we don't have sex tonight I'm going to go insane. (Which the only reason why we won't have sex is because of him not me!) so I said to him... if you want to have sex tonight then make it happen. And he responds... it goes both ways Katie. Which pissed me off!!' I said I just offered you my ***** on a platter, I offered to drive the 30-45min drive one way to have sex in a gross on call room in a hospital and then drive the 30-45mins back home so don't tell me it goes both ways.

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Stop talking, and just DO IT, just rip off his clothes and seduce him, this isn't that hard.
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post #83 of 109 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 08:17 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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It was great before. He wanted to have sex more than me. He wasn't the most romantic, but he did do romantic stuff like take bubble baths with me and give me massages.
Falling testosterone levels will cause this
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post #84 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 02:43 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

@katiecrna sorry but you are bull headed. Tell him you aren't ready, for gods sake. Why would he try to enter if he knew you weren't? Quit asking him to mind read - most guys aren't that way. Our brains are wired differently and we lack the connections between lobes. Jeepers this should be easy to solve!


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post #85 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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@katiecrna sorry but you are bull headed. Tell him you aren't ready, for gods sake. Why would he try to enter if he knew you weren't? Quit asking him to mind read - most guys aren't that way. Our brains are wired differently and we lack the connections between lobes. Jeepers this should be easy to solve!


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Your joking right?
I was excited, I knew I was wet but I obviously have no way of knowing how wet I am. He is the one who was down there so he would of know better than I would. He went to put it in me, and I wasn't wet enough I guess.
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post #86 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

Introducing ........KY Gel. Best thing ever.........you should buy some.
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post #87 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

We have lube in the shower. It's the only time we usually use it.
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post #88 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:35 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

keep some in the bedroom.
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post #89 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:38 PM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
Your joking right?
I was excited, I knew I was wet but I obviously have no way of knowing how wet I am. He is the one who was down there so he would of know better than I would. He went to put it in me, and I wasn't wet enough I guess.


Sorry completely misunderstood.

Honestly though it can be hard to tell if you're not ready when the testosterone kicks in


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post #90 of 109 (permalink) Old 03-02-2017, 07:53 AM
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Re: Dying for a good sex life

Start taking control of your own body. You should always be the one who knows best exactly how ready you are. If you don't, then you need to get in better touch with your own body. Start playing with yourself and paying attention to what your lady parts feel like and use your finger to test how wet you are at each stage of the proceedings. Then you will know what it feels like at each stage of wetness.

Do not be limited by the thought that you "shouldn't" need lube. Nothing wrong with lube. What is wrong is trying to have PIV without sufficient lubrication. No shame in saying "honey, not ready yet, grab the lube". Frankly, I never try to enter my wife without lubing first. Even if I have been giving her oral and there is plenty of saliva and her secretions in the area. I never try to insert a dry penis anywhere. Neither should your husband. Why risk having a problem when you can eliminate the risk and have an easy smooth insertion every time? If you always lube first, it isn't a statement about anything relating to that session ans it is just part of sex. Every time all the time.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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