Re: Dying for a good sex life
On the lube subject... this is my opinion and I'm sorry if people don't agree with me...
First off I love lube. It's great when you need it. But it's not a replacement to hurry sex up so we can artificially get me wet.
I used a lot of lube when we were first married. I waited till marriage to have sex and it was a lifesaver, especially because I haven't became accommodated to him yet and he would hit my cervix and sex was painful. Then I didn't need it anymore but we always kept silicone lube in the shower because it's nice to use with shower sex.
I am very educated on lube trust me.
My personal problem with it for me, using it in our bedroom is because I am a young healthy women who doesn't need it. I can get very very very clean up the sheets after wet. If I "need lube" it's because you are rushing. And I have a very negative feeling, experience or whatever about... oh you want to have sex? Slab some lube on me and go. It's very insensitive, you don't care to take the time and make me horny or into it. I don't know how to explain it, but using lube on me feels like a bypass of the process of getting me excited and I find that to be not only selfish but it doesn't feel good. And for the record if I'm not 100% ready... and my husband uses lube and puts it in me it hurts and it's not enjoyable, and this is because i haven't gone through the process of self lubrication and accommodation. You can just bypass that part, I'm a person who wants to experience this too. I know this is going to not go well but it reminds me of rape. I know it's not rape, I know rape is terrible and horrible. But how I feel about using lube to artificially get me ready makes me feel like I'm just a hole and not a person.