I know its probably not the right thing to read too much 'tone' in a post like this, but really - you sound pretty self centered here, so let me play devils advocate...
Yes you are right, I am self centred because I want to have sex and be happy in the marriage and I want to enjoy my life as a man not just as a father. I did not realise the two were mutually exclusive. I guess I am self centred for wanting a happy marriage.
She has put on weight. OK - it is the first thing on your list of issues so I can see this is a problem for you.
Yes it's a problem because I know it is one of the things that makes her miserable and I don't like seeing my wife miserable.
'Tiresome' health problems, seriously?
Yes, seriously. Health problems can be extremely tiresome. If you have never experienced this feeling then I think you should consider yourself amazingly lucky.
Is it an inconvenience for you to have a sick wife? Bored Bored Bored? (oh, sorry.. all CAPS - BORED BORED BORED).
Yes. It is. Another issue, another negative thing, and another source of misery, and another reason for there to be no sex. It is a pretty big inconvenience.
You need, sir, to stop focusing so much on how this effects you personally.
Yes, silly me. How selfish of me to think about my own misery.
You have barely expressed any desire whatsoever in helping her in any way besides saving you inconvenience.
It wasn't relevant for my post, but since you brought it up, there is absolutely no way of helping her because she does not want to be helped. I cannot physically make her do excercise or control what she eats, she has to want that for herself. I have tried every single thing under the sun to make her feel sexy but nothing and I mean NOTHING works. She does not have anything medically wrong with her at all, she has NOT got post natal depression or anything like that. I, however, do feel like I am depressed, because my marriage and my future seem to be draining away down the toilet.
You need to stop comparing her with her mother and think a little bit ourside your little personal needs.
My "little personal needs" eh?
I would love to know if you would consider an 18 month absence of sex to be a little personal need. Or the absence of a laugh, a giggle, a smile between husband and wife to be a little personal need. Or the fact I cannot even get her to cuddle up to me on the sofa in front of the television any more. These "little personal needs" are the building blocks of a marriage. And I want the marriage to work, not just for me personally, but for her, and for our darling son. Your comment about "my little personal needs", SIR, is quite simply, stupid and poorly considered.
You say 'I want to be happy again'. No $#iT sherlock, I bet she feels the same way.
Actually, no, she doesn't. She enjoys the misery. That's the whole point. She shows no sign of wanting to be happy again, or if she does, she doesn't care enough to make an ounce of effort toward our marriage.
This looks pretty clearly like she is perhaps overwhelmed and depressed
No, she's not, there is no diagnosis of depression whatsoever, and she appears perfectly happy to sit around eating cake and watching tv and f*cking around with her iphone. I mean seriously, she's happy about it. She sees no problem.
gads - your post reads to be entirely self centered. I know its probably just frustration leaking out - but you need to focus more closely on what you canb do to help her
You are so wrong. There is NOTHING I or anyone else can do, because she sees there to be no problem in the marriage at all, despite my continued efforts to tell her there is a problem.
Also warm up to the idea that things will not be like the honeymoon now that you have a baby. Suck it up.
18 months. No sex. That means none since conception, and none since birth either. I am not expecting to be having sex on a daily basis, but once a month would be something. Perhaps your threshold of what can be "sucked up" is different to mine. But I doubt there are many married men who would not get a little bit miserable about an 18 month drought.
Time for you to put in extra effort into making a home and not think of it as 'drudgery'.
Oh, do you mean the home I work my ass off to pay for? Yes? the home I purchased, and where I pay all the bills, and where I get absolutely NOTHING in return? The home where I make constant and continuuous efforts to be nice and loving and helpful to her, but get NOTHING back? Right then. I see.
Man, you are so quick to jump to conclusions that it's almost laughable.