Re: Husband turns me off. Advice please.
Your fear of talking to your husband about sex is crippling you.
Fear, fear, and more fear. You are crippled by fear. Sexual repression.
My wife was very repressed when I married her. Not as bad as you, but bad. She pulled that nonsense of saying she didn't need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex. I told her I wouldn't accept that and she better get better or get out. I did help her, and I do believe it is my job to do everything in my power to make her orgasm, so she had a lot of opportunity.
My wife was crippled by fear and repressions. She had repressed memories and all kinds of problems. We did manage to get through it all. But I do have to say it took one of us constantly refusing to accept anything less than constantly pushing for something better. Me. I am extremely dominant, and I never let her rest.
I hate to say it, but it sounds like you need someone to push you hard. You seem unable to push yourself. Sadly, I don't think your husband is going to push you.
I wish you a good life.