Signs of female orgasm - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 02:50 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

That's the question too, even if we assume that they don't, how do we know that they do? The heck is involved in a female orgasm anyway? It's so mysterious =/
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post #17 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 02:53 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

I told you how you can accurately tell if a woman has an orgasm.
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post #18 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 03:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

But my gf's backdoor is not an option! lol
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post #19 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 03:34 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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But my gf's backdoor is not an option! lol
Well you could just ask her and say you don't think she's really getting there and you'd rather her tell it like it is.

When my wife and I started our sexual relationship, she had been with an experienced guy who kept telling her she had got an orgasm when she hadn't. To the point that she started to doubt herself, then started faking them since she'd given up telling him like it is.

Then she started with me and tried the same fake nonsense on one occasion, since she figured that's what men want and that's what sex is. Yet I didn't believe her, since I knew better and called her on it which ended all of that rubbish.

Sadly my wife isn't the only experienced woman I've been with, that had never had an orgasm through sex before me. So I figure there are lots of men and women who don't know about the backdoor tell or won't try it if they do know about it.
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post #20 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 03:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Well quite frankly I don't know, I suspect that she's not because of a variety of reasons, the first is due to coming from a more conservative culture, hence less sexually liberated, the second is because she orgasms very fast compared to other women like ex-wife, where it takes at least around half an hour to reach her first proper orgasm, but with GF she reaches that in 5 minutes, she slows down the pace in subsequent orgasms but 5 minutes is a little too fast which makes me suspect.

I don't think she's lying intentionally, more likely she may not even know her own body. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. I don't know. Discussing it with her is difficult because she's very adamant that she reaches orgasms and offended/confused that I don't believe her.
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post #21 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 04:05 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

If having that conversation is not on the table and you can't test it, you're going to have to decide whether you believe her or whether you'll accept it if you don't.

That said I wouldn't presume she has any ill intent towards you at all if she is faking or embellishing a bit.

As to the timing for orgasms, 5 minutes is not unknown, and matches my experience with some women on some occasions including my wife.
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post #22 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 04:30 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

I think you should just put it out there that you're willing to do whatever you can to help her reach O and you get major satisfaction from it and leave it at that. As the relationship gets older if she is indeed pretending, she'll probably get sick of never truly reaching O and bring up the issue somehow.

If you keep asking her and she is indeed pretending and won't admit it, you'll just put even more pressure on her to cum. That's not going to help her cum. Ease up and just keep observing her and her body. Create a safe environment, free of judgement so that she can feel comfortable talking about sexual issues such as these. For whatever reason, we women find it incredibly difficult to discuss problems with sex with our partners. Don't make it any more difficult for her than it already is.
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post #23 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 07:04 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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GF now, committed relationship.

So I want to make sure I'm actually satisfying her
Sounds like your doing a great job to me

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post #24 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 07:10 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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I'm sure she enjoys it but doesn't mean she reaches orgasm right? Perhaps it's not as important to her as it is to me, but I want to be a good lover, especially to those I care about.

When we were just FWB when she cums once or 10x I didn't care, but now she's my GF I want to blow her mind away =/
Stop worrying about it, if she says she enjoys it then why doubt her?
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post #25 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 07:20 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

This is a funny thread. It's her job to ask for what she needs if she isn't getting it, with all those theatrics if she isn't actually getting there it is her loss. Stop worrying about it
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post #26 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 07:46 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

According to "experts" on a documentary if a woman orgasams, her nipples have to be hard and her toes have to curl one way or the other.

In my experience this turns out to be true. It is possible for this to happen any way but if it isn't happening she can't be climaxing. Men's toes curl too.

It was explained to be like sneezing, supposedly the nearest thing. One cannot sneeze with open eyes. So they said.

It must be hard to watch their feet though in most positions haha. Maybe you could lay beside her and rub one out for her and watch her toes and see if she is faking.

This is secret information so don't spread it around.
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post #27 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 08:28 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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I dunno, maybe I'm just thinking too much as usual
If so, then why do you suppose that is?

Possibilities I can imagine:
  1. You value her pleasure, as an end in itself. Her joy is your joy.
  2. If she is misleading herself and you about this, then distance and dissatisfaction will grow. It is extremely important she be able to speak only truth to you, even when she fears it is not what you want to hear. There is commitment from you to hear the truth, and that she will still matter once heard.
  3. You feel like less of a man, or at least less like her man, if what you have earnestly tried isn't doing it for her.
  4. You have other worries, but you've stuffed them down. But the pressure builds and anxiety starts to surface, especially when you are at your most intimate and vulnerable (sex), and your conscious mind, unable to see the true source, looks for flaws in her sexual response or your sexual stimulus, and being eager to find an explanation finds one even when it is not there.

If it is any combination of those, then at the root of your concern is a desire to be more genuinely and deeply connected to her. If you talk about this matter at all with her -- and why wouldn't it be important to talk with her about this? -- emphasize that is where you are coming from. Otherwise, it'll become a wedge leveraged in your hearts by your subconscious and hers to make that anxiety go away (by making the possibility, if not the desire, for genuine connection to go away).

"We are only here briefly, and in this moment I want to allow myself joy." -- Amy, from Spike Jonze's "Her"

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post #28 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 08:49 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Some women orgasm quickly. My fiance can get me there pretty quickly, on some days.

I don't think it's healthy to compare her or women in general, to your ex wife. Quite a few threads on here where OP's are bringing up their exes when comparing to new people... which makes me wonder if some of you are truly over your exes? Just an observation, but your ex wife and how long it took her to O, should have nothing to do with this new relationship, and that could be why you're inventing things to be worried over with this new gf.

Sometimes, you fall in love with the most unexpected person, at the most unexpected time. ~ Unknown
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post #29 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

believe it or not, i had an ex who would softly moan when she's nearing climax, then she would suddenly try to push me away when she reaches orgasm. one time, i fell from the bed when she yanked me off. we had a good laugh after she regained her senses.

when asked why she does it, she says she doesn't know she does that, as if she loses control of herself. she says she feels so vulnerable and helpless during orgasm, so probably it's a "subconscious" behavior to protect herself from that vulnerability.

some of them, i observed, had their slightly closed eyes rolled-up when reaching climax (combined with "tightening", muscle spasms, tight embrace, legs tightly clamped around my hips, etc.)

that being said, yes, women can and do "fake" their orgasms. and as one poster said - it's their loss if they always fake it.

no offense to the ladies... :-)
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post #30 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 09:19 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

don't worry about how quick she gets there, just like with men the amount of time it takes a woman varies greatly. My wife usually takes about 20 minutes of foreplay/sex combined to orgasm. But if she is already super turned on she may go in under a minute the first time. I've seen her have 3 in under 10 minutes, but also seen her say just forget it after over an hour with no success. While orgasm is a nice release, the real important thing is that both of you connect and have a great time. When you make orgasm the overwhelming goal everytime I can almost guarantee you will fail more often than not. Learn her body, her likes, her needs, and show her the sex is about her. She will get the most out of the experience knowing your sole focus is on her.


I'm not saying she shouldn't orgasm, I'm saying you shouldn't obsess over if she did or not.
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