Signs of female orgasm - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 10:32 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

I've heard about and read about so much faking and mystery around women orgasming
that it remains an enigma to me. Even on this site, there is no magic potion or consistent
agreement.

but as most others are saying around here, communicate, be unselfish (not totally)
be open to your partners needs, and if the feedback and signs are all there, dont over worry about it.

As for my wife, I asked her early on if she was orgasming, even though all the signs were there.
she couldn't give me a resounding yah! Which I think accentuates part of the problem.
many woman are not sure themselves? I quit worrying after my wife started inititiating more than me
and expressses pleasure and always wants more after almost 4 years.

I mean, other than trying to be very conscious of their reaction and desire for sex, what else can a guy do?
I think guys after a while intuitively know if she doesn't like it, but there's always that nagging doubt.

maybe this all is just meant to keep men on their toes
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post #32 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 11:33 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Listen I can have an orgasm and be completely quite and still if I wanted to. But when I have an orgasm I like to let go, relax and enjoy, I also like to make sure my husband knows I'm satisfied so I maybe exaggerate a little. I will never fake an orgasm, if it feels good I want to make sure to convey that on the outside. Just like I appreciate him doing the same thing to me. There is nothing more awkward then giving a bj to a man trying to keep in his enjoyment. It makes us feel good to know we are satisfying you. It makes me want to give more bjs. Same thing to men with women.

There are women who fake orgasms. It's impossible to know the truth. Only the person knows, unless they tell you and of course you can't prove anything.

I think women having trouble orgasming during piv sex is more common than women having multi orgasms during piv sex. But it happens.

Your focusing on all these "signs" that she's having orgasms. But the truth is, it could be fake or not. There is no way to tell.
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post #33 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 11:35 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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This is a funny thread. It's her job to ask for what she needs if she isn't getting it, with all those theatrics if she isn't actually getting there it is her loss. Stop worrying about it


I agree lol. But then you start to think... why are you faking? Why so much drama and theatrics? I find it weird lol. That "fakeness" or need to please or whatever it is, is a turn off.
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post #34 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 02:24 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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Your focusing on all these "signs" that she's having orgasms. But the truth is, it could be fake or not. There is no way to tell.
As explained earlier in this discussion, there is a way to tell.

If you don't believe me ask your husband to have his finger in your backside before you orgasm. Then have him keep it there till after you orgasm and ask then him to tell you what it felt like, before during and after.

I found this out for myself when I noticed the difference, with my ex-wife whom I lost my virginty with. And it has been the same for all of the woman I have done this with after her, regardless of their nationality, race, cultural background, height build and age.

That said since I'm not the only one who has experienced this or knows about this, I'm surprised that it isn't common knowledge/experience amongst all who are participating in this discussion.
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post #35 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-18-2017, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Heh ok guys, think I'll relax about this, I should stop comparing her, and like everyone said, it's her loss if she's faking it.

And LOL personal, it's probably isn't common knowledge/experience because many people's backdoors are exit only
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post #36 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 08:17 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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Well you could just ask her and say you don't think she's really getting there and you'd rather her tell it like it is.

When my wife and I started our sexual relationship, she had been with an experienced guy who kept telling her she had got an orgasm when she hadn't. To the point that she started to doubt herself, then started faking them since she'd given up telling him like it is.

Then she started with me and tried the same fake nonsense on one occasion, since she figured that's what men want and that's what sex is. Yet I didn't believe her, since I knew better and called her on it which ended all of that rubbish.

Sadly my wife isn't the only experienced woman I've been with, that had never had an orgasm through sex before me. So I figure there are lots of men and women who don't know about the backdoor tell or won't try it if they do know about it.
People need to be eased in to this sort of thing. Of course once you open pandoras box it's hard to close it.

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post #37 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 06:34 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

I've told former partners, "I don't fake it, and I won't tell you that I came when I didn't. If I'm happy in bed, I'm noisy. I can't help it. If you have to ask, or are wondering if I came, I probably didn't and you should keep going. When/if I orgasm, there should be no doubt in your mind." Real Estate will sometimes ask me how many times I climaxed... I tell him that after 3 or 4 times, my brain isn't capable of counting anymore, and sometimes the multiples just roll into one big, long orgasm that simply has waves instead or clear stops and starts.

If you know she doesn't lie or doesn't fake it, I would say that all the things mentioned in the OP are a pretty good sign.

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post #38 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 07:31 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Watch her masturbate.
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post #39 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 09:32 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Another good sign to look out for is if she calls out your name but can't remember her own. :-)
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post #40 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-19-2017, 11:57 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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Watch her masturbate.
This isn't always the best indicator. For me, self-stimulated orgasms are very different than those stimulated by a partner.

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post #41 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 01:11 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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Just read an article about why women make noise during sex. According to the article most women do it make the guy feel good about his sexual prowess. A good many do it to spur on the man's orgasm. Some do it because of the movies and think it is expected of them. My wife is dead quiet and does not even want me to talk when she is trying to have an orgasm. Only when she orgasms does she let out a scream and then breathes hard. Our girlfriend was a pale skinned Norwegian who turned red when she had an orgasm.

The best sign I ever got was a former secretary yelling out, "No I know why they call you the boss." I had to suppress my laughter because it sounded like a corny line from a porn movie. She was not saying to advance in the company. I would not sleep with someone I saw every day. It was a going away dinner for me because I was being transferred far away from her. One girl screamed so loud that my wife came into the room to ask who died. I usually go by physical changes in the woman and not what they do. They can fake grabbing sheets or digging nails into your back. They cannot fake how their vagina looks or the blush on the chest that many women get.
Oh dear, who writes these "articles" and why do people buy into them?

So let me ask why do men make noise during sex? Is it to pander to their partners feelings about her sexual prowess?
Is it to spur the woman to orgasm?
Or is it because they see it in the movies and think it is expected of them?
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post #42 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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I've told former partners, "I don't fake it, and I won't tell you that I came when I didn't. If I'm happy in bed, I'm noisy. I can't help it. If you have to ask, or are wondering if I came, I probably didn't and you should keep going. When/if I orgasm, there should be no doubt in your mind." Real Estate will sometimes ask me how many times I climaxed... I tell him that after 3 or 4 times, my brain isn't capable of counting anymore, and sometimes the multiples just roll into one big, long orgasm that simply has waves instead or clear stops and starts.

If you know she doesn't lie or doesn't fake it, I would say that all the things mentioned in the OP are a pretty good sign.
Hmmm... explains why sometimes when I ask her she says "she doesn't know"
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post #43 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 03:50 PM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

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Hmmm... explains why sometimes when I ask her she says "she doesn't know"
It's like, when someone asks me what I like, it's hard for me to answer... if Real Estate is doing something that I really like, there's no way in hell that I could describe what he was doing to me at the time, because I'm totally focused on the feeling and the sensation. I have no idea what he's doing, all I know is that it feels amazing and I hope that he will do it again in the future. If I have my wits about me, I'll say, "I don't know what you're doing, but it feels amazing, so remember it for next time." Usually, he obliges. However, there was that one time that he gave me a play-by-play and we named a lot of the "moves"... funny, I still don't remember what exactly he was doing, but if he mentions "the handshake" I'll giggle because I remember exactly how it made me feel.

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post #44 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 07:19 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Getting close to a decade with the same person, and I still have a hard time figuring it out. I have little doubt she's having them, but they're not always the same, if that makes sense.

The longer I've been with her, the more I'm understanding she has a series of little ones, as opposed to one big, satisfying one. She's multi-multi orgasmic, but I don't think they're good... I think she has several of those per session until she's tired out, and, while satisfied, isn't satisfied.

But every now and again she has that one big, good orgasm, and she glows. I can feel her contracting, her entire body gets tense and she bucks into me. I can tell she's in a different world for 30 seconds or so. Afterwards, she's much more close with me, and the glow seems to last a while. If she doesn't orgasm like that, that closeness isn't there.

There's no rhyme or reason for it that I (or she) knows about - it just seems to happen once in a while. The rest of the time, she has, as I said, a series of little ones. She's not unhappy or disappointed, but I clearly didn't rock her world either.

As she doesn't talk about sex unless I bring it up (and even then...) I can't get a good idea of how or why she only has these types of orgasms once in a while. I don't think SHE knows. And because sex isn't really all that important to her, I don't think she cares, TBH. She knows I'm open to critique and I can take direction, but she's only ever really given it to me once or twice.

But I'm wise enough to know that I can only do so much with what I'm given. IF she's faking the little ones, that's her prerogative. It's in the back of my mind sometimes. But I generally don't think she does, or has. I've always been clear that there's no need for that kind of thing, that my ego doesn't require it, and that I'd much rather learn to satisfy her than go through our marriage thinking I am, but not actually doing so.

But two things tend to stick out in my mind, and plant a small seed of doubt every now and again. One, she's not a sexual person. It's unimportant to her, and she's never truly taken the time to get to know herself or her body. What she's learned has been through experience over the years, not from her own personal experimentation. And she hasn't exactly imparted any of her experiential wisdom upon me, which is a shame. If one has been with x-number of people, and a few of them have been good, then one should be able to figure out why they were good, as opposed to the others who were not good, or who didn't stand out. Then you can tell your current partner what you like, or at least guide them that way.

Instead, I get the impression that she just takes what she's given, so to speak, and if it happens to work (or not work) then so be it. She once told me that her ex, before me, would be done in 2 or 3 minutes, and that it was always the same. 10 seconds of this, in it goes, hammer away, finish. Every single time, for years (she told me this as a way of complementing me, because I actually spend time on her, and she wasn't used to that, I guess). My response (apart from thanks) was "and did you ever speak to him about that?" Of course her answer was "well... no".

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
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post #45 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 09:57 AM
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Re: Signs of female orgasm

Really the only answer is that women have to let their partners know what they like, and their partners need to be eager to please.

The same to some extent applies to men. Its obvious when men O, but that doesn't necessarily mean it was particularly good.
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