Signs of female orgasm - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 93Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 10:05 AM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 11,045
Re: Signs of female orgasm

If you ask her and yet you doubt her answer is truthful, then you may not be with the right partner or ready for a partner. It means you either picked someone who is not truthful or you are not able to trust people. Either way, there's a problem with you or her or both.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Faithful Wife is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 03:31 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,105
Re: Signs of female orgasm

I have been avoiding responding to this one, but here goes.

Dear RandomDude;

(1) The best sex is relaxed, playful and exploratory. The kind where if something doesn't go as planned you can both laugh about it. (That includes orgasms.)

(2) Putting too much emphasis on each sexual act between two people in a committed relationship adds to performance anxiety for each of them. This is something that can produce all kinds of bad results (faking orgasms, PE, etc.) It is not like the moment the two of you are done she is going to pull out some rating cards (think of Olympics where scores of 1.0 to 9.9) are flashed immediately after your performance.

(3) If she says she is having fun, believe her and enjoy her and her pleasure and stop asking her all the time. Asking her all the time, is showing her that you are not confident (which isn't sexy) and that you need reinforcement for a "job well done" (she wants a confident lover and not a pet that always is seeking approval.)

(4) Sometimes you will not be able to tell if she has orgasmed, sometimes you can tell. For my wife the clues are extended rhythmic vaginal contractions followed by clitoral sensitivity and desire to just be held quitely for a little while.

Do I want my wife of 45+ years to orgasm? Absolutely.

Does it happen all the time? NOPE. Does it happen a lot of the time? Yes.

When we have discussed this, she knows that sometime she just can't relax enough or clear her mind enough to orgasm and yes she loves the stimulation, feeling close to me, and above all her knowing she can pleasure me.

So the point is enjoy each other and don't worry about the details.

Good luck
Young at Heart is offline  
post #48 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:18 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 130
Re: Signs of female orgasm

There is no real way to tell. On an average romp I'd say I orgasm 2-4 times during. I moan loudly and it's not for his benefit, it just kind of escapes my throat I guess? Very guttural. And my legs definitely vibrate a bit haha! But my H just knows. He knows my body probably a little too well and says he can feel the pulses as they ripple down. I've tested his acxuracy, and he's spot on. So trust your gut!
Saibasu is offline  
post #49 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 09:50 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,615
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saibasu View Post
There is no real way to tell.
Sigh...

If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
What you will feel through your finger/s (one is sufficient) back there as they approach orgasm. Are a series of extremely fast micro spasms, so think of it as feeling a bit like a vibrator despite a vibrator not being used. Of which if I have my finger/s in a vagina instead I will not feel those micro spasms at all leading up to an orgasm.

Then as the woman gets closer to tipping over, you will feel those micro spasms becoming more frequent. unless she subsequently drifts away getting closer to an orgasm, where they will become less frequent and or stop.

When she does tip over to orgasm those micro spasm, will then turn into a succession of deep shuddering and throbbing pulses that you can feel through her rectum with some puckering as well.
If one doesn't feel that and the woman tells you she has had an orgasm, she is either lying or hasn't a clue.

Last edited by Personal; 02-22-2017 at 10:06 PM.
Personal is offline  
post #50 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 10:04 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 130
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
Sigh...

If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.



If one doesn't feel that and the woman tells you she has had she had an orgasm, she is either lying or hasn't a clue.
Well yes in that respect you can tell. But if the OP is here looking for ways to figure out if his woman is really orgasming then he obviously doesn't want his partner to know that he isn't sure if she is. A random "hey baby, mind if I stick my finger up your ass while you O" will surely elicit questions from his partner, questions he seems to be uncomfortable asking her straight out.

Saibasu is offline  
post #51 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-22-2017, 11:35 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,615
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saibasu View Post
A random "hey baby, mind if I stick my finger up your ass while you O" will surely elicit questions from his partner, questions he seems to be uncomfortable asking her straight out.
I don't recommend that ill considered approach either.

Not being able to address this with open conversation, points to larger problems.
Personal is offline  
post #52 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 01:59 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 130
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
I don't recommend that ill considered approach either.

Not being able to address this with open conversation, points to larger problems.
Oh absolutely. I agree, there seems to be deeper issues here rather than just wanting to know if she really orgasms.
Saibasu is offline  
post #53 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 12:51 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 17
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by alexm View Post
Getting close to a decade with the same person, and I still have a hard time figuring it out. I have little doubt she's having them, but they're not always the same, if that makes sense.

The longer I've been with her, the more I'm understanding she has a series of little ones, as opposed to one big, satisfying one. She's multi-multi orgasmic, but I don't think they're good... I think she has several of those per session until she's tired out, and, while satisfied, isn't satisfied.

But every now and again she has that one big, good orgasm, and she glows. I can feel her contracting, her entire body gets tense and she bucks into me. I can tell she's in a different world for 30 seconds or so. Afterwards, she's much more close with me, and the glow seems to last a while. If she doesn't orgasm like that, that closeness isn't there.

There's no rhyme or reason for it that I (or she) knows about - it just seems to happen once in a while. The rest of the time, she has, as I said, a series of little ones. She's not unhappy or disappointed, but I clearly didn't rock her world either.

As she doesn't talk about sex unless I bring it up (and even then...) I can't get a good idea of how or why she only has these types of orgasms once in a while. I don't think SHE knows. And because sex isn't really all that important to her, I don't think she cares, TBH. She knows I'm open to critique and I can take direction, but she's only ever really given it to me once or twice.

But I'm wise enough to know that I can only do so much with what I'm given. IF she's faking the little ones, that's her prerogative. It's in the back of my mind sometimes. But I generally don't think she does, or has. I've always been clear that there's no need for that kind of thing, that my ego doesn't require it, and that I'd much rather learn to satisfy her than go through our marriage thinking I am, but not actually doing so.

But two things tend to stick out in my mind, and plant a small seed of doubt every now and again. One, she's not a sexual person. It's unimportant to her, and she's never truly taken the time to get to know herself or her body. What she's learned has been through experience over the years, not from her own personal experimentation. And she hasn't exactly imparted any of her experiential wisdom upon me, which is a shame. If one has been with x-number of people, and a few of them have been good, then one should be able to figure out why they were good, as opposed to the others who were not good, or who didn't stand out. Then you can tell your current partner what you like, or at least guide them that way.

Instead, I get the impression that she just takes what she's given, so to speak, and if it happens to work (or not work) then so be it. She once told me that her ex, before me, would be done in 2 or 3 minutes, and that it was always the same. 10 seconds of this, in it goes, hammer away, finish. Every single time, for years (she told me this as a way of complementing me, because I actually spend time on her, and she wasn't used to that, I guess). My response (apart from thanks) was "and did you ever speak to him about that?" Of course her answer was "well... no".
Thank you for this post. I feel like I am in a very similar situation. My wife rarely talks about sex and it's always me who feels like she doesn't have total orgasm, and that puts pressure on me and makes our sex even worse. Now I remember every now and then when I did oral to her, it looked like she wanted to push me away but at the same time wanted me to be there and do it again. I am her first and only one so clearly she can't compare and thus doesn't really know her feeling. I haven't experience her contraction inside or shaking legs etc, tut it seems to me that "push away and pull back at the same time" is a kind of good orgasm.
bbad is offline  
post #54 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 01:46 PM
Member
 
wild jade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,590
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
Sigh...

If you have a finger inside a woman's rectum when she has an orgasm you can learn to tell every single time guaranteed.



If one doesn't feel that and the woman tells you she has had an orgasm, she is either lying or hasn't a clue.

Are you 100% sure this is true? You absolutely always have your finger there when your woman orgasms and not only is there no possibility of an exception, you are absolutely certain this is generalizable to each and every woman each and every time, with not even the remotest chance of faking it?

Just curious how deep the proof for this goes.

Last edited by wild jade; 02-26-2017 at 01:53 PM.
wild jade is online now  
post #55 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 02:35 PM
Forum Supporter
 
TX-SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,659
Re: Signs of female orgasm

I realize women can fake these too if they want, but there are specific signs you can look for. For one, vaginal contractions. A second is tightening of the stomach muscles. Another is holding her breath or breathing hard. Tensing of her toes or flaring of the nostrils is another. But, really, just ask.

Sent from my LG-US996 using Tapatalk

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
TX-SC is online now  
post #56 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 11:35 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 1,615
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by wild jade View Post
Are you 100% sure this is true? You absolutely always have your finger there when your woman orgasms and not only is there no possibility of an exception, you are absolutely certain this is generalizable to each and every woman each and every time, with not even the remotest chance of faking it?

Just curious how deep the proof for this goes.
As a general thing with women, yes I am certain that I (and others) can tell each and every time if I (they) have a finger or fingers in there at the time of orgasm.

That said I certainly haven't and don't always have my finger there, when my wife or previous partners have orgasmed.

As it turns out what I have been describing is the pelvic contractions that occur with orgasm as felt through the rectum.

Apparently anal and vaginal contraction waveforms during orgasm are synchronised, while anal pressure has a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude than vaginal pressure as well. Which explains why those contractions feel very strong through my finger when inserted anally, versus why it is not always discernible with a finger inside the vagina.

Until you asked I hadn't looked it up, since I was just going by my own experience with a variety of different women who I did/do this with. Who were variously from different ethnic and or racial groups, different nationalities, heights, weights, ages, pregnant, never been pregnant, had kids, breastfeeding, virgins and not virgins at the time.

Yet in all cases that particular pulsing was only coincident with orgasm and was not present otherwise regardless of who my partner was. Plus it largely felt the same regardless of who, when, where and how they orgasmed.

In the first instance I found this out with my first wife (who was my first sexual partner), since we naturally tried all sorts of things, that mostly came through our imagination.

Then after my first wife and I had been legally separated for circa six months pending divorce, I had sex for the first time with another woman at a party. Where I had my finger in her backside while I gave her oral till she had an orgasm. As a consequence of that I realised this was a female orgasm thing rather than just a thing with my ex-wife.

So from that point on, I did this with the majority of the women I have been with. Which wasn't hard, since, after a short while I got a feel for who's keen for things versus those who weren't. Combine that with talking about this stuff directly, and choosing women who weren't/ aren't particularly inhibited. Anal play, anal sex and much more just wasn't a big deal.

So for me It's not about checking to see if a woman has had an orgasm (which you can tell), it's just something that I sometimes apply during oral sex in order to help me to get them there before they get bored with an interminable tongue lashing to no end.

In looking this up I found some others who know what I'm talking about.

Plentyoffish
Quora
While I also found the following study, which I have not read except for the abstract and excerpts as posted by someone else on some blog called SSL here.

The female orgasm: Pelvic contractions
Archives of Sexual Behavior 11(5):367-86 · November 1982
Bohlen JG, Held JP, Sanderson MO, Ahlgren A.

Quote:
Abstract

Eleven nulliparous women manually self-stimulated to orgasm, each on three separate occasions. Pelvic contraction pressure was measured by an anal probe and a vaginal probe simultaneously. Near the perceived start of orgasm, a series of regular contractions began in nine of the women. Anal and vaginal contraction waveforms were synchronized with each other, and the same number of orgasmic contractions occurred in each lumen. Anal pressure had a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude contractions than vaginal pressure. The perceived start of orgasm did not correspond precisely with the onset of regular contractions. Mean intercontraction intervals increased linearly at an increment of about 0.1 second through the series of regular contractions. Amplitudes of contraction pressure waveforms, representing pelvic muscular force, were initially low, increased through the first half of the regular series, and then decreased. Area and net area of the pressure waveforms, reflecting pelvic muscular exertion (force x time), increased during the regular orgasmic contractions. Three of the women's orgasms consistently included only a series of regular contractions (orgasm type I). For six other women, orgasms consistently continued beyond the regular series with additional irregular contractions (orgasm type II). Types I and II had been identified previously in men. Two women had no regular contractions during reported orgasms. This pattern, type IV, had not been recorded in men. Women of different types showed marked differences in orgasm duration and number of contractions. Identification of these types in subjects is important for meaningful comparison of contraction parameters in different studies.
My own sample size of testing this occurrence, is greater than the number of women who they studied.

From that experience I think it is extremely likely that the two women in the above mentioned study who did not have a physiological response, didn't actually achieve orgasm.


Last edited by Personal; 02-27-2017 at 12:18 AM.
Personal is offline  
post #57 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 06:14 AM
Member
 
alexm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,837
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbad View Post
I am her first and only one so clearly she can't compare and thus doesn't really know her feeling.
Well, that's not entirely true. Even if she hasn't had intercourse with someone else before, surely she's experimented on her own, if not done other things with partners prior to you. PIV isn't the be-all, end-all of sex or the only way to achieve orgasm.

My ex wife never achieved orgasm with anybody, including me, well into our relationship, and she had 4 or 5 partners, plus another 5 or 6 that she didn't have intercourse with. All of them were short term relationships, or even one-offs. She probably had sex 20 or 30 times before we started dating (total guesstimate). Over almost 14 years with her, we probably had sex ~1200 times, plus or minus. So experience, or lack of, is very relative, and the # of partners can have little to no effect, in all honesty. My ex wife didn't know **** when we started dating. Well, she knew the basics, but we truly learned together, over the course of several years. Our previous meagre experiences meant very little. You could have had 20 partners, but only had sex 20 times. Hell, I've had regular sex for 25 years now. We'll say ~2000 times (1.5 times a week for 25 years, more or less). 1996 of those times have been with 2 partners. The other 4 times were with 3 different women, 2 of them once each, 1 of them twice.

Most people learn about sex on their own, and/or with long term partners- especially the latter.

I wouldn't worry that much about it, if I were you. As long as you both continue to try new things and experiment a little to see what works.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."

Last edited by alexm; 02-27-2017 at 06:22 AM.
alexm is offline  
post #58 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 06:46 AM
Member
 
alexm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,837
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post


My own sample size of testing this occurrence, is greater than the number of women who they studied.

From that experience I think it is extremely likely that the two women in the above mentioned study who did not have a physiological response, didn't actually achieve orgasm.

I dunno man. I'm not outright disagreeing, but at the same time, the female orgasm comes in many different flavors, AFAIK. One of them includes pelvic contractions.

Men are much simpler - we all orgasm the same way (again, AFAIK). With women, there are multiple ways to achieve orgasm, and from what I understand (mainly through TAM experience!) they can vary. Clitoral vs. PIV vs. gspot, for example - all generating different 'types' of release/orgasm. Most women seem to have a preference, those who can orgasm from multiple ways. My wife can orgasm from oral, manual, gspot, as well as anal only, but she much prefers PIV. If and when she orgasms from any of the above, often multiple times, she still wants a PIV orgasm. She also doesn't always have pelvic contractions. When she does, it's clearly a better orgasm (I don't have to ask her about that, it's visible!) but I have little to no doubt that she did, in fact, orgasm. Just not an earth-shattering one.

There are, of course, women who can orgasm from anal sex, nipple/breast stimulation, or even without being touched at all (ie. while giving oral sex).

Men can also orgasm from contact with the prostate only, and it's apparently somewhat different than the orgasm achieved from other means.

Basically, orgasms are not one-size-fits-all, IMO and IME.

"Every time I read your posts about your wife I want to swallow strychnine."
alexm is offline  
post #59 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 07:34 AM
Member
 
wild jade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,590
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by Personal View Post
As a general thing with women, yes I am certain that I (and others) can tell each and every time if I (they) have a finger or fingers in there at the time of orgasm.

That said I certainly haven't and don't always have my finger there, when my wife or previous partners have orgasmed.

As it turns out what I have been describing is the pelvic contractions that occur with orgasm as felt through the rectum.

Apparently anal and vaginal contraction waveforms during orgasm are synchronised, while anal pressure has a higher resting baseline and greater amplitude than vaginal pressure as well. Which explains why those contractions feel very strong through my finger when inserted anally, versus why it is not always discernible with a finger inside the vagina.

Until you asked I hadn't looked it up, since I was just going by my own experience with a variety of different women who I did/do this with. Who were variously from different ethnic and or racial groups, different nationalities, heights, weights, ages, pregnant, never been pregnant, had kids, breastfeeding, virgins and not virgins at the time.
Awesome answer!

Yes, the pelvic contractions are a key part of orgasm, and can also be felt through the vaginal walls.

It also means, though, that a woman could actually fake it if she really wanted to. (Not recommending it, just saying that like any other muscular contraction this too can be faked).

I'd also be cautious about making too many assumptions about the experience of the women in the study. Even I as just one woman have experienced a huge variety in number of contractions and duration, depending on the quality and run up to that orgasm. The real way to tell is an MRI, as the brain response is apparently completely distinctive.

Unfortunately, not really a workable solution for the OP .
wild jade is online now  
post #60 of 112 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 07:39 AM
Member
 
EllisRedding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Valhalla (Or the Northeast USA)
Posts: 6,542
Re: Signs of female orgasm

Not sure why this is even a concern ...

Anyway, if you really need to know just watch porn closely so you know exactly what to look out for ...
EllisRedding is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Female Orgasms Lifeiscomplicated The Ladies' Lounge 63 02-14-2017 11:25 AM
Penis shape and female orgasm Buffon06 Sex in Marriage 100 12-03-2016 06:11 AM
Can sex be truly fulfilling without an orgasm? GavinM Sex in Marriage 163 05-14-2016 04:08 PM
I need Oral need Oral Sex to orgasm, but wife refuses. wantshelp Sex in Marriage 120 04-06-2016 12:53 PM
Hubby's female friendships situation Preppygirl General Relationship Discussion 20 04-01-2016 09:22 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome