Improve my sex life - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 01:04 AM
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Re: Improve my sex life

Although I am 65 now, I have not had intercourse for longer than my wife and I can remember. Maybe 20+ years is a good guess. My wife has medical issues and we found out that we are both sterile so there was no reason for intercourse. We both prefer oral anyway and are good at it. In the end all that matters are good orgasms and there is more than one way to skin a cat. I lived with my wife and a shared girlfriend that hung around for 30 years and enjoyed sex with me so much that ever after she got married she continued to have sex with me, with her husband approval which is another story. Our girlfriend specifically looked for a man that was OK with her continuing her relationship with me.

Enough of the history. My point is that I sexually satisfied two women enough for them to keep coming back for more. Even after out girlfriend got married she still came to me for sex with her husband's knowledge. Most times I did not use my penis to give them great orgasms. A vaginal canal is about 5-6 inches anyway, before you enter the cervix territory which has less nerve endings. Many, if not most women, get their orgasms from clitorial stimulation which does not need a long penis. Girth will help but so will sexual positions that put your penis in more direct contact with her clitoris. As you can see from my life, you can still have a great sex life and marriage without intercourse. You have an average sized penis which is what most women studied have selected when asked to pick a 3D model of a penis they are happy with. 5-6" dildos sell more than all the other lengths combined so you are right in the sweet spot.

Yes, some women are stretched out after having a baby. I could tell the difference between my wife and our girlfriend who had a baby while my wife did not. Did not matter to me because I always found a way to make them scream. There are many fetishes that do not involve intercourse, and if my experience is correct, most girls have better orgasms with a vibrator. You can even see vibrators being used or laying around in porn videos now. Try sex toys. My wife and our former girlfriend love their vibrators for masturbation and sometimes used them when they wanted more orgasms than I gave them. I did not care.

I also believe, as do many sex therapist, that we are all responsible for our own orgasms. Use sexual positions, like cowgirl, that allow your wife to use her hands or a vibrator during intercourse. She should do whatever it takes to reach an orgasm as should you. The world is filled with women who had children and are not as tight as they used to be. Yet they find ways to have a good sex life.

You are adequately equipped to give your wife intense orgasms in various ways. I am 65 and have ED. I ordered 100 generic Viagra pills from India at a cost of $100 a pill. Then I cut them in half and have enough for almost two years. They work just as well as the $35 name brand Viagra does. I have been buying generic Viagra for almost as long as Viagra has been available without any problems. Try to find a story about anyone who was harmed by using genetic Viagra impoted. In Europe Generic Viagra is legal so all those websites just buy from the companies making the generic Viagra for the European market. So you can take care of the ED problem cheaply and easily. You have to ask your wife to tell you what works or not. Encourage her to give you feedback and go from there. My wife knows what buttons to press on me and I know which to press on her. Good communication is the secret to great sex. Do not forget that your brain is your largest sex organ. I can arouse women by what I say to them. It is something I learned early in my sex life from a woman who taught me. Good luck.

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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 03:59 PM
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Lightbulb Re: Improve my sex life

So .... lots of very good advise here, sometimes extra help from others and also safe remedies/prescribed drugs may be needed to fulfil our expectations .... I find the following very good, hope it helps you

https://tinyurl.com/z8d5qgy
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 04:16 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

Also this may help as well and is safe to use:

https://tinyurl.com/zadcmok
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-20-2017, 04:41 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

If you haven't tried it, try penetrating her for a few minutes, until you are pretty close to cumming and then pull out. Continue your focus on her with your hands, oral, breast play etc. Once you have calmed down a bit go back in for more. Keep doing this, trading off until you can tell she's about to go over the edge. Then you pop in for the last time and enjoy your happy endings.

Ciao,

Spicy
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-21-2017, 12:08 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbad View Post
.....However, since the birth of our son, our sex life has been terrible and it's been 3 years now. Reasons are many.

...I never tried any P extension but have one ordered on the way.....

Second, I have PE....

Another important reason is that my wife needs PIV......

....Should I do any operation to make my P bigger (and longer) or just stick with extension toy?

....Regarding PE, I plan to talk to my primary care physician to see if I can get any drugs for it.

...
A few things. You certainly have a fixation on your Penis. May I suggest a sex therapist to do some individual and couples therapy sessions. Yes, see your primary care doctor, but PE is more of a mental stimulation issue and things like sensate focus exercises with you and your wife are usually part of the cure.

As to the extension, that will certainly reduce stimulation and give you the large penis you seem to emotionally desire, so go for it and enjoy.

Still spend some time with a sex therapist. Good luck.
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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 06:20 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Improve my sex life

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Although I am 65 now, I have not had intercourse for longer than my wife and I can remember. Maybe 20+ years is a good guess. My wife has medical issues and we found out that we are both sterile so there was no reason for intercourse. We both prefer oral anyway and are good at it. In the end all that matters are good orgasms and there is more than one way to skin a cat. I lived with my wife and a shared girlfriend that hung around for 30 years and enjoyed sex with me so much that ever after she got married she continued to have sex with me, with her husband approval which is another story. Our girlfriend specifically looked for a man that was OK with her continuing her relationship with me.

Enough of the history. My point is that I sexually satisfied two women enough for them to keep coming back for more. Even after out girlfriend got married she still came to me for sex with her husband's knowledge. Most times I did not use my penis to give them great orgasms. A vaginal canal is about 5-6 inches anyway, before you enter the cervix territory which has less nerve endings. Many, if not most women, get their orgasms from clitorial stimulation which does not need a long penis. Girth will help but so will sexual positions that put your penis in more direct contact with her clitoris. As you can see from my life, you can still have a great sex life and marriage without intercourse. You have an average sized penis which is what most women studied have selected when asked to pick a 3D model of a penis they are happy with. 5-6" dildos sell more than all the other lengths combined so you are right in the sweet spot.

Yes, some women are stretched out after having a baby. I could tell the difference between my wife and our girlfriend who had a baby while my wife did not. Did not matter to me because I always found a way to make them scream. There are many fetishes that do not involve intercourse, and if my experience is correct, most girls have better orgasms with a vibrator. You can even see vibrators being used or laying around in porn videos now. Try sex toys. My wife and our former girlfriend love their vibrators for masturbation and sometimes used them when they wanted more orgasms than I gave them. I did not care.

I also believe, as do many sex therapist, that we are all responsible for our own orgasms. Use sexual positions, like cowgirl, that allow your wife to use her hands or a vibrator during intercourse. She should do whatever it takes to reach an orgasm as should you. The world is filled with women who had children and are not as tight as they used to be. Yet they find ways to have a good sex life.

You are adequately equipped to give your wife intense orgasms in various ways. I am 65 and have ED. I ordered 100 generic Viagra pills from India at a cost of $100 a pill. Then I cut them in half and have enough for almost two years. They work just as well as the $35 name brand Viagra does. I have been buying generic Viagra for almost as long as Viagra has been available without any problems. Try to find a story about anyone who was harmed by using genetic Viagra impoted. In Europe Generic Viagra is legal so all those websites just buy from the companies making the generic Viagra for the European market. So you can take care of the ED problem cheaply and easily. You have to ask your wife to tell you what works or not. Encourage her to give you feedback and go from there. My wife knows what buttons to press on me and I know which to press on her. Good communication is the secret to great sex. Do not forget that your brain is your largest sex organ. I can arouse women by what I say to them. It is something I learned early in my sex life from a woman who taught me. Good luck.
Thanks, great advice here. I read the book "She comes first" and follow the techniques there for oral. However, I notice that whenever I was doing it for a couple minutes she was kind of begging me to come in, so may be it's a sign that she's enjoying it too much and I should have kept doing the oral?

Somethings I want to note here. First, mine is more like 4", so I'm sure it's short. Second, the clitoris is outside how can I position to get direct contact b/w my penis and her clitoris? Third, I never thought Viagra can help PE. I'll try a vibrator for sure.
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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 06:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Improve my sex life

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spicy View Post
If you haven't tried it, try penetrating her for a few minutes, until you are pretty close to cumming and then pull out. Continue your focus on her with your hands, oral, breast play etc. Once you have calmed down a bit go back in for more. Keep doing this, trading off until you can tell she's about to go over the edge. Then you pop in for the last time and enjoy your happy endings.
My wife does not like this and always say that she prefers me to hit hard and fast rather than on and off. I guess you all right that I was following her lead while she might not know what's good for her. However, if we don't have sex for a while, like a week, I tend to ejaculate right when my penis touches her vagina . Funny thing is that I can hardly get it if I try to mastubate
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 06:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Improve my sex life

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Originally Posted by Young at Heart View Post
A few things. You certainly have a fixation on your Penis. May I suggest a sex therapist to do some individual and couples therapy sessions. Yes, see your primary care doctor, but PE is more of a mental stimulation issue and things like sensate focus exercises with you and your wife are usually part of the cure.

As to the extension, that will certainly reduce stimulation and give you the large penis you seem to emotionally desire, so go for it and enjoy.

Still spend some time with a sex therapist. Good luck.
From an Asian country, seeing a sex therapist is kind of strange for me, but I'll try.

On a side note, I got the extension, it seems big but the most ugly thing is that it's impossible to put on. Any better suggestion? I bought this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 06:40 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

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Originally Posted by bbad View Post
I'll try a vibrator for sure.
Do let your wife help choose the vibrator!

Ideally you want something small and discrete, but yet very powerful. Something like this https://www.amazon.com/Multi-Speed-W...dp/B01N7STCFI/ as it will fit between the two of you during missionary while you perhaps grind more and thrust less while the vibrator does all the heavy lifting for you so you don't have to hurt your back.
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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 02-23-2017, 07:33 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

Quote:
Originally Posted by bbad View Post
From an Asian country, seeing a sex therapist is kind of strange for me, but I'll try.

On a side note, I got the extension, it seems big but the most ugly thing is that it's impossible to put on. Any better suggestion? I bought this one:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
A board certified sex therapist is a marriage counselor with extra training in human sexuality and sexual dysfunction. They are professionals and have probably seen and heard it all and know how to deal with your problems and hang-ups.

Now as to how to use an extender (not my thing) you might want to view the following videos from a company that sells them. The short answer is the right amount of "lube." Not too much and not too little.

Fantasy X-Tension 3 Extra Inches Extra Girthy Realistic Penis Extension | Penis Sleeves & Extensions | Lovehoney

Good luck.
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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

Are there any positions you find that take longer? Maybe you should look into positions that 're An little less stimulating to the glans? You can also by extenders that strap over you penis to give it more Length and girth as well as provide a Thicker barrier between your shaft and her her vagina. Gotta assume it must dull the sensation since the can come in pretty rigid materials. Check out a site "Extreme Restraints" they have a pretty great selection of those types of things. And no despite it's name it's not just for bondage it's mine and my husbands favorite place to pick up stuff.
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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-11-2017, 07:33 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

I used to be a bit PE at one time when I was younger and overcame that, so I will say that you can pull it off too and grind your wife the way she wants. Don't be anxious or worried. I am in my 40s now and I can tell you that it is great once you throw the switch in your head and really get into the mindset to grind long and hard and give women the type of movement they need to have great orgasms.

I can tell you from my experience that "It is all in your head" - not down there.

This article describes what I am trying to convey most closely. Take a look. This is the mindset you want. Of taking pleasure in the moment and wanting it to last forever.

7 Genuine Tantric Techniques to Last Longer in Bed

Ignore the exotic references. This is universal. This is the switch I had to through to break through.

You are getting a lot of helpful comments from other members, so hopefully you can make it too.
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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-13-2017, 11:42 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

A vibrator and fantasies for your wife.

Stop focusing on simultaneous orgasms.

Make her come a few times, then have sex with her. She is completely capable of it. She may come much sooner after you enter her, if she is on a roll.
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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 04:20 PM
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Re: Improve my sex life

The reasons for short sexual endurance could be following:
1) Fears to lose erection – therefore you are doing everything fast and your excitement rises quickly. Calm down and regulate the intensity of your movements. Additional factor could be the condoms and your desire to maintain good erection (with condom), which sometimes could be real issue if condom is too large or too thick and you can't get good/smooth stimulation. Try condoms which fit really good on you penis and are thin or ultra thin.
2) Anxious mind – you want to have sex, but at the same time you unconsciously want to last it only a short time, so that you can return to the unresolved problems, which have occupied your mind.
3) Anatomy of your wife - you maybe get too much stimulation even from regular positions with her. Try another positions.
4) You allowed the wife to determine the speed of sex and you just followed, but your excitement grows uncontrollably. In this case you have to take the leading role back and choose the speed of sex, which is comfortable for you.
5) The location. Analyze, where do you have sex. Is it a place where you are rather isolated from other people, or where someone suddenly/accidentally can catch or see you. By example, my excitement always grows faster if it is a sex with some public elements.

You can train your sexual endurance - masturbate for approximately 30 minutes and then finish, even while watching porn.
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 03-22-2017, 10:36 AM
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Re: Improve my sex life

As others have said a sex therapist will help.

Do your pelvic floor exercises. Encourage her to as well. Her having a strong pelvic floor will make it easier for her to orgasm.

Getting a vibrator that fits between you during missionary sex might help.

Get a Hitachi wand for her, and for you to use on her both during foreplay and during sex. There's a VERY good reason they've been around for so long basically unchanged.

Doggy style is great for extra penetration so you feel bigger than you are to her. With the Hitachi you can tuck it between your legs and hold it against her or get a Liberator wand holder wedge to do it for you. You don't have to move much then until she's had her orgasm or is about to.

An appropriately sized C&B ring can make many men last a lot longer and is probably worth trying.

Edging each other is a great way to get you both practiced in making the pleasure last longer.

Above all, communicate and relax. Talk to her about how she feels, what she wants and how she wants it, and tell her how you feel and what you want.
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