Re: Unsure how to proceed
southernbelle84, everything has been said now, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you that this happened, I was imagining how I'd feel if I found out my husband was doing this, and I actually just can't even begin to imagine it. Besides the breath-taking betrayal, the embarrassment and humiliation of what you've been through is hard to get over, not to mention the fact that he's now using your friends for his own kicks.
It's absolutely, totally and utterly disgusting and I really feel for you, I would just dread to ever find myself in a similar situation, I find it SO disrespectful when people try to bully others into sexual acts that they're not happy to do, it is abuse just as much as a more obvious coercive act would be.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you don't doubt yourself or feel like you should give him another chance - I am a trainee therapist myself and I see first-hand how much people can improve their lives by attending therapy; your husband just didn't want to make any changes, but yet he wanted you to bend to his will, so please don't forget that you've done more than many other people would have done in an attempt to keep your marriage intact. You haven't been getting an inch in return, so even if you don't divorce, you definitely need to take time to yourself.