The hotwife fantasy - Page 5 - Talk About Marriage
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post #61 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:19 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

There is no way to get stats on this but from actually having worked with a number of hotwife couples I can tell you that the outcome of ruined marriages in that lifestyle is VERY high.

Also take into consideration that most people getting into that kink feel that they have a strong marriage to start. So even if there is an equal rate of failures, the failure will he harder and faster.

It's just a bad bad bad idea. Usually the kink is a result of trauma, such as being cheated on, since many feel that some kinks are the manifestations of fears. Like you were so damaged from cheating that you specialized it. Another take is the Freudian take that a hotwife husband is a repressed homosexual or bisexual living vicariously through one's female counterpart.

There are 'safe' reasons to, but you should seek counseling to really get to the bottom of these feelings first

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post #62 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:34 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

hotwife and cuckold are similar but still different. With cuckold - the man is looking at getting off on being abused. I used to know a guy who is only allowed to have intercourse with his wife about once every 6 months or so - if he's been good. She on the other hand, has sex with guys all the time, easily 2+ times a week. He can't masturbate. He may be able to go down on her, if she allows it. Keeps in penis in a cage and padlock (That is a THING ) search "penis in a cage" Amazon sells them for $25~125. (No I DON'T have one) - what he is into and the cage this is... not my circus, not my monkeys. They have been married for 15+ years, totally in love with his wife. They did not start out that way, only in the past 4~5 years I'm guessing.

In the past 12 months, I know of 4 open-relationship couples (not including my own - which we have been mono since coming back together) that have broken up. 3 of them had nothing to do with cheating. 1 did, and they went to counseling and are back together. I never asked if they are still open relationship.

Seems like you are talking more of 3some.

As other have said... you're opening a pandora's box that you may not be able to close. Your gamble. You may go to another site, which is pro hotwifing (I didn't know about such a thing until this place) and you may change your mind and you try out some feelers next month or year. You can do you best with ground rules - but that doesn't keep things from falling apart. Also, many times - the man who wanted the fantasy, has a freakout when it actually happens.

#1 If you ever do this : lots of research about communications. I cannot stress that.
#2 refer to #1
#3 If you do this... then no more than 1-2 times a year. kind of like The Purge or Holloween night.
#4 Pandora's box: You bring it up "Remember our fantasies when we were young?" She says "NO". But she thinks about it... There is the new guy in Accounting that's a hunk. And then comes back says she is considering. You say "All right!" - She says "Give me a while to find someone"

Then she is having an affair and your marriage is dying.

Consider the strip clubs perhaps.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #63 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:39 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

@eric1 : where you able to help out your friend? 250hours is a lot

@heartbroken50 : my wife is very bisexual. We've gone to stripper clubs it in the past a few times and plan to do it some more, but right now its not on our radar of things to do anytime soon. she is sometimes a chick magnet.

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post #64 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:44 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

I forgot to add... perhaps look at OTHER kinky things you can do with your wife. There are kink parties or events, but that doesn't mean you both have to have sex with others. And easily HALF the people I know that are into BDSM / kinky lifestyles are "conservatives".

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Last edited by TaDor; 02-26-2017 at 06:20 PM.
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post #65 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 03:22 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Originally Posted by TX-SC View Post

Just understand that once a deed is done, you cannot undo it. You can never unsee what you have seen. Lastly, it's not unheard of for emotions to get tangled when you do this. Just be careful.

Again, I would highly recommend seeking other options than opening your marriage in this way.
It starts off as just physical sex, but then the wife starts seeing the lover as the dominant male, and the husband as lesser sexual rank. Then she start having feelings of love for the new man, while having feelings of disgust for her husband who is acting so weird. then ....the inevitable happens, and you are sleeping on the couch as you hear her banging the BF in your bedroom
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post #66 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 03:28 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Originally Posted by dsmith2017 View Post
Someone more wholesome like tying people up lol
yes, exactly.

IF the choice is between:
Cheating, hotwifing, cuckolding, threesomes, bisexual experiences outside of the marriage

AND

Bondage, role play, dress up, sexual toys, vouyerism, S&M, and so on all monogamously within the marriage....

Yes the latter is FAR PREFERRED than the former.
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post #67 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 05:25 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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@eric1 : where you able to help out your friend? 250hours is a lot


@heartbroken50 : my wife is very bisexual. We've gone to stripper clubs it in the past a few times and plan to do it some more, but right now its not on our radar of things to do anytime soon. she is sometimes a chick magnet.


I did. It was an incredible amount of work and there was some luck involved, but the important lessons that I've learned here and other places were put into full effect. The 'system' works great.

I also personally completely and utterly destroyed his wife's boyfriend. You read so many of these stories and you know the right advice is to have the betrayed concentrate on their waywards, but man oh man did it feel good relieving my buddy of that struggle.

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post #68 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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It starts off as just physical sex, but then the wife starts seeing the lover as the dominant male, and the husband as lesser sexual rank. Then she start having feelings of love for the new man, while having feelings of disgust for her husband who is acting so weird. then ....the inevitable happens, and you are sleeping on the couch as you hear her banging the BF in your bedroom


In many cases this is exactly the case. If there is even kind of a kink in communication the marriage WILL end. Sex is the second best bonding agent in the world, next to having a child together.

I'm very involved in that stuff since working with my buddy on that. People think that it can work but most couldn't make it work if they tried. It takes an extremely rare couple made up of rare individuals in the right rare situation.

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post #69 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-26-2017, 09:45 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Originally Posted by TaDor View Post
hotwife and cuckold are similar but still different. With cuckold - the man is looking at getting off on being abused. I used to know a guy who is only allowed to have intercourse with his wife about once every 6 months or so - if he's been good. She on the other hand, has sex with guys all the time, easily 2+ times a week. He can't masturbate. He may be able to go down on her, if she allows it. Keeps in penis in a cage and padlock (That is a THING ) search "penis in a cage" Amazon sells them for $25~125. (No I DON'T have one) - what he is into and the cage this is... not my circus, not my monkeys. They have been married for 15+ years, totally in love with his wife. They did not start out that way, only in the past 4~5 years I'm guessing.



In the past 12 months, I know of 4 open-relationship couples (not including my own - which we have been mono since coming back together) that have broken up. 3 of them had nothing to do with cheating. 1 did, and they went to counseling and are back together. I never asked if they are still open relationship.



Seems like you are talking more of 3some.



As other have said... you're opening a pandora's box that you may not be able to close. Your gamble. You may go to another site, which is pro hotwifing (I didn't know about such a thing until this place) and you may change your mind and you try out some feelers next month or year. You can do you best with ground rules - but that doesn't keep things from falling apart. Also, many times - the man who wanted the fantasy, has a freakout when it actually happens.



#1 If you ever do this : lots of research about communications. I cannot stress that.

#2 refer to #1

#3 If you do this... then no more than 1-2 times a year. kind of like The Purge or Holloween night.

#4 Pandora's box: You bring it up "Remember our fantasies when we were young?" She says "NO". But she thinks about it... There is the new guy in Accounting that's a hunk. And then comes back says she is considering. You say "All right!" - She says "Give me a while to find someone"



Then she is having an affair and your marriage is dying.



Consider the strip clubs perhaps.


This stuff is honestly the pure devil being involved in your marriage.


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post #70 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 02:15 AM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

? ? ? Funny, in real life and here on TAM - I see religious christians having affairs. The relationship with my wife is A LOT healthier than those of many others I see around me.

And for that, I am thankful.

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post #71 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 07:30 AM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Originally Posted by dsmith2017 View Post
I'm a big strong man, I don't own anyone and I'm comfortable with my sexuality.
Shrug... You've made up your mind so good luck. It's your life friend. Just offering you my two cents.

I hope she still respects you when Chad's ramming her like a jack hammer and busting his nut everywhere.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #72 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Shrug... You've made up your mind so good luck. It's your life friend. Just offering you my two cents.

I hope she still respects you when Chad's ramming her like a jack hammer and busting his nut everywhere.
You sound like you are into the cuckold thing. To each their own but the humiliation and some of the other stuff that goes with that isn't my thing, notice the thread tittle, "hotwife fantasy" there is a difference between that and "cuckolding" and there are extremes with everything.
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post #73 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:44 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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You sound like you are into the cuckold thing. To each their own but the humiliation and some of the other stuff that goes with that isn't my thing, notice the thread tittle, "hotwife fantasy" there is a difference between that and "cuckolding" and there are extremes with everything.
It is a matter of definition. In my opinion it's a spectrum, with hot-wifing on the low-end and pure out and out cuckold-shaming and gang-bangs on the other. But it's all the same to many of us.

I guess it boils down to how much you yourself would participate. I guess if you and the other guy were spit-roasting your wife that would be a regular MFM threesome..not hotwifing. Maybe "hot-wifing" as you define it is where you sit back with your camera and record your wife banging a dude on the bed without your participation. I don't know.

So you are against the thought of being cuckolded as Tador defines it?
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post #74 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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It is a matter of definition. In my opinion it's a spectrum, with hot-wifing on the low-end and pure out and out cuckold-shaming and gang-bangs on the other. But it's all the same to many of us.

I guess it boils down to how much you yourself would participate. I guess if you and the other guy were spit-roasting your wife that would be a regular MFM threesome..not hotwifing. Maybe "hot-wifing" as you define it is where you sit back with your camera and record your wife banging a dude on the bed without your participation. I don't know.

So you are against the thought of being cuckolded as Tador defines it?
Not into the cuck stuff, more like what he describe below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaDor View Post


#1 If you ever do this : lots of research about communications. I cannot stress that.
#2 refer to #1
#3 If you do this... then no more than 1-2 times a year. kind of like The Purge or Holloween night.
#4 Pandora's box: You bring it up "Remember our fantasies when we were young?" She says "NO". But she thinks about it... There is the new guy in Accounting that's a hunk. And then comes back says she is considering. You say "All right!" - She says "Give me a while to find someone"

Then she is having an affair and your marriage is dying.

Consider the strip clubs perhaps.
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post #75 of 123 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 12:59 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

Hmmmm. I still think you are playing with fire. I think you need to find other ways to spice it up in the bedroom. Why not a little light bondage, or dress up as a high school letterman and have her dress up as a school librarian and....
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