Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Re: The hotwife fantasy
My wife and I only played with others as a couple. That brought us into contact with married couples who had all sorts of arrangements like hot wives, cuckolding, open marriages or just one spouse could play, etc.. We saw the drama and divorces among them and got scared off from it. Rules or not, when emotions come into play, humans tend to make bad decisions. My best friend kept on seeing a girl that he and his wife had a threesome with. Their rule was no dating outside of the threesome but he did and even when caught, kept on doing it.
My wife's girlfriend's husband was married to a hot wife and after 2 years she traded him in for a better model and the guy she divorced is a doctor. His wife was our girlfriend with full permission from him. She asked us 3 times if she could leave her husband and move in with us full time. We do not break up marriages, so we said no each time which is why she is not with us now after 30 years of being our girlfriend.
I can give you lots of stories due to our lifestyle. Keep in mind that in your fantasy you feel no emotions but in real life you are flooded with emotions and not just arousal. Also remember that you cannot make your wife and the other guy perform like puppets for you, so it will not go as you imagine it. I had one guy who wanted to watch me with his wife. He freaked out before I even got his wife's clothes off. Seems that in his fantasy version his wife and I did all the things that turned him on but in real life we did not follow his mental script.
When you bring others into your sex life you are entering a minefield with more mines than fields. Our poly triad worked because it was not another alpha male for me to compete with. Alpha men want all the girls to themselves. Our girlfriend is a woman that my wife and I knew since our teen years whom we both loved and treated like family even before we made it sexual with her.
Reality is much different than fantasy. In real life you have guys who do not want to use condoms, sneak them off after putting them on, and not every guy your wife meets has a big penis and can go for hours. That is porn stuff. In real life you got guys who cannot get it up, ejaculate very quickly, smell, are too rough, treat your wife like a ****, have small penises, have large penises and think that is all they need to bring to bed with them. SOme will even think that just because your wife had sex with them, she is now their girlfriend and stalk her for months. I came home one day and found two guys loitering in front of the house that I shared with my girlfriend, waiting for her to come home. Maybe they saw her driver's license when she was using the bathroom or maybe she told them or they simply looked it up online.
I can also say that if anyone finds out, they are not going to think you are cool for doing it. As I learned the hard way, even good friends will laugh at you and talk trash about you behind your back. They will think your marriage is in trouble. Do not buy the idea that it builds trust. You are actually avoiding trust issues by taking away the thing that is considered a broken trust; cheating since you made sex with others OK even if there are rules. BTW, unless you are there watching, which most wives actually do not like since it inhibits both them and the guy, wives will do anything even if it is against their husband's rules. I have heard a few wives call their husbands after we had sex and what they described had little resemblance to what actually went on. I had bareback sex with all of them even though they were not supposed to. I am sterile so no pregnancy fears but they took my word for it and also that i was STD free. I got my one and only STD from a hot wife who did not know that her husband was cheating on her. He infected her and she infected me and I infected my wife. Could have been worse if I infected our girlfriend and she infected her husband or any of the other guys she was having sex with.
As I said about my marriage in the past; my wife could not cheat on me since there was no rule about her having sex with others. What am I trusting? That she will have sex with others and then always come back to me. That sounds good but in real life that does not always happen. Also note that if you read articles by sex therapist and psychologist, more than half the husbands into this are latent bisexuals. I agree with this after hearing it from their wives who say that their husbands spend hours looking at penises on line and are more into them than they are. Not saying you are bi. I had sex with two guys and am not bi. However, my wife let me have sex with other women because she was a latent bisexual who took years to realize it. By hearing what I did or having sex with me when I smelled and tasted of another women, she was using me as a proxy for her actually being with another woman. For guys like you and me, it is all about the sperm competition which makes sex with your spouse very intense for weeks.
While having sex with other women , sure enough I fell in love with a girl that I spent one night with and continued to see her until I left my wife. I came to my senses a month later and got back with my wife. I have a great wife who shares her girlfriends with me and yet I was overcome with attraction for some reason, to a woman I knew from work. Too dangerous for us and we just stuck to FFM threesomes after that.
One relatively safe game is to have your wife dress sex and sit at a bar and watch guys hitting on her even though she has her wedding band on. At a club you can enjoy watching her dance with other guys and do a little dirty dancing. At the end of the night she returns to you for the last dance before going home and talking about which guy turned her on and why. A little butt and breast touching was allowed and often my wife would feel the man press his erection against her. That was it though. We never took anyone home with us. What we did and saw made sex intense for weeks. We especially had fun on vacations where my wife's wardrobe was mostly from Frederick's of Hollywood. Sometimes she looked like a call girl. Guys were all over her but she knows how to handle herself and if a guy offered to buy her a drink she would tell them that she is married and waiting for her husband to arrive after work. If they still offered the drink, she would take it. If I saw it getting to hot and heavy, I made my appearance and my wife would introduce me to her new friend. I would thank him for the drinks and even offer to buy him one. Never a problem if handled correctly.
My advice is to keep it a fantasy. Trust is trust until the day it is not. If I had a dime for every couple who said that their marriage is strong and they have great trust in each other, and then divorced due to one or both having other lovers, I would have almost a dollar. It is a dangerous game unlike what you read, see or hear online. It destroyed the marriages of our friends and almost mine. Just try to find a real couple who is into that and also into a long married into their old age. Online you will find anything you can think of but in real life they are as rare as hen's teeth. We have yet to find a couple married as long as us who has some form of non monogamous marriage. They all are on second and third wives. It is your life and your choice. I am just telling you the reality of it and I do not think it is worth it. As I got older I got wiser and good thing too because I stopped all those things that were ruining the marriages of our friends and even our siblings.
Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
Last edited by Vinnydee; 02-28-2017 at 02:33 PM.