I don't get off on such a fetish - hell, I don't ever think about it, no concerns. But as we see, each their own - which you have to respect that. No need be repulsed by it.
But then you have the other end of the spectrum in which people are upset that their SO had sex with other people before they even met.
Is it weird that I might be on both spectrums? I sometimes get jealous about my wife having kissed another guy before we got together (we got together when we were 16) but was excited when somebody felt her ass while passing through a crowded restaurant. She was totally outraged when she told me about this, but my first reaction was "wow, that's hot!" (facepalm). She didn't speak to me for two weeks afterwards.
It's really strange, this hotwife thing. It seems different people get off on it for different reasons though. The bisexual thing doesn't resonate with me. I am trying to distill what it is exactly that might be hot about it. Rationally, it seems so very wrong on so many levels but it is as if this 'fantasy' or these thoughts are remnants from the distant primordial past (another male dominating your partner in front of you and the partner getting all ecstatic and you feeling totally helpless?). Perhaps it's some kind of mis-firing or wire mis-crossing? Where excruciating pain is mistaken for some kind of hotness?? I don't know.
I first noticed the thought creep in while watching porn occasionally: I got so bored from it at one time (when I wasn't getting any action due to wife having just given birth for the 3rd time etc) and started imagining my wife in those clips instead. It gave the experience a different dimension and felt "different"/exciting for a while. Then one night I asked her, jokingly, while giving her oral, if she could tell the difference if I left the room and came back to continue, but it turned out it was a friend of mine continuing giving her oral, instead of me? Would she mind that much? A tongue is a tongue etc...(One of the top ten things NOT to say to your wife during oral!).
It's weird. In all the scenarios in my head, the people don't have faces/personalities (except for my wife). As soon as I put a face to them, I am ready to hack them to pieces.
But there is definitely something in those thoughts; as in it is some kind of fetish. But I don't think I could ever go through with it in real life.
Since I also have a mild exhibitionist side, I thought maybe performing sex acts together in front of a webcam in one of those chat rooms where people tell you what things they want to see etc might be a harmless-ish way to live out some of those fantasies (where we'd be in total control and it would be completely anonymous). But I worry she (or I) will still feel horrible afterwards and she will not speak with me for 12 years...
I think she does have (mild) rape fantasies and also is into role play (where I would pretend to be a stranger and take advantage of her etc). These things seem to turn her on.
The brain is a weird thing. I sometimes wish I could exchange mine for something I could understand better.