The hotwife fantasy - Page 9 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #121 of 131 (permalink) Old 03-10-2017, 06:51 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

Rape fantasy was perhaps too strong a word...It's more the fact that she enjoys being dominated, being taken 'advantage' of for my own pleasure and sometimes shamed a little (basically all the opposite things of what they normally teach one at 'school' of what ladies are supposed to enjoy...).

Thinking about it, I don't think I could ever break the boundaries and introduce anyone else inot our sex life. Fantasies are fantasies and thinking about breaking boundaries is exciting purely from the point of view of examining one's own reaction to certain taboo thoughts. Essentially that's what sex is: exploring & breaking boundaries.
Must remember to unlock the cage and let out that midget back into the woods before wife comes home :-)
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post #122 of 131 (permalink) Old 03-14-2017, 06:45 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

Little people... they don't like being called "midgets". Some like to be in cages thou.

Supporting those who want to divorce or reconcile. Not every relationship is the same.
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post #123 of 131 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:04 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

Interesting.

Bringing other people into a monogamous relationship is fraught with dangers, to be sure.

Swinging was mentioned. Divorce rates tossed around. I've seen studies suggesting swingers divorce less often than monogamous couples. Personally I doubt there is any difference.

As it happens my wife is bisexual, and really does appreciate/need a woman in her life on occasion to feel whole. She certainly needs to know it is an option. For several years we did participate in the lifestyle so she could have an easier time finding girlfriends.

Jealousies do need to be taken into account. The worst thing to do is be Politically Correct and say someone should not be jealous of this or that and blithely go on and ignore possible problems. You must accept people do get jealous, no matter how much they may claim they are so modern and won't.

A side note: Every couple we knew who was swinging last century is no longer a couple, except my wife and I. I suspect that is because they were doing it to find something they couldn't get from their Significant Other in another person of the same sex as their Significant Other. My wife and I were involved so she could get something I just simply could not provide for her. She didn't care about the guys at all.

We did have ground rules specifically to deal with jealousy. Neither of us are jealous people, but we still rigorously kept to our rules to make sure there was never any issue at all. We did everything together, always.

But overall I think swinging is bad for a relationship. Most people place too much emphasis on sex as some sort of supreme intimacy. Sex is just sex. It's a fun exercise. But because most people whip it up into some sort of super big deal swinging becomes much too dangerous.

The biggest problems are intimacy issues; showing love for someone other than a spouse, or excluding a spouse. Yes, hiding anything from a spouse is a death knell to a marriage.
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post #124 of 131 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 05:39 AM Thread Starter
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

Thank you everyone for the honest responses.
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post #125 of 131 (permalink) Old 03-25-2017, 06:26 AM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Little people... they don't like being called "midgets". Some like to be in cages thou.
Or jumpy gyms. A jumpy gym full of naked bouncing little people would be awesome.
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post #126 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:37 AM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

If it helps perhaps I could tell you of what happened to me (the fiancé) when she turned into a hot, hot woman. She was only 17 and me 18. Engaged (just) to be married in a few months time. She presented me with the ultimatum of sharing her with a much older colleague from her office or breaking up! Well strangely I went with this and we never looked back. Now still happily married 50 years and she still as hot. A wonderful life and no real problems to show.
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post #127 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 03:45 AM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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If it helps perhaps I could tell you of what happened to me (the fiancé) when she turned into a hot, hot woman. She was only 17 and me 18. Engaged (just) to be married in a few months time. She presented me with the ultimatum of sharing her with a much older colleague from her office or breaking up! Well strangely I went with this and we never looked back. Now still happily married 50 years and she still as hot. A wonderful life and no real problems to show.
Are you still sharing her?
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post #128 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-28-2017, 02:51 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

As someone who actively lives the lifestyle, I can say this:

1. Being open and honest is a must not only for the lifestyle, but marriage in general. It took me years before I was truthful to her about my greatest fantasy.
2. The fantasy is much easier than the initial emotional wave of the reality (at least in my case).
3. There needs to be guidelines and discussion, before and after....(our expectations adjusted based on the "play")
4. I very much doubt it is for everyone, but at least in my personal case, I have a kink and my beautiful wife is in to it as well.
5. Understand the risks and strength of your relationship...our risk was small as our marriage is very strong. If at any moment it feels like it isn't a kinky addition to our marriage, we're both not interested.
6. The reconnecting after her dates (with stories, pics and sometimes vids) is the most intense and aggressive sexual experience we have together....we literally pounce on each other as soon as she's home.


If you have any questions, I can attempt to answer.

I know our marriage isn't for everyone, just like we are not for everyone, but it is fun at the moment and for us that's life, moments of fun.

Last edited by ThatGuy2719; 04-28-2017 at 02:57 PM.
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post #129 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-28-2017, 03:23 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Yea, I don't see why not. Okay. I have a recurring fantasy, and I have shared it with my fiance. He likes it, but sometimes he doesn't. My fantasy is to imagine him sleeping with his exes. lol Idk why. I don't know these past women he's dated, they're faceless in my fantasy, but I like him to tell stories about his exes. He doesn't like it sometimes, because he feels that I'm not focusing on ''us.'' Which isn't true, I am, but there's something very sexy to me about imagining him with other women. So, your wife may come back at you with ''why do you ''need'' this ...aren't I enough?'' So be ready for that question. (My fiance is SO enough, but there is something hot to me about thinking about him with other women. ONLY in fantasy, I would be heartbroken of course if he slept with other women)
On a similar note, one of the things that the Sex Therapist suggested when she worked with my wife and me on saving our marriage was that if there were any "most memorable" sexual experiences that stood out in either of our past, that we could try to (in very positive and controlled way) try to relive them with each other so that they are owned by the married couple now.

Say hypothetically Diedre's fiance had a most memorable BJ, or outdoor sex experience. Diedre and her fiance could discuss the experience and what made it so special to the fiance. She could ask what she could do to make it even more memorable. Assuming she was willing to do it, she could help him re-experience the sex act and practice it a few times with him until he associated his most memorable sexual experience more with her than his ex-girlfriend. Or that is at least the theory we were told.

My wife was a virgin when I first started dating her, so all of her most memorable sex experiences (she claimed and I believed) were with me. For me after 38 or so years of marraige to her, my most memorable sexual experiences were either with my wife or involved acts that my wife would absolutely not do.

I also feel strongly that the OP's Hotwife fantasy, should remain a fantasy and never be turned into a reality.
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post #130 of 131 (permalink) Old 04-28-2017, 04:27 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

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Originally Posted by ThatGuy2719 View Post
As someone who actively lives the lifestyle, I can say this:

1. Being open and honest is a must not only for the lifestyle, but marriage in general. It took me years before I was truthful to her about my greatest fantasy.
2. The fantasy is much easier than the initial emotional wave of the reality (at least in my case).
3. There needs to be guidelines and discussion, before and after....(our expectations adjusted based on the "play")
4. I very much doubt it is for everyone, but at least in my personal case, I have a kink and my beautiful wife is in to it as well.
5. Understand the risks and strength of your relationship...our risk was small as our marriage is very strong. If at any moment it feels like it isn't a kinky addition to our marriage, we're both not interested.
6. The reconnecting after her dates (with stories, pics and sometimes vids) is the most intense and aggressive sexual experience we have together....we literally pounce on each other as soon as she's home.


If you have any questions, I can attempt to answer.

I know our marriage isn't for everyone, just like we are not for everyone, but it is fun at the moment and for us that's life, moments of fun.

Please understand I'm not trying to be flippant, but you consider this a healthy marriage?
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post #131 of 131 (permalink) Old 05-01-2017, 12:37 PM
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Re: The hotwife fantasy

No offense taken. I guess it boils down to what you look for in life and marriage.

I personally wanted someone to walk with for the rest of my days....what paths we took together wasn't predefined (other than house, kids...etc). Sex for us, is recreational and we experience it in all the facets that interest us.

Our marriage is built on being completely open and honest about who we are, and what goes on in our heads....I never wanted my wife to regret discussing a desire with me long past the time that it was a possibility, and she's the same for me....It just really worked out in her favor. It's a kink I have had for most of my life, it was and is completely liberating to no longer have to hide it from her.

But again, I understand it isn't normal.
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