My wife is watching gang bang porn - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 99Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 03:41 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,763
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mollymolz View Post
I think your probably right. There is also the added benefit of excitement and new experiences while furthering the bond with your partner

Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk
You can have great and exciting sex without porn or fetishes or acting out violent rapes, we are proof of that.
Diana7 is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 06:12 AM
Member
 
Mizzbak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 183
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

@Diana7, I don't think that anyone is denying your right to enjoy your sex however you want to. I'm also sure that no-one here is disputing that you are very much enjoying it. But your experience is unique to you.

Regarding your comment above - would you make the same claim that your experience should speak for all when it comes to food, art or music? We are sensual creatures, each of us wired differently. Can you acknowledge that others can also be enough in tune with their own bodies and fantasies that they might get enjoyment from things that bring you no pleasure?

I hate liquorice, but love coriander. I hate rap, but love heavy metal. I love poetry but hate ballet. I love having the back of my neck bitten, but hate a tongue anywhere near my ear. I love feeling helpless during sex, but (usually) hate being on top. I love it when my husband calls me on the way home from a business trip and tells me what to wear when I greet him on my knees in our bedroom, but I hate it when I am politely asked for sex (like it was a cup of tea - true story, total turn-off).

My point is that our sex lives with our partners should be safe spaces. (As a side note, the state of my sex life is a very accurate gauge of the health of my marriage. When we play, I know trust and communication are high. When we don't, then things are usually not going well.) I would no more explore a rape fantasy with someone I didn't know loved and cherished me than I would walk drunk through city streets after midnight (or anywhere, anytime for that matter). But feeling the adrenalin rush of being powerless underneath someone who I do know loves and cherishes me? That, like a spicy curry, is something I can very much enjoy every now and then.

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more. ― C.S. Lewis

FINE PRINT: My post is simply my own opinion (unless indicated otherwise). Which I believe I am entitled to express, as best as I can.
Mizzbak is online now  
post #48 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 08:22 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 172
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I cant agree with this at all. We have a great marriage and great sex life, but we don't use porn and we don't have secrets from each other. We just see sex as something we greatly enjoy but that we see as an expression of love, and bringing any sort of violence into that would be hypocritical to what we see sex as.Plus neither of us want to 'pretend' to rape or to hurt each other.
I am fortunate to have a husband who has never looked at porn and whose sexual desires and needs make it so easy to love him and please him.
Jesus, your delusional
DepressedHusband is offline  
post #49 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 09:45 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 2,607
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

I think there is a lot of variation in people's sexual desires. You are happy without fetishes and that is great. Other people enjoy fetishes and that is great too. People are straight, gay, vanilla, kinky, etc etc.

I see nothing wrong with any couple that enjoys their sex life together as long as what they do is safe and consensual.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
You can have great and exciting sex without porn or fetishes or acting out violent rapes, we are proof of that.
uhtred is offline  
post #50 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 09:48 AM
Forum Supporter
 
SunCMars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: North Coast Nationalist-burg, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,611
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
Just because people like to watch a certain something doesn't mean they want that in real life.


You do not watch "that" which you do not "like".

That is a paradox.

When you like something, you like it.

If you like some types of porn, you like the interplay, the back and forths, the ins and outs.

You may not actually do it, but you inwardly would like to.

Don't hedge, don't tap dance. If you cannot be honest with yourself..who can you be honest with.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......

Sometimes I get very angry about certain places in the world that are human waste dumps. The people are ignorant and savage. I would like to nuke those places. Would I do it if I had the chance?

No. But I would "like to".

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
SunCMars is online now  
post #51 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 09:58 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 172
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post


You do not watch "that" which you do not "like".

That is a paradox.

When you like something, you like it.

If you like some types of porn, you like the interplay, the back and forths, the ins and outs.

You may not actually do it, but you inwardly would like to.

Don't hedge, don't tap dance. If you cannot be honest with yourself..who can you be honest with.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......

Sometimes I get very angry about certain places in the world that are human waste dumps. The people are ignorant and savage. I would like to nuke those places. Would I do it if I had the chance?

No. But I would "like to".

give me the Key, I will push the button for you
DepressedHusband is offline  
post #52 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 10:01 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 270
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I cant agree with this at all. We have a great marriage and great sex life, but we don't use porn and we don't have secrets from each other. We just see sex as something we greatly enjoy but that we see as an expression of love, and bringing any sort of violence into that would be hypocritical to what we see sex as.Plus neither of us want to 'pretend' to rape or to hurt each other.
I am fortunate to have a husband who has never looked at porn and whose sexual desires and needs make it so easy to love him and please him.
How do you know that your husband does not play fetish mind movies in his head? As for that matter - if he is good with computers - you will never know what he looks at. But yah, I would say your husband would be quite smart to not let you know either way.
Aspydad is offline  
post #53 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:02 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,763
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspydad View Post
How do you know that your husband does not play fetish mind movies in his head? As for that matter - if he is good with computers - you will never know what he looks at. But yah, I would say your husband would be quite smart to not let you know either way.
I know, we talk a lot about sex. He is stricter than I am about no porn and being faithful etc. He is a rare man who believes in faithfulness and keeping our minds on each other. He loves the sex we have.
We know what each other does on the computer, we have a joint business and work from home.
There are other men like him believe it or not.
Diana7 is online now  
post #54 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:04 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,763
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by DepressedHusband View Post
Jesus, your delusional
Its interesting that you cant accept that there are many people who have really happy marriages and good sex lives without these things.

Last edited by Diana7; 02-28-2017 at 11:46 AM.
Diana7 is online now  
post #55 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:30 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 104
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Its interesting that you cant accept that there are many people like ourselves that have really happy marriages without these things.
I believe that it is very possible to have a fulfilling and happy marriage with OR without porn. I tend to be a bit skeptical of men who claim they are repulsed by porn or fantasies or do not care for it at all but just because I think that way it does not mean that I cannot accept that it is possible that you and your husband have a very happy marriage.

I think it is important to keep in mind that every marriage/relationship is unique. If something works for you, fantastic, if it doesn't then don't do it but don't expect everyone to limit themsleves to do only what works for you.

Last edited by Itwasjustafantasy; 02-28-2017 at 11:30 AM. Reason: Typo
Itwasjustafantasy is offline  
post #56 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:45 AM
Member
 
katiecrna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,586
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post


You do not watch "that" which you do not "like".

That is a paradox.

When you like something, you like it.

If you like some types of porn, you like the interplay, the back and forths, the ins and outs.

You may not actually do it, but you inwardly would like to.

Don't hedge, don't tap dance. If you cannot be honest with yourself..who can you be honest with.
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......

Sometimes I get very angry about certain places in the world that are human waste dumps. The people are ignorant and savage. I would like to nuke those places. Would I do it if I had the chance?

No. But I would "like to".


Listen I use to watch porn. The porn I watched I am incredible embarrassed and ashamed to watch, but for some reason I liked it and it got me off. I would die if my husband ever found out what I watched. As soon as I was finished, I was grossed out at what I was watching, and I felt shame. But I kept going back to it because when I was in the mood I liked it for some reason.

What I fantasize about or what I watched in porn was the complete opposite of what I liked in reality. That's the fun and fantasy about it.

Here's an example... WATCHING a man be super aggressive (gang bang, face f*cking etc) to a women who is voluntarily doing it is way different than getting ganged banged myself or whatever. There is a HUGE difference.

What one likes in fantasy land is not what they necessarily like in reality. Plus many people who watch porn know... the stimulus needs to increase the more you watch it. Watching Regular missionary sex with a happy couple doesn't cut it after a while. That's the problem with porn.

So this guy can't judge his wife based on what she watches on porn. Of course unless it's illegal.
katiecrna is online now  
post #57 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 11:52 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,763
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by Itwasjustafantasy View Post
I believe that it is very possible to have a fulfilling and happy marriage with OR without porn. I tend to be a bit skeptical of men who claim they are repulsed by porn or fantasies or do not care for it at all but just because I think that way it does not mean that I cannot accept that it is possible that you and your husband have a very happy marriage.

I think it is important to keep in mind that every marriage/relationship is unique. If something works for you, fantastic, if it doesn't then don't do it but don't expect everyone to limit themsleves to do only what works for you.
I never said repulsed, but people who, knowing the dangers and knowing our human weaknesses, avoid it. Who see it as being unfaithful and bringing others into the marriage. Who see it as disrespectful to their spouses to do it.
Diana7 is online now  
post #58 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 12:06 PM
Member
 
katiecrna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,586
My wife is watching gang bang porn

We are hijacking the OPs thread.
@sly8 how do you know she watches gang bang porn? Did she tell you openly or did you find it on her computer snooping?

What alarms me is not the content, but the frequency. Watching porn Multiple times a day is what makes your wife's case abnormal.

So did she tell you she does this multiple times a day or do you spy on her? Has she came out and talk to you about the gang bang porn? This is important because this is when people want to make the transition from fantasy to reality. Or in some form.
katiecrna is online now  
post #59 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 12:45 PM
Member
 
Vinnydee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Southern USA, but longtime NYC boy prior to our move.
Posts: 639
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Gang bangs are not an uncommon fantasy that women have. It is the ultimate in being show how desired you are. Around here there is a private club that you can join by paying at the door, where women can be gang banged in a safe environment. They get to chose the men and what can be done to them by each one. The club is just a gang bang club and they get around the law of prostitution by making it club dues and not pay for sex. Husbands bring wives and there is usually 2-3 women for 25 guys. Not all participate. Some watch. To have a dedicated club for gang bangs in a major city shows how popular it is. If they do not have an volunteers, they get porn actresses to fill in the empty slots, pun intended.

I had a girlfriend who constantly needed validation that she was as hot as she was as a high school cheerleader. She did that by having sex with every man she met that would accommodate her. One day she walked into my living room and asked my three best friends to gang bang her, me included of course. They did not want to but she gave us all oral sex and I kicked her out the next day.

In practice, organizing a gang bang is not as easy as it sounds. We think all guys will jump at the chance to have free sex with a good looking woman. The reality is that most guys do not want to be naked and have sex in a group of men. Penis size, body and performance issues all come into play. Most times some of the guys are so nervous that they do not show up and you end up with a three or foursome instead. Some are so nervous that they cannot get an erection or ejaculate too fast. There are also men who think that just because they had sex with your wife that she is automatically their girlfriend and will try to get her to have sex with them alone. You also have to deal with the issue of some becoming upset if they are told that they cannot do this or that sex act that they thought they would be able to do.

What you see in porn is paid actors. Guys who have done this before. Trying to find these guys via ads is downright dangerous and no matter how you find the guys you will have to deal with all sorts of problems with them. My ex girlfriend had the right idea, there was a group of us four men already there but none of us wanted to gang bang her. That is the reality. So I would not worry unless your wife hangs out with less then classy guys who have done this before. Having all your friends gang bang your wife is a porn thing, not a reality thing as I found out. Plus when you have people you know have sex with your girlfriend or wife, they do not think you are a cool guy, alpha male, have a good or trusting marriage. They think less of you and talk about you behind your back. Also I lost two girlfriends to friends after we had groups sex. When I married my wife I made sure that she was a virgin and did not even have oral sex yet. I kept her away from friends and am no longer trust friend or women 100%. They are good liars and will insist that they were not cheating even if you saw then naked in bed with someone. If that does not work, they cry. If that does not work they blame you for making them cheat.

Perhaps this is why I did not have a monogamous marriage, you think? Despite being careful in my selection of a wife, she turned out to be biseuxal as are the only other two girls in my life since the age of 15. I seem to be a bisexual magnet so I had to worry about cheating with girls as well as guys all of my life. Luckily my wife will not have sex with anyone else unless I take part. She is old fashioned that way. She is a very conservative woman who does not like to even talk about sex but the things she has done is more than most of those outwardly sexually aggressive woman do. You cannot judge a wife by the cover.

Unless your wife has no body issues and is comfortable in handling a group of strangers who want to have sex with her, I would not worry. Gang bangs are hard to setup but if a woman meets a group of guys willing to do it after a few drinks, you never know. I was shocked when my wife accepted an invitation to wife swap but she drank too much that night. I went along with it and she hated it so much that she never wanted to have sex with another man again, except me. Girls were a different matter.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality.
Vinnydee is online now  
post #60 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-28-2017, 01:32 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 130
Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

I myself am Anti-porn, that being said, if YOU don't mind her watching in general, then the content shouldn't matter. Gang bangs can be pretty savage looking, but maybe that's what she wants ? you to be an ANIMAL. I'm all for respectful loving sex, but damn, some times we just want to be ****ed, hard and dirty. Yah know? My husband was pretty mild once upon a time, now not so much. He though he wouldn't be into kinky stuff and I never seen him.enjoyng it either, but DAMN were we wrong.

For me it's about the alpha-ness of it all. Maybe your wife is looking for something a little more hardcore. I suggest investing in a quality sex swing, those things are amazing. And it may be a more milder way to give her the wildness she's looking for without bringing others into the bedroom (don't cross that line just for her sake, you will never feel right about it after)
Saibasu is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should my wife reconsider decision to divorce? Ricji Considering Divorce or Separation 14 01-19-2017 11:23 AM
Married, both polyamorous, but I still love my ex girlfriend SketchScratcher Considering Divorce or Separation 7 09-04-2016 02:35 PM
Wife dropped a small bomb on me last night breathedeep General Relationship Discussion 623 04-02-2016 04:51 PM
My wife watches lesbian porn and it's freaking me out karrador General Relationship Discussion 7 04-01-2016 10:44 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome