My wife is watching gang bang porn - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
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My wife is watching gang bang porn

My wife (who is 24, I am 30) has been watching porn lately. That in itself is not a problem. I have never minded if she watched, though she said she didn't. It's not that she's watching porn, it's the content that she is watching. She does it privately, multiple times a day. She hides it from me.

She has been watching gang bang porn. Not only just gang bangs, but bondage gang bangs and one that she watched over and over easily could have passed as a rape gang bang. I don't know what to think about it, this cannot be normal?

I am her only sexual partner. She has never done anything like that before, nor given any sign that she wants to. I am NOT into that. I haven't mentioned this to her yet... I don't know what to say. She is a very quiet, sweet woman, this isn't what I'd ever expect from her. Is this just normal fantasies?

Please don't troll... I seriously debated posting this. I tried to just Google it but all I came back with was every porn site on the web.
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post #2 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 03:56 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

Let her. If it's not problematic for your sex life then she should be able to explore her fantasies. Lots of people watch things in porn that they would never want in real life. As long as your sex life together is good I wouldn't worry.

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post #3 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:00 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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Let her. If it's not problematic for your sex life then she should be able to explore her fantasies. Lots of people watch things in porn that they would never want in real life. As long as your sex life together is good I wouldn't worry.

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Our sex life is ok. The sex isn't mind blowing, never has been though. She has never talked to me about her fantasies, she said she didn't have any. I don't know if this is a recent thing she's discovered or if it's always been something she's liked. I feel like, looking back, she has tested the waters with things she has said to me. Gang bangs, even just MMF, are not happening. I had my fun back in my younger days.

She's also watched gay men porn, which at first I found odd but I guess that's no different than a man watching lesbian porn.
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post #4 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:03 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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Originally Posted by sly8 View Post
My wife (who is 24, I am 30) has been watching porn lately. That in itself is not a problem. I have never minded if she watched, though she said she didn't. It's not that she's watching porn, it's the content that she is watching. She does it privately, multiple times a day. She hides it from me.

She has been watching gang bang porn. Not only just gang bangs, but bondage gang bangs and one that she watched over and over easily could have passed as a rape gang bang. I don't know what to think about it, this cannot be normal?

I am her only sexual partner. She has never done anything like that before, nor given any sign that she wants to. I am NOT into that. I haven't mentioned this to her yet... I don't know what to say. She is a very quiet, sweet woman, this isn't what I'd ever expect from her. Is this just normal fantasies?

Please don't troll... I seriously debated posting this. I tried to just Google it but all I came back with was every porn site on the web.

We all have our fantasies and they're endless.

If she watches porn, just be honest and say, I watch porn from time to time.

One of her fantasies is to be almost raped, tied to the bed? I would say, do this fantasy with her and get good at it. She will remember that.....or you can say, I'm not into that and nuts to her. She will remember that as well....as long as its between the two of you.

Take care of her needs and she will take care of your needs.

That means doing things you may not love to do but she is your wife and time to man up and take care of her fantasy.....find out how to surprise her, tie her down and have sex with her....blind fold her.....rock her world. You will bond together even more.

Buy something like this

https://www.alibaba.com/product-deta...838.0.0.yJG7J4

Tie her to the bed, blind folded, use this on her while you have sex with her......I think she would never forget that.

Strength and Honor. What we do in life echo's in eternity.

Last edited by CuddleBug; 02-25-2017 at 04:16 PM.
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post #5 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:06 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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Our sex life is ok. The sex isn't mind blowing, never has been though. She has never talked to me about her fantasies, she said she didn't have any. I don't know if this is a recent thing she's discovered or if it's always been something she's liked. I feel like, looking back, she has tested the waters with things she has said to me. Gang bangs, even just MMF, are not happening. I had my fun back in my younger days.

She's also watched gay men porn, which at first I found odd but I guess that's no different than a man watching lesbian porn.
Maybe the conversations you've had where you feel like she's testing the waters are her trying to gauge your reaction to her being truthful about her fantasies? I've mentioned a few things I think I'd like to my husband. He didn't seem interested so I tend to keep my fantasies to myself because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I'd rather have sex with him that we both enjoy. Maybe your wife is doing the same? Has she ever explored these types of things prior to you? It could be she got lost on a porn site one day and her interest in these things spiralled from there.

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post #6 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:16 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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She does it privately, multiple times a day.
The bolded is the only part of what she is doing that is concerning. How does she have time to do this multiple times per day. Does she not work or have other responsibilities?
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post #7 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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We all have our fantasies and they're endless.

If she watches porn, just be honest and say, I watch porn from time to porn.

One of her fantasies is to be almost raped, tied to the bed? I would say, do this fantasy with her and get good at it. She will remember that.....or you can say, I'm not into that and nuts to her. She will remember that as well....

Take care of her needs and she will take care of your needs.

That means doing things you may not love to do but she is your wife and time to man up and take care of her fantasy.....find out how to surprise her, tie her down and have sex with her....blind fold her.....rock her world. You will bond together even more.

Buy something like this

https://www.alibaba.com/product-deta...838.0.0.yJG7J4

Tie her to the bed, blind folded, use this on her while you have sex with her......I think she would never forget that.
The farthest I've gone (which was with a different woman) into BDSM was handcuffs. That was enough for me. I really don't think I'd be able to go THIS far with her. She hasn't talked to me about it ever, should I try and get it out of her? Maybe if I pretended to be into it she'd "show interest". She's quite a shy person. It took a long time for her to even tell me what felt good and what didn't, still working on that really. A machine like that could eliminate the need for additional men.

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Originally Posted by Mollymolz View Post
Maybe the conversations you've had where you feel like she's testing the waters are her trying to gauge your reaction to her being truthful about her fantasies? I've mentioned a few things I think I'd like to my husband. He didn't seem interested so I tend to keep my fantasies to myself because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I'd rather have sex with him that we both enjoy. Maybe your wife is doing the same? Has she ever explored these types of things prior to you? It could be she got lost on a porn site one day and her interest in these things spiralled from there.

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She was a complete virgin before we met. She had only kissed one guy and it didn't progress from there. It does worry me that she'll want to explore her sexuality now because she never has. We have never explored anything like this. She has always said she had no fetishes or fantasies. I was with a virgin for 3 years before I met my wife and she ended up cheating with a large number of men. So the fear could be stemming from that.
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post #8 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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The bolded is the only part of what she is doing that is concerning. How does she have time to do this multiple times per day. Does she not work or have other responsibilities?
We have an infant, she's staying home to take care of him right now. She's been watching when he goes down for a nap (twice a day) and at night in bed.
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post #9 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:22 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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The farthest I've gone (which was with a different woman) into BDSM was handcuffs. That was enough for me. I really don't think I'd be able to go THIS far with her. She hasn't talked to me about it ever, should I try and get it out of her? Maybe if I pretended to be into it she'd "show interest". She's quite a shy person. It took a long time for her to even tell me what felt good and what didn't, still working on that really. A machine like that could eliminate the need for additional men.



She was a complete virgin before we met. She had only kissed one guy and it didn't progress from there. It does worry me that she'll want to explore her sexuality now because she never has. We have never explored anything like this. She has always said she had no fetishes or fantasies. I was with a virgin for 3 years before I met my wife and she ended up cheating with a large number of men. So the fear could be stemming from that.
Try to let the fear go. She's your wife. She married you hopefully because she's in love with you. Don't pretend to be interested in BDSM stuff if you're not. It'll only confuse and possibly hurt your wife. It could cause her to be more shy. I think you should try not to worry. Tons of men watch threesoms in porn buy from what I've read on this site and others is that most men are dead against actually having them. I think the same sort of idea can be applied to your wifes tastes in porn

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post #10 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:37 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

So I read some erotica that described the heroine having sex with multiple partners simultaneously. It was sci-fi erotica (which is somehow more morally acceptable in my mind, which I know makes no sense). I did not have any experience in the mechanics of such things, so I was curious about how it would work. Geometrically, so to speak. So I looked at some porn similar to what you describe. I think.

Anywho. It was weird ... and arousing. Probably because of the hangover effect from the erotica, more then in and of itself. But I did enjoy watching it, which freaked me out. Especially because "normal" porn leaves me cold. This led to a conversation with my husband. This was a good thing. Because it opened up our discussion of sexual fantasies. No, we do not now or EVER intend to have multiple partner or other-partner-of any-kind sex. But my husband asked me why I was aroused by it. And I explained that I was turned on by the thought of being helpless, and of being surrounded. So we incorporated some of that into occasional sex play. No, we did not go all 50 shades of grey, either. But it definitely added spice to our sex life.

I agree with @Mollymolz that lots of people watch things in porn that they would never want to do in real life. She is hiding it from you because she is ashamed of watching it, perhaps ashamed of being aroused by it, or because she thinks you will judge her. The problem with hiding things is that it is easier to become obsessed with forbidden things. If you do judge her for this, then I would let it go as a private thing that she is entitled to do in her own fantasy world. But I think that this would be sad. Because we are wired in strange and wonderful ways. And sex is about discovery. Don't judge her. Tell her you noticed, but that you were more concerned about her keeping it a secret from you than about the actual content. And then ask her why she watches it. I say again, don't judge her. Just invite her to open her heart and mind to you.

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.
― C.S. Lewis
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post #11 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:39 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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So I read some erotica that described the heroine having sex with multiple partners simultaneously. It was sci-fi erotica (which is somehow more morally acceptable in my mind, which I know makes no sense). I did not have any experience in the mechanics of such things, so I was curious about how it would work. Geometrically, so to speak. So I looked at some porn similar to what you describe. I think.

Anywho. It was weird ... and arousing. Probably because of the hangover effect from the erotica, more then in and of itself. But I did enjoy watching it, which freaked me out. Especially because "normal" porn leaves me cold. This led to a conversation with my husband. This was a good thing. Because it opened up our discussion of sexual fantasies. No, we do not now or EVER intend to have multiple partner or other-partner-of any-kind sex. But my husband asked me why I was aroused by it. And I explained that I was turned on by the thought of being helpless, and of being surrounded. So we incorporated some of that into occasional sex play. No, we did not go all 50 shades of grey, either. But it definitely added spice to our sex life.

I agree with @Mollymolz that lots of people watch things in porn that they would never want to do in real life. She is hiding it from you because she is ashamed of watching it, perhaps ashamed of being aroused by it, or because she thinks you will judge her. The problem with hiding things is that it is easier to become obsessed with forbidden things. If you do judge her for this, then I would let it go as a private thing that she is entitled to do in her own fantasy world. But I think that this would be sad. Because we are wired in strange and wonderful ways. And sex is about discovery. Don't judge her. Tell her you noticed, but that you were more concerned about her keeping it a secret from you than about the actual content. And then ask her why she watches it. I say again, don't judge her. Just invite her to open her heart and mind to you.
I whole heartedly agree with everything you've said. I couldn't put it better myself.

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post #12 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 04:50 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

@CuddleBug [BIG EYES] that is quite a ... uh ... machine.

OK - I was thinking to start a lot smaller. For example, (and to be fairly blunt) something that worked well for me was trying an anal plug during normal vaginal sex. Get the surrounded feeling but with nothing that needs to be plugged in (no pun intended). And just the two of you. Did I mention "Start small!" enough?

... still blinking.

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.
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post #13 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 05:25 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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@CuddleBug [BIG EYES] that is quite a ... uh ... machine.

OK - I was thinking to start a lot smaller. For example, (and to be fairly blunt) something that worked well for me was trying an anal plug during normal vaginal sex. Get the surrounded feeling but with nothing that needs to be plugged in (no pun intended). And just the two of you. Did I mention "Start small!" enough?

... still blinking.

If she is into rape porn, imagine two guys pounding her hard.

You and this sexual aid or something else she might love. But you get the general idea.

Start blind folding her, tie her to the bed, you use a toy on her and also have sex with her. That's pretty close, right?

I'm sure she will be very surprised and blown away. Happy wife happy life.

Strength and Honor. What we do in life echo's in eternity.
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post #14 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 05:28 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

[QUOTE=sly8;17430362]The farthest I've gone (which was with a different woman) into BDSM was handcuffs. That was enough for me. I really don't think I'd be able to go THIS far with her. She hasn't talked to me about it ever, should I try and get it out of her? Maybe if I pretended to be into it she'd "show interest". She's quite a shy person. It took a long time for her to even tell me what felt good and what didn't, still working on that really. A machine like that could eliminate the need for additional men.



Talk to her about it and say I have a sexual fantasy rape porn....see how she reacts?

She might open up and start saying, I'd love to do that. Then you go from there, lets do this......very happy woman. She'll open up more with her other fantasies.

Strength and Honor. What we do in life echo's in eternity.
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post #15 of 76 (permalink) Old 02-25-2017, 05:58 PM
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Re: My wife is watching gang bang porn

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We have an infant, she's staying home to take care of him right now. She's been watching when he goes down for a nap (twice a day) and at night in bed.
Not so long ago, I was a new mother at home with a newborn. The desire to escape (just for a moment) is incredibly normal. To want to use sexual pleasure to do that. Also normal.

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.
― C.S. Lewis
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