Re: I did bad things and now my marriage is in trouble
It sounds like your wife doesn't want the sex aspect of it. Meaning she may even think "sex" is dirty, and she doesn't want to be associated with porn or masturbation, etc. Everyone has their own level of sexuality. What is hers? I would bet she views sex with you as "making love" and that's it. Ever been kinky, at all?
Keep in mind you have now shown her, and told her, that you are capable of just "using" women to get off:
"And when I made the suggestion one other time about her "inspiring me" while I masturbate, I could tell she wanted nothing to do with it and she told me later that it makes her feel used when I did that. So of course that put an end to that. "
My advice to you would be to do some work at making it clear that you are not using her for sex. That is a fear for a lot of women. And they don't respond to "all I want is sex everyday".
You can go get SEX anywhere! Online for free. Go use someone else. They want to know that you desire HER, that you love her.
Somehow, you have to SHOW her that you think more highly of her than the online girls you have been using.
I think that is the hardest part of porn for women to accept. That their loving husband is capable of just using women for sex. Not a very attractive trait.