Help!! Advice!! - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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Help!! Advice!!

I have been married for 22 years. Happy life. Without giving too much "one sided" info. The past 11 years, we have been involved in having "threesomes", mostly with women because I have never wanted another man. There have been at least 9 women, some multiple times. Recently, there have been 2 men, one time each. I have always said "I don't want another man." During sex, which my husband calls 'pillow talk' he has talked about me being with him and multiple guys. One time he said "Do you want to do it alone... I won't be mad."(fact to know-- before my husband, I had sex with 1 other man I was married to, and 1 man with my husband) Well, anyway.... I did it. This guy popped up( a guy who we knew about 6 years ago, my husband and I had sex on our bed next to this guy and his girlfriend having sex, no swapping)out of nowhere. He was looking for my husband. I said he wasn't home. He asked me if I still smoke weed, I said "yes." He ran to his car and said he had just bought some at the club. We smoked for while. Then he said to me "I'll give you $500 bucks to ****." I laughed him off. Then he stood up and counted out $500 in $20's. I walked back to my bedroom, he put $500 bucks in my back pocket. I showered off, so did he. WeHELP!!!!! had sex. My husband says it lasted for 4 hours. He wasnít here. In reality...2 hours. We had sex. Including anal. He couldnít stay hard, it has been said he came really quick, and tried to keep goingÖ well, our 16 year old daughter walked into my room while I was ****ing the other guy. It IS my fault. I didnít make sure my room door was locked. I understand I ****ed that one up! He gets up and dressed. A few minutes later, a foot came thru my door. My daughter called my husband, who called his friend to evacuate the guy that was here. The guy ran into my bathroom and climbed out the window.
He came back the next morning to see how things were. If my husband was mad. He was here for 15 minutes maybe.
Now, it seems that guy brought a STD to me, also my husband. No, I didn't use a condom. So, my husband calls me stupid *****, **** and prostitute. OkayÖ antibiotics and a shot. Done.
Now, I never contacted this guy in anyway. Before or after. Itís sex. Not a relationship. My husband won a vacation. And he says he is taking another girl who is just a friend. That I donít deserve to go. I have been unfaithful and I am scum.
I donít know what to doÖ. I will read and be thankful for any comments!
UNFORGIVEN
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 10:44 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

Hmmm sounds like a big problem


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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 02-27-2017, 11:28 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

This is what happens when you start bringing other people into a marriage, it ends in tears. What you did was basically have sex for money, made yourself into a prostitute, but your husband hasn't helped with his low morals either.Cant see how he can accuse you of something that he has done as well.
What sort of example is this setting your children? Even if she hadn't seen you, she was there to see this man come out of your bedroom and leave the house. Is that what you want?

Faithfulness is vital in marriage. If your marriage lasts this, I would stop this other stuff for good and be faithful to each other.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 03:58 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

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This is what happens when you start bringing other people into a marriage, it ends in tears. What you did was basically have sex for money, made yourself into a prostitute, but your husband hasn't helped with his low morals either.Cant see how he can accuse you of something that he has done as well.
What sort of example is this setting your children? Even if she hadn't seen you, she was there to see this man come out of your bedroom and leave the house. Is that what you want?

Faithfulness is vital in marriage. If your marriage lasts this, I would stop this other stuff for good and be faithful to each other.


I don't think that's the OP's question but I'm sure she appreciates your judgy response


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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:15 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

Wow............
Holy Mother of God. You people surely made a mess of your lives. The worst is your 16 years old daughter seeing you having sex with another man. You have bigger problems than your f***ed up marriage. Your kid has lost all respect for you. Good luck working that out.

Your marriage is toxic. You are worried that he is punishing you, girl you have more issues to worry about. You took money for sex. What is wrong with you? You took your lifestyle to a different level by taking money for sex.

Why do you want to stay married to this guy anyway?
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:20 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

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I don't think that's the OP's question but I'm sure she appreciates your judgy response


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Some people just need warning that what they are doing is madness.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:40 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

What do you want us to say, OP? I mean, this marriage is beyond screwed IMO. I'll humour you. Your husband said you could have sex with another man alone, he wouldn't be mad. So why is he mad? Because you didn't use a condom? Did you two previously agree that you must always use protection? If not, then I don't see why he blames you. How were you supposed to know this fellah had an STD?

We need more details. Like I said I think this thing is in the dumpster but give us more details still.

Even if I don't get likes for it, I'm still going to say it.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-01-2017, 04:45 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

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Originally Posted by madwoman32 View Post
Now, I never contacted this guy in anyway. Before or after. Itís sex. Not a relationship. My husband won a vacation. And he says he is taking another girl who is just a friend. That I donít deserve to go. I have been unfaithful and I am scum.
I donít know what to doÖ. I will read and be thankful for any comments!
UNFORGIVEN
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 01:30 PM
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Re: Help!! Advice!!

Husband into swinging.
Tells wife to have sex with other guys.
Probably sends old friend to her to have sex.
"Outraged"
Suddenly he has a girl to take on vacation.

If this is real, it was a set-up.
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