Overdue update - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 06:35 PM
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Re: Overdue update

My wife is asexual (five times in six-plus years), and I've noticed my drive has gone down (it's not totally dead, but it's not what it was). I do masturbate sometimes, but even then I notice that it's not as strong, if you know what I mean.

Some people (men and women) just don't view sex as an important part of a marriage. My wife views sex as work and is always complaining about being tired, having a headache, etc. so I don't even bother. If she's in the mood, she knows where to find me - I've given up trying.
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post #17 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:07 PM
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Re: Overdue update

If you've decided to stay in a sexless marriage; then it is a blessing if your sex drive withers up and dies.
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post #18 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:19 PM
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are you saying you had sex exactly two times, and got her pregnant both times? Really? The odds of that are around zero, she is shtooping the mail man too.
No. This is entirely possible.
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post #19 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:25 PM
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Re: Overdue update

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My wife is asexual (five times in six-plus years), and I've noticed my drive has gone down (it's not totally dead, but it's not what it was). I do masturbate sometimes, but even then I notice that it's not as strong, if you know what I mean.

Some people (men and women) just don't view sex as an important part of a marriage. My wife views sex as work and is always complaining about being tired, having a headache, etc. so I don't even bother. If she's in the mood, she knows where to find me - I've given up trying.
Yeah...you guys (and gals) craving sex all the time have no freaking clue how difficult it is to put 30 minutes of grueling effort into sex...

Asexuals can kiss my ass. Seriously. If you don't want to have sex, DON'T MARRY PEOPLE WITH NORMAL SEX DRIVES!!! Extremely self centered people. How hard is it to find another asexual to spend the rest of your life with???
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post #20 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:26 PM
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Re: Overdue update

Tyler, it will be interesting to see where you are at in 5 years. Hopefully you are at in your 40s. Otherwise...
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post #21 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:30 PM
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Re: Overdue update

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Asexuals can kiss my ass. Seriously. If you don't want to have sex, DON'T MARRY PEOPLE WITH NORMAL SEX DRIVES!!!


@tyler1978 I don't know your story. Was it like this from day one with your wife?

Was there any sexual activity before marriage?

Do you think you were deceived; or was she always disinterested in sex?
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post #22 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:03 PM
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are you saying you had sex exactly two times, and got her pregnant both times? Really? The odds of that are around zero, she is shtooping the mail man too.
No. This is entirely possible.
but highly improbable
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post #23 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:14 PM Thread Starter
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As I state in a previous post, my timeline was a bit off. Had sex 3 or 4 times in july 2013, conceived a child. Have had sex twice since that time, the second time conceiving our daughter born in december 2016
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post #24 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:14 PM Thread Starter
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We were fairly active until 2010 when it simply dried up. We were married in 2009. I do not feel deceived just a bit abandoned.
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post #25 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 08:31 PM
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Re: Overdue update

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We get along great as friends and coparents. Thoughtful gifts, pleasant conversation, helping each other out before work, etc. I get all the benefits of a marriage except sex. It used to dominate my thoughts but some emotional cost/benefit analysis said that lack of sex would not hurt as much as not seeing my kids every morning/night/day.
Would that really change if you got divorced though. You can still be good friends and co-parents and you can find someone else.
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post #26 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 12:51 AM Thread Starter
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I don't know. I guess I should entertain the idea. Living elsewhere automatically says to me that I would not see them every night, every morning, and every minute of the weekends and holidays. It's worth considering
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post #27 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 08:14 AM
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Re: Overdue update

I sometimes wonder if people put so much into the relationships with their kids because of the hole in their marriage and hearts.

Either that or I'm a giant ****

I travelled for 9 years - gone weekdays. Stopped when my youngest were 2 (now 18) to be present as a father figure.

But I'm positive I could live with 50% coparenting. Kids don't require more - they are amazing, adaptable things.

They actually don't benefit from being smothered (after the first few years)

Any chance you are getting more love from them to compensate for what's missing in the marriage?


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post #28 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 05:31 PM Thread Starter
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That's probably the case. At the moment, it is satisfying enough. Getting nothing from the wife is not bothering me like it used to.
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post #29 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-07-2017, 06:04 PM
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Re: Overdue update

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are you saying you had sex exactly two times, and got her pregnant both times? Really? The odds of that are around zero, she is shtooping the mail man too.
Nah. Reckless and irresponsible advice based on false facts doled out by someone who really has no clue.

Me and the exwife used the withdrawal method until we were ready to have kids. I left it in, shot my load twice, and she got pregnant immediately on both occasions (4 years apart).

If you're both fertile and you give her a load of sperm while she's ovulating, which is a few days out of each month, you can go ahead and start putting the nursery together.

The odds of pregnancy from one particular copulation or even two may not be 100% but they certainly aren't close to zero.
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post #30 of 41 (permalink) Old 03-08-2017, 08:09 AM
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Re: Overdue update

Especially since the wife was probably tracing and knew when she was fertile. If she is averse to sex with her H as she seems, she would want to make sure she didn't have to tolerate that interaction any more often than absolutely necessary.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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