Building sexual tension - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-19-2017, 12:37 AM
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Re: Building sexual tension

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Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
I think that while the OP can appreciate that, however it is being asked as to what would you do if you woke up one day to find that spark was no longer "just there" anymore.

Perhaps you don't like games, but confidence when combined with playfulness in a way that is fun and nurturing towards the other partner's libido can not only create a spark but it can take you places that you never could have anticipated.
This does not actually relate to my post at all. You said "we all want what we think we cannot have", simply saying this is not true for ALL of us. Absolutely not true for me.

As for confidence, playfulness etc yes this is a huge part of life here. We love role play, light bondage etc however mind games are of no interest for either MrH or myself.
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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 03-19-2017, 11:59 AM
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Re: Building sexual tension

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Originally Posted by MrsHolland View Post
This does not actually relate to my post at all. You said "we all want what we think we cannot have", simply saying this is not true for ALL of us. Absolutely not true for me.
I can agree with you. Regarding "we all want what we think we cannot have" I meant that as a form of playful overtones used in mild role play. The OP said:

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Originally Posted by Saibasu View Post
For us, we see delayed gratification as one of the biggest builders of sexual tension.
Sometimes "delayed gratification" can simply mean taking your time not being in too big of a hurry. And some mild teasing can create an essence of thinking you can't have something while at the same time you know you partner is not withholding anything. It is about just taking your time and being playful.

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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 04-03-2017, 12:03 PM
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Re: Building sexual tension

I think that it is little different for everyone. It depends on a woman's comfort level with herself, her appearance, her accomplishments, and how she views life in general...

With that said. A few things are universal:
  1. Eye contact then look her up and down. But it has to be perfectly timed, just a tad past the comfort zone. Just glance at her a little longer than she expects. Then inhale deeply. At first, she will likely think that you angry with her. But just before she has a chance to think that, you smirk and look away. You have just let her know that you find her interesting and attractive...
  2. In morning, before anyone gets cleaned up, you brush up against her and absent mindedly ask her if that is a new perfume she is wearing from yesterday. She will laugh at you and maybe even roll her eyes. This is not a bad thing. Just smirk as if you are slightly suspicious and humor her with a nice "okay".
  3. Do something physically challenging. Let her see that you have worked up a sweat. Do not show any fatigue. It doesn't have to be anything dangerous or truly hard, so long as you are sweating but not out of breath. Better yet. Go for a 20 min jog after the perfume comment...
  4. By her a nice dress (red or black). Go out for dinner somewhere you have never taken her before (someplace nice but not super nice either). Make sure that the dress fits right. Again. MAKE SURE THE DRESS FITS RIGHT. What ever you do: MAKE SURE THE DRESS YOU BUY FITS RIGHT. When she asks you why you picked this place, where did you hear about it, tell you heard about it from a friend and just wanted to check it out for yourself (works well if its a new restaurant, but works even better if its an existing place just tell her they revamped the menu and you were curious). BTW, make effing sure the dress fits!!!
  5. Be a little aloof (but not of the dress more on that in a sec). This one is the mother of all moving targets (different people are different about this and even the same person can vary on any given day). But get this right and, yeah...
  6. Act surprised (when she omes out in the dress). I know this contradicts the above. We are trying to build tension here after all.
  7. While in the car play this Thievery Corporation - Saudade and ask her what she thinks of it. Be like you're not sure yourself if you like it or not but are just looking for her opinion. It doesn't matter if you personally like this music or not. Just trust me.
  8. Walk in on her while exiting the shower or getting dressed and act just a little surprised when you see her, as if you are trying to mute your astonishment. Immediately apologize for "barging in" like a fool and walk out.
  9. Non-nonchalantly take and use something personal of hers (she must see you do this), like use her pillow instead of your own, take a sip from her glass, use her napkin, or finish off the few bites she doesn't eat at dinner (but convey you couldn't care less about the food itself).
  10. At dinner, ask questions that get her talking about something she loves and can't stop talking about. Let her get excited about it (this is important). When the waiter or waitress comes, if you know what your wife wants, order for the both you without taking your eyes off of your wife. Then re-engage the conversation exactly where it left off.

I could go on and on and on... But you get the point.

If you fail (except the dress one - MAKE SURE THE DRESS FITS), it won't matter. She will appreciate the effort you made no matter how this pans out...

I can't tell you how long to do this for either. For some it may take a couple of days, for some it may take a couple of weeks. Timing is everything!! Don't be overly anxious but don't wait too long either.

Last edited by james5588; 04-03-2017 at 12:15 PM.
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