what is likely going to happened? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 12:24 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Originally Posted by Bleika Lii View Post
No,no, no. You got me wrong. I'm not that girl and not that boy either. I just had a conversation (chat) with my friends. And one of them told me he was sexual addicted for some period of time. But he is the guy who is not "club guy" and doesn't go on purpose to look for girl for one night. But there he was with friend (girl) overnight and she offered the sex. First he said no, she offered again, again, again. Just sex, nothing more. No kisses, no hugs, just sex. And just because he was sexual addicted in that period, he agreed.
But he said it was awful to think with who he is doing this, not because she was friend of him, but because she wasn't attractive and guy didn't have a feelings for her. But he just didn't look in her face, didn't kiss here and just tried to do it. When he was doing sex, he told that head down there took all control and from that moment was better feeling, because he hadn't think about her, but just about sex. He did it few more times, but everytime with the same awful feeling, just because he was sexual addicted. Everytime after sex he felt bad and regret and wanted to go away faster. But the "sexual addiction" was out of control. After few times he couldn't stand it anymore and quit. I understand that people do sex for many reasons, and I was shamed to asked him all what i ask here, but is it really possible for guys to do it just because you are sexual addicted?
My husband is a sex addict, and what you describe is NOT. True sex addicts use sex as a means of dealing with stressors in their life. That does NOT mean that they screw anything with two legs. In fact, it's often the opposite. Many people think that sex addiction = sex all the time but nothing could be further from the truth.

Your friend displays a sorry lack of self control, nothing more. He's using 'sex addiction' as an excuse.
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 12:31 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?
Great answers, but way too many variables for me to answer. Assuming both are single in this day and age of STD's or STI's, sex at the drop of a hat should not be initiated without some thought about what the consequences could entail.

As a 68 year old man, I have learned that beauty is as well as "ugly" are interesting concepts that change with time. What I thought of as ugly when I was 20, can now look pretty darn HOT. I have found that my wife of 45+years still looks hot to me.

Hormonal release of bonding chemicals is pretty powerful stuff, as well.
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 02:49 PM Thread Starter
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

That guy told me he was sex addicted,because he was doing handjob like all the time he could and after that in few minutes he wanted more and more and more again. And only sex with woman could stop it for longer period of time (few days) and than again. But the awful feelings doing with that woman stopped him even use that woman to reduce the sex addiction.
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:13 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Originally Posted by Bleika Lii View Post
That guy told me he was sex addicted,because he was doing handjob like all the time he could and after that in few minutes he wanted more and more and more again. And only sex with woman could stop it for longer period of time (few days) and than again. But the awful feelings doing with that woman stopped him even use that woman to reduce the sex addiction.
'that guy' is screwed up, not sex addicted. No one can call themselves 'sex addicted' until they've been properly diagnosed by a professional called a CSAT.

Why do you even care?? He sounds like an idiot. Just stay away from him and people like him. He's just messing with your head here.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:43 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Originally Posted by Bleika Lii View Post
Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?
Sex is somewhat a mechanical function for a man. He is horny, so he has sex. He is hungry, so he has a samwich. SO, it does not so much matter how pretty this woman is, if she has tits and a cooch and is eager/kinky, odds are the guy will be horny and say sure, why not!
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:32 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

To me Ugly vs Beautiful is not the highest priority thing in considering sex.
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:40 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

So how ugly are we talking here?



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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 03:43 AM Thread Starter
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

But why would he do that? We are just good friends from childhood.

But what about people who are doing sex after marriage? And why people go to ****s (prostitution)? They need sex. The guy is not "club guy". And he was friends with that woman for long years. So from that point if view I can understand - no feelings no physical attraction,but he knows that person and trusts. Of course he felt bad what he was doing. It wasn't joy. It was just necessary for his sex drive. They both agreed to use each other for sex. He is usually the guy who make sex with girls he loves. But he was just divorced and didn't look for new one. And then the friend of him offered sex and he just used her to release sexual needs. I am one who do always with feelings that's why I don't understand how people can do sexy without feelings and if person is not physical attractive (just neutral) like didn't like hers body
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 04:31 AM Thread Starter
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

No, not that ugly as in the picture , although he said it was dark while he was doing it and could do with even ugliest friend (girl), it wasn't matter....the look. More like mechanical, because it was step better than do handjob. But of course he felt bad what he was doing. He said he even tried to imagine he is doing it with other girl, just not to think she is she. Is it true if sex is mechanical, guy doesn't think just feels down there and nothing more? As woman I don't understand it, because I always think during sex and I can't "forget" or "stop thinking" who is under me. Guys are totally different I guess
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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-04-2017, 11:28 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )
Of course it's possible for a man to have sex with a woman he does not find attractive, even a really ugly woman. Some guys just want sex.
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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:26 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

I've been in the situation (minus the year-long drought, but definitely unattached & horny) and I passed. I'd rather take care of things myself than have sex with someone who doesn't attract me.

I did have college acquaintances who would "take one for the team" (as they put it) by boning some "butterface," and then brag about it...all of which, particularly at a small school, seemed at least as callous and hurtful as it was inexplicable.
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-06-2017, 12:39 PM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

There is a saying I heard over in Ireland.You don't look at the mantle piece when you are poking the fire.
Another one is screwing an ugly woman is like riding a moped.You can have good fun but you wouldn't want your friends to see you.
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