what is likely going to happened? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 02:08 AM Thread Starter
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what is likely going to happened?

Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:01 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

if you'd like to stay friends with this person DON'T DO IT
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:55 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

Of course it's physically possible. The question you have to answer is do you feel it is morally and ethically right? I would personally never do something like this, but everyone is different and I respect that.

If you know her well enough, you could have a frank discussion, letting her know you are not at all interested in a romantic relationship with her, but you are ok with "friends with benefits". Then see how she feels about it.

Who's to say she doesn't think you are ugly, but that she hasn't got laid in a long time, and just needs a little action?

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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 03:58 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

When we were young, I asked my brother in law that same question - his response was that you can do her doggie style and not have to look at her, which I find disgusting . People have sex for various reasons and if she's unattractive as you say she might also be lonely and desire sex just as you do but you have to be extremely clear of your intent. Based on her personality, you can gauge if she can remain impartial.

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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 04:41 AM
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Cool Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Originally Posted by Bleika Lii View Post
Just vizualization - you are man with no relationships and you are thirsty from sex (haven't had sex more than year with woman) and now there is something like that - There is a friend of you (woman), she is not beautiful and not physical attractive to you. More like ugly. You don't have a feelings for her either. But there is a situation when she doesn't have a place where to stay overnight and you sleep in one room and she offers you sex many times. What man most likely going to do? Will have sex? Is it possible to have sex with someone you don't have feelings and you don't like physically and you think the person is even ugly, but just close as friend? is it possible?
Unless I have developed genuine vibes with her, greatly to the point that there is a mutual set of feelings as well as sexual desire built up for each other, I absolutely will not go there until those mutual feelings come to fruition!

Maybe it was just the way that I was brought up by my family, but looking for meaningless sex, with extremely rare exception, is a whole lot like trying to trevass Death Valley in the mid-July heat!

It's just rarely turns out to be any kind of a winning proposition!

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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 05:54 AM Thread Starter
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 06:58 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )

I suspect you're the woman. Just doll yourself up as much as possible, get him to have a drink or two, and go from there.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:22 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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Originally Posted by Bleika Lii View Post
Woman knows that it will be just sex and nothing more. They both know - JUST SEX.
But the guy is attractive, so from the girl's view it is normal that she can do it with that man (NOT feelings, BUT the guy is physically attractive). But from the man's view she is ugly.(NOT feelings, girl IS NOT physically attractive, but he just wants sex and is it really possible to make sex with someone who is not physically attractive and you don't have feelings? If girl was physically attractive i would understand, but she is not. It' s really that simple, you just don't look at the face and it is possible to do it? (I have heard from men, than once you start to do sex, you don't think with head, but just with head down there, so from that point I can understand, but before you are in, how can you start to do it??? )
If the guy is attractive, he shouldn't have any trouble finding a sex partner who is not "ugly".

If one has to ask if they should have sex with somebody or not - they probably shouldn't.

If you're at the point where you're considering having sex with someone you find unattractive, you're probably not as attractive as you think, and a lot more desperate than you think you are.


As an aside, people tend to gravitate towards people they feel they have a chance with. An "ugly" person will almost certainly not try to bed a person who is highly attractive in all areas - unless they're giving off an air of desperation. Or they're not as attractive as they think. Sexual propositions are generally made when one thinks their chances of rejection and embarrassment are low. To you, this woman is beneath you. To her, she probably thinks you're attractive, yes, but not to the degree that you believe you are. Or you may be the best looking dude around, but your attitude and personality does not reflect that. In other words, people tend to proposition people who they feel are on equal footing in some regard, or in most cases, below. You don't hit on the hottest, most confident girl in the bar if you're looking for a one-night-stand. You look for the one you perceive to be the easiest.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 07:37 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

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I suspect you're the woman. Just doll yourself up as much as possible, get him to have a drink or two, and go from there.
Good call, I didn't think of that!

If that's the case, my answer to the OP will change.

If you, OP, are the woman in this scenario - don't sweat it. How you perceive yourself is not always what others see. We always see our own flaws, and we are constantly comparing ourselves to others.

Furthermore - and far more important - is how you project yourself to others. Confidence (real or fake) is extremely important. Act as though you're not worthy, and people will see you as not worthy.

I can think of a handful of women I know, or knew, who wouldn't be considered 'attractive' by so-called societal standards. Yet they have this 'sexiness' about them. They carry themselves well, or have a slight confidence, or just exude a certain sexuality. My wife and I have a friend who is not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. But there's something about her that screams sexy and attractive. I couldn't tell you what it is, exactly, but it's there.

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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 08:39 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

Love is but a light switch away......

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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

I have never gone to bed with an ugly woman.
I woke up with a few though.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:14 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

This is in the Sex in MARRIAGE section. Is someone cheating here? What are you planning?

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:19 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

I don't sleep with people I'm not attracted to. But yes, it is likely that other people feel differently.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:20 AM
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

I agree that this is most likely the OP. So this reply is going to be based on that possibility.
I would venture to bet the OP is a virgin, because of the wording (I.e. "Do sex" or "make sex") and questions. That, and English is probably not her first language. Which is irrelevant.

If this is the case, I would really wait for someone you care about, and who cares about you.
If you have religious beliefs about sex, follow them. Handing away your virginity to some dude that isn't interested in you being more than a hole of relief, sounds like a terrible idea to me.

Ciao,

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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 03-03-2017, 09:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: what is likely going to happened?

No,no, no. You got me wrong. I'm not that girl and not that boy either. I just had a conversation (chat) with my friends. And one of them told me he was sexual addicted for some period of time. But he is the guy who is not "club guy" and doesn't go on purpose to look for girl for one night. But there he was with friend (girl) overnight and she offered the sex. First he said no, she offered again, again, again. Just sex, nothing more. No kisses, no hugs, just sex. And just because he was sexual addicted in that period, he agreed.
But he said it was awful to think with who he is doing this, not because she was friend of him, but because she wasn't attractive and guy didn't have a feelings for her. But he just didn't look in her face, didn't kiss here and just tried to do it. When he was doing sex, he told that head down there took all control and from that moment was better feeling, because he hadn't think about her, but just about sex. He did it few more times, but everytime with the same awful feeling, just because he was sexual addicted. Everytime after sex he felt bad and regret and wanted to go away faster. But the "sexual addiction" was out of control. After few times he couldn't stand it anymore and quit. I understand that people do sex for many reasons, and I was shamed to asked him all what i ask here, but is it really possible for guys to do it just because you are sexual addicted?
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