morning after charity sex - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 02:38 AM
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Re: morning after charity sex

Bad sex is not worth the time. I would offer to teach or show the woman how to do things within a night or two if they are inexperienced (going downtown on them) and if there is no improvement - buh bye.

But yeah, even a particularly bad sex partner - I decided to FAKE it. I had to think of sex with past women to keep things "up" - then went into fake climax mode because even that wasn't working. I thanked her... she went away happy - no reason to hurt her feelings. It was always going to be an ONS thing. If it was a relationship woman, then I wouldn't have done that.

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post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-09-2017, 04:06 AM
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Re: morning after charity sex

I always thank my husband when I'm the pursuer.

He thanks me by cuddling me tightly while spooning, as he falls asleep.

I don't do obligation sex, although sure, I have days when my mind is preoccupied on other things. I try to re-focus on what's important.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

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post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-11-2017, 05:16 AM Thread Starter
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G, are you still trying to find the right combination of tricks to get her to happily have sex with you?

yes and it sucks. i am assuming if i stop initiating it will just sliwly fade away.
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post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-12-2017, 02:44 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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Originally Posted by #62 View Post
Years of obligatory Saturday AM sex has got me down, might as well set an alarm. No apology necessary, no eye contact either, its awful.

I remember one hand job in particular she was watching TV not even paying attention then she asks me
"Oh did you cum"? BAwhahaha yep its that bad.
Oh my, this image makes me so sad for you!

In all fairness, do you "do" things for her in which you have one eye on the hockey game? As a woman, that's ****ing frustrating. It doesn't even have to be sexual... My husband has this annoying habit of doing things to "please" me when it's clear he doesn't want to do them. His attention will be scattered. Then stay at home and I'll do it my damn self.

Sometimes, the same thing goes for us and sex. At least she gave you a hand job...
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post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 03:05 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

I didn't thank women.

But I always told them how wonderful they were, how beautiful they were, and how fantastically lucky I was to get the chance to have sex with them.

Always, and often.

William
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post #21 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:14 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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I didn't thank women.

But I always told them how wonderful they were, how beautiful they were, and how fantastically lucky I was to get the chance to have sex with them.

Always, and often.
Just shows "different strokes for different folks". I did that for my wife. She felt it was a sign of weakness and lost respect for me. So did another woman I dated a few of times. Not every woman likes being complimented effusively. That is OK, there are plenty of non-communicative men out there for those women.

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post #22 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 04:46 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

Things I thought while reading through this.
Why wait until the next morning? Unless it was so fantastic you passed out.
It is actually kind of fun to have the power to say no. You should try it.
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post #23 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 05:03 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

My wife said; when said from a position of power compliments are received as genuine, and cannot possibly demean the man giving them.

I am merely the messenger of her message. I suspect her message means she believes who is delivering the compliment matters a great deal.

I have never had any issue with a woman perceiving me as weak, or loosing respect for me.

Be well
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post #24 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 05:57 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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Originally Posted by Holdingontoit View Post
Just shows "different strokes for different folks". I did that for my wife. She felt it was a sign of weakness and lost respect for me. So did another woman I dated a few of times. Not every woman likes being complimented effusively. That is OK, there are plenty of non-communicative men out there for those women.
I talk to my wife all of the time, yet thanking her for sex would feel weird so I don't do it. Plus she is also no fan of being complimented effusively.

I really can't see any point in ever thanking any of my sexual partners for sex, since they also get the same feel good experience from that sex as well.

At the same time though, my wife and I do mention our sexual experiences, so I might say "keep going", "stop", "that feels good", "that felt great" or "that didn't work".

On the other hand, my wife and I do thank each other for cooking, gift giving, holding the door, carrying something and on and on etc.

That said I can't imagine why anyone would need or want an apology for sharing sex.
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post #25 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 06:28 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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It is funny isn't it how some choose to live their lives? Obligation sex, sexless, no oral, no desire, having to thank for sex or an apology? I knew these things existed before tam but didn't know people tolerated this much. The apology is a new one lol
I chuckled at that too...I mean seriously just wtf? Lol.
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post #26 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-15-2017, 06:52 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

"give it up"? Doesn't sound like love-making, it sounds like deal-making. Is this a personal relationship or a business contract?

There are three kinds of business. Your business, my business and God's business. Whose business are you in? -Byron Katie
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post #27 of 36 (permalink) Old 03-16-2017, 08:47 AM
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Re: morning after charity sex

For some of us, sex has always been a business contract. Getting married makes it less explicit. Some of us like it that way. On both sides.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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post #28 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-22-2017, 11:06 PM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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Bad sex is not worth the time.
But really, how do you know it is "bad"? The end result is what matters, and that three seconds is pretty much always the same.
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post #29 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-23-2017, 02:02 AM
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Cool Re: morning after charity sex

I cannot help but think that the act of sex or "obligatory" sexual acts that are used as a "commodity," a "reward", or is done primarily out of sheer convenience, between either of two otherwise loving partners, that is indicative of "bartering," can in effect be, a rather unhealthy situation!

But then again, maybe that's just me!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #30 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-23-2017, 02:08 AM
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Re: morning after charity sex

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Originally Posted by Todd Haberdasher View Post
But really, how do you know it is "bad"? The end result is what matters, and that three seconds is pretty much always the same.
As a woman, I can say that if you are with a man who thinks like the bolded, you can be guaranteed it is going to be horrible, bad sex.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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